Summary

In this deeply personal solo episode, Ben shares the unfiltered story of his relationship with desire, intimacy, addiction and faith, and the long road that followed. From early experiences of wanting to be wanted, through chaotic relationships, substance abuse and the shame that came with it, he reflects on how a relentless hunger for attention quietly shaped his life and nearly destroyed what mattered most.

Ben speaks honestly about the collapse of a long relationship, the years of drugs and distraction that followed, and the moment he realised that believing you need something can drive you to sacrifice everything for it. Along the way, he explores the unexpected turning points, meeting Kerry, becoming a father, losing everything financially, and slowly learning how to sit with pain rather than run from it.

The episode traces a spiritual and psychological awakening, from men’s work and grief rituals to a profound moment of inner reckoning that brought self-forgiveness, peace and a new way of seeing himself. This is not a story of arrival, but of honesty, humility and ongoing work.

If you’ve ever tried to fill an inner emptiness with sex, success, substances, spirituality or approval, this conversation is for you.

Our Resources:
My Website: https://www.thedamngoodlistener.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedamngoodlistener/
Linkedin: benjaminleppier

Links etc:
Link for intelligent change https://www.intelligentchange.com/?rfsn=8339894.e05f4e7&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8339894.e05f4e7

Use discount code: DAMNGOODLISTENER for 10% discount

If you enjoyed this episode why not buy Ben (or Kerry) a coffee, all donations, small or great, are gratefully received:
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/headtohearttransform

When Love listens buy it now - http://bit.ly/4ptPpxm

What if the breakdown in your marriage wasn’t the end—but the beginning of something deeper, stronger, and far more honest than anything you’ve had before?

When Love Listens: The Marriage Book You Never Got (But Definitely Needed) is a lifeline for couples who are exhausted from trying, fed up with feeling unseen, and quietly terrified that their relationship is slipping through their fingers. This isn’t another surface-level self-help book full of vague advice and tidy clichés. This is the real thing—raw, compassionate, and relentlessly practical.

Marriage coach Ben Leppier brings over a decade of in-the-trenches experience to this book. He’s worked with hundreds of couples and seen it all: the stonewalling, the sexless months (or years), the parenting battles, the resentment that builds like plaque in your emotional arteries. He’s sat with people in their ugliest moments—and helped them find the courage to love differently.

This book is not about fixing your partner. It’s about understanding the patterns, pain points, and survival strategies that silently sabotage connection. It’s about learning the difference between listening to defend and listening to understand. It’s about responsibility—not as blame, but as power. It’s about growing up emotionally, without losing the messy, beautiful vulnerability that intimacy requires.

You’ll find:

• 
  Stories of real couples navigating real chaos—with honesty, heartbreak, and hope
• 
  Tools to stop circular arguments and actually move forward
• 
  Deep dives into the emotional dynamics underneath money fights, sexual disconnection, and parenting pressure
• 
  Insight into identity, ego, childhood wounds, and how they show up in adult love
• 
  A powerful section on the Enneagram to help you understand yourself—and your partner—like never before

You won’t find neat formulas or false promises. Instead, you’ll find clarity, courage, and a roadmap that helps you recover the love you thought was lost—and build something more meaningful in its place.

Whether you’re the one doing all the emotional heavy lifting, or the one who’s finally ready to show up differently, When Love Listens meets you where you are and calls you forward. It’s a book that doesn’t sugar-coat the truth, but holds your hand through it.

If you’re done with shallow fixes, and ready for deep repair—this is your book.

Ben’s approach is deeply informed by the likes of Brene Brown, Richard Rohr, Byron Katie, and the Enneagram framework—but it’s not theoretical. It’s gritty, grounded, and forged in the crucible of real-life relationship struggle. He doesn’t write from an ivory tower; he writes as someone who’s made his own mistakes, learned the hard way, and walked the long road back to connection in his own marriage.

When Love Listens isn’t just a book—it’s a mirror, a flashlight, and a map. A mirror to see your part more clearly, a flashlight to illuminate what’s really going on beneath the surface, and a map to help you move forward with intention and love. You’ll laugh, cry, feel seen—and, most importantly, start to believe that healing is possible.

If you’ve ever sat across the room from someone you used to feel so close to and wondered, “How did we get here?”—this book will help you answer that. And if there’s still a pa