A lot of people assume not being ready for therapy means being in denial or lacking self-awareness.

That’s usually not the case.

In this episode, I’m talking about something I see all the time in early conversations with potential clients. The moment where I can tell someone isn’t quite ready for therapy yet. And it has nothing to do with how much they’ve reflected or how well they understand their past.

You can be insightful, emotionally aware, and still feel stuck in the same patterns.

Because the real shift in therapy isn’t just about understanding what’s happened to you. It’s about being willing to look at your role in what’s continuing.

Inside this episode, I talk about:

• Why self-awareness alone doesn’t create change
  
  
  
• The difference between focusing on other people and focusing on yourself
  
  
  
• Why it can feel safer to stay focused on what others are doing wrong
  
  
  
• The part of therapy that people don’t always expect
  
  
  
• Why validation on its own isn’t enough to move things forward
  
  
  
• The shift that tells me someone is actually ready for therapy
  
  
  

This isn’t about blame or taking responsibility for things that weren’t your fault.

But if your focus stays on other people needing to change, you’ll likely stay stuck. Even if you’re right.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing “all the work” but nothing is really shifting, this episode will help you understand why.

Lizandra is a UK- based relational psychotherapist who works with attachment, anxiety and relationships in St Albans and online. Learn more about her private practice New Frame Therapy and how you can work with her here.

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Many millennials are waking up to something previous generations rarely had language for. Childhood trauma. Emotional neglect. Attachment wounds.

In this episode, I talk about what it means to be part of the first generation in many families actively trying to understand and heal these patterns.

For a lot of people, this realisation comes with mixed emotions. Greater awareness can bring clarity. But it can also bring grief, anger, and confusion about how to hold compassion for our parents while still acknowledging the impact of what we experienced growing up.

I explore why so many millennials are looking back at their childhood with new understanding. And why being the person who questions family patterns can sometimes feel lonely.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why previous generations often survived trauma rather than processed it

• How conversations around mental health, therapy, and attachment became more visible for millennials

• The grief that can come with recognising emotional neglect or unmet needs in childhood

• What happens when you start seeing family dynamics differently

• The reality of being the one who begins breaking generational patterns

This work isn’t easy. But every time someone understands their childhood trauma, heals attachment wounds, or learns how to build safer relationships, the cycle starts to shift.

And often, that shift begins with one person.

If you’re exploring your own attachment patterns or the impact of childhood trauma on your adult relationships, you can find more resources and ways to work with me in the links below.

Lizandra is a UK-based BACP registered psychotherapist who works with childhood trauma, anxiety and attachment. Based in St Albans, Hertfordshire and online across the UK and EU.

Book an intro call here.

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Burnout isn’t just feeling tired—it shows up in ways that quietly sabotage work, relationships, and daily life. In this episode, I sit down with clinical psychologist and friend Dr Claire Plumbly to explore how burnout presents in real life, share stories from clients, and reflect on our own experiences.

We cover:

• Common signs of burnout you might be missing

• How burnout impacts relationships, work, and wellbeing

• Practical ways we work with clients to prevent and recover from burnout

• Personal reflections from both of us on managing high expectations and overdoing it

Dr Claire Plumbly who is a Clinical Psychologist, author of Amazon bestseller ‘Burnout: How to Manage Your Nervous System Before It Manages You’, and founder of Plum Psychology - a boutique psychology service for overcoming trauma, burnout, anxiety and low self-esteem - based online and in Taunton, Somerset.

Resources

Claire's Guide: Switching off after work http://www.plum-psychology.com/

Lizandra is a psychotherapist in St. Albans, Hertfordshire who works online and in-person with high-achieving women. She specialises in anxiety, childhood trauma, and attachment challenges, guiding clients toward clarity and self-trust. Discover more about her private practice New Frame Therapy

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