Hey Team!

Today I'm talking with Meredith Carder, author of It All Makes Sense Now. Meredith is an ADHD coach and the creator behind the popular Instagram account @hummingbird_adhd, where she focuses on neuro-affirming strategies for adults. With a background in psychology and an MBA, she brings a unique perspective on how we can bridge the gap between our high-level professional goals and the executive dysfunction that often gets in the way.

I got to meet Meredith at the 2025 ADHD Conference in Kansas City and then got to hang out with her again recently at NeuroDiversion in Austin. She's a ton of fun to talk with and while this episode had a few hurdles to get over in terms of actually recording it, was a ton of fun.

In our conversation today, we get into the concept of "Ambition vs. Capacity," that frustrating space where our big ideas don't quite match what we are actually capable of doing in the moment. We talk about why we feel so much shame over "adulting" tasks like laundry and dishes, and how changing our mental models of what an "adult" looks like can free up bandwidth for things that actually matter. We also get into Meredith's specific systems for planning her week and how she uses a "Monday Planning Meeting" to set realistic expectations before the week even starts.

If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/287

YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/y835cnrk

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HackingYourADHD

This Episode's Top Tips

1. 1. Often, we conflate the ideas of "simple" with "easy," and because simple tasks can lack the stimulation of more complex problems, they sometimes require more deliberate strategy and support, not less.
   2. High-level ideation can be a strength, but it is separate from executive function. We must learn to reconcile our big dreams with our actual current bandwidth to avoid the cycle of "losing self-trust" when we fail to reach unrealistic goals.
   3. Being "good" at something doesn't mean you have to or even necessarily need to do it, especially if it isn't something you are particularly interested in. Selecting goals based on personal values rather than just skills helps ensure that the "20% of boring stuff" required to reach a goal doesn't outweigh the "80% of interest" that keeps us going.

Welcome to Hacking Your ADHD. I'm your host, William Curb, and I have ADHD. On this podcast, I dig into the tools, tactics, and best practices to help you work with your ADHD brain. Today, I'm joined by Skye Waterson for our research recap series. In this series, we take a look at a single research paper, dive into what it says and how it was conducted, and try to find any practical takeaways.

In this episode, we're going to be discussing a paper called "Time Perception in Adults: Findings from a Decade Review." In this paper, they analyzed a decade of research—from 2012 to 2022—investigating the specific nature of time perception deficits for adults with ADHD. Time is a little bit more complex than we often think, so let's get into how complex it really is.

If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at https://HackingYourADHD.com/286

https://tinyurl.com/56rvt9fr - Unconventional Organisation Affiliate link

https://tinyurl.com/y835cnrk - YouTube

https://www.patreon.com/HackingYourADHD - Patreon

Hey Team!

We've all had those moments where we walk away from a conversation and immediately spiral into a "self-regulation hangover," wondering if we said too much or if we were just being "tolerated" rather than included. Feeling like maybe this whole friendship thing maybe just isn't for us.

This week, I'm talking with Caroline Maguire, a veteran social skills coach and the founder of the Social Excellence training program. She holds a Master's in Social Emotional Learning and is one of the few experts who approaches social skills as a "muscle" that can be built, rather than an innate talent you either have or you don't. Her first book, Why Will No One Play with Me?, became an instant staple for neurodivergent families helping children struggling with social skills to make friends. And with what she learned from that book she is now bringing to her upcoming book, Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults: A Guide for the Anxious, Uniquely Wired, and Easily Distracted.

In this episode, we're looking at the mechanics of friendship through a neurodivergent lens. We talk about the importance of proximity and "shared interest fuel" in bypassing the awkwardness of small talk. We also touch on the "rejection lens" and how our history of being bullied or marginalized can often color our current adult relationships. Caroline also walks me through some of her most practical frameworks, including the "Ice Cream Scoop" method for building trust and why having a "third place" is essential for creating low-pressure social friction.

If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/285

YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/y835cnrk

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HackingYourADHD

This Episode's Top Tips

1. 1. ADHD impulsivity often leads to "oversharing," which creates a "self-regulation hangover" of shame. The shift here is to view sharing as taking one "scoop" at a time, waiting for the other person to match your level of intimacy before offering more, which protects your trust and your energy.
   2. Our brains naturally hang on to negative social stories like Velcro while letting positive ones slide off like Teflon. Recognizing this biological bias allows you to challenge the "rejection lens" and realize that a friend's lack of a text might be about their own hard time rather than a reflection of your worth.
   3. Making friends isn't a 1-2-3 prescriptive step; it's about "social friction" and proximity. By prioritizing showing up at the same place consistently, you allow people to get used to you, which lowers the barrier for entry into community and future friendships.
   4. Remember, deep friendship doesn't happen instantly and takes work. Don't be discouraged if you're first attempts don't work out, keep at it and build up those friendships over time.