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In this episode, I sit down with Melissa Duge Speirs to talk about her debut memoir Holy Disobedience, releasing March 31. Melissa shares what it was like growing up in a Seventh-day Adventist environment shaped by end-times fear, behavioral control, and purity culture, and how that framework shaped everything from identity to autonomy. Together, we unpack the “double coming of age” that so many survivors experience, first inside the system, and then again when they leave and have to rebuild their understanding of truth, self, and safety from scratch.

We also move into the deeper, often unspoken aftermath: discussing more about how high control religious environments become embedded into the body, into relationships, into self-worth. From “pretty pain” and the performance of palatable suffering to self-sabotage, shame, and reclaiming sexuality and voice, this conversation doesn’t soften the edges. Melissa opens up about her path to healing, the realities of breaking generational control, and the grueling, gatekept journey to getting this book published after decades of trying. This is a conversation about courage, clarity, and what it looks like to finally stop making pain look acceptable and start telling the truth out loud.

For those that want to be on the podcast make sure to reach out—link in the show notes.
Pre-roll music is composed by Joanna Whaley

For those who want to subscribe to my Patreon please look at the show notes for more information
Music composed by Joanna Whaley

Support the show

This podcast contains the personal accounts, thoughts, and opinions of guests. Focus on Your Own Family podcast will not be held liable for the personal feelings, and accounts of their guests. Focus on your Own family podcast holds itself to the highest level of integrity, and the reporting that we do in this podcast to a very high standard. We believe in showing evidence, and letting people draw their conclusions from that evidence.

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INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC
Scott Buckley "Omega"
COMMERCIAL MUSIC
Composed by Joanna Whaley

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In this episode, I sit down with my longtime friend Joanna Whaley, now a candidate for Michigan’s State House representing District 2 in Southeast Detroit, to talk about the unlikely path from megachurch pastor to public servant. We unpack how growing up and working inside evangelical systems shapes the way people organize, speak, and wield power, and why that lived experience matters in today’s political landscape. Joanna shares what she loves about her working-class, often-overlooked district, how pastoral skills translate into listening for the real crises beneath the noise, and why decoding the language of “family values,” faith, and fear is essential for protecting democracy and human dignity. It’s a conversation about community, accountability, and what it looks like to bring humanity back into spaces that too often strip it away.

To get involved or two donate to Joanna's campaign

https://www.joannawhaley.com/

For those that want to be on the podcast make sure to reach out—link in the show notes.
Pre-roll music is composed by Joanna Whaley

For those who want to subscribe to my Patreon please look at the show notes for more information
Music composed by Joanna Whaley

Support the show

This podcast contains the personal accounts, thoughts, and opinions of guests. Focus on Your Own Family podcast will not be held liable for the personal feelings, and accounts of their guests. Focus on your Own family podcast holds itself to the highest level of integrity, and the reporting that we do in this podcast to a very high standard. We believe in showing evidence, and letting people draw their conclusions from that evidence.

Your life matters,
National help numbers

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT
MY SUBSTACK
Please reach out:
focusonyourownfamilypodcast@gmail.com
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS
LINKTREE

INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC
Scott Buckley "Omega"
COMMERCIAL MUSIC
Composed by Joanna Whaley

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, Stephanie sits down with Lizzie Goldsmith, is an audio producer and creator of the nonfiction audio drama adaptation of When We Were On Fire (based on Addie Zierman’s memoir). Her work explores faith, identity, grief, power, and the emotional reality of growing up in evangelical spaces.

Lizzie is the creator of an audio drama adaptation of the 2013 deconstruction memoir When We Were On Fire by Addie Zierman. The series is a four-part production that blends the intimacy of memoir with the cinematic world-building of scripted drama. Stephanie describes it as “Adventures in Odyssey… if the characters deconstructed,” and Lizzie explains how rare this kind of project still is, especially as a nonfiction adaptation in a drama format.

Together, Stephanie and Lizzie compare notes from eerily parallel upbringings: homeschool culture, Awana verses that never leave your brain, the strange logic of “no sex scenes but yes, horrifying violence,” and the Christian vocabulary that sounds completely unhinged outside church walls (“hedge of protection,” “traveling mercies,” “how’s your walk?”). They talk about how quickly a single phrase can snap your nervous system back into old fear and obedience, even years later.

The conversation also explores the creative hunger that follows deconstruction, especially for people who grew up with limited access to “normal” culture. Lizzie shares how adapting Addie’s memoir during grad school became both a creative obsession and a lifeline, complete with a massive cast, original music, and years of delays due to audio rights before it was finally able to be released widely as a podcast.

🎧 Go listen to When We Were On Fire now.

For those that want to be on the podcast make sure to reach out—link in the show notes.
Pre-roll music is composed by Joanna Whaley

For those who want to subscribe to my Patreon please look at the show notes for more information
Music composed by Joanna Whaley

Support the show

This podcast contains the personal accounts, thoughts, and opinions of guests. Focus on Your Own Family podcast will not be held liable for the personal feelings, and accounts of their guests. Focus on your Own family podcast holds itself to the highest level of integrity, and the reporting that we do in this podcast to a very high standard. We believe in showing evidence, and letting people draw their conclusions from that evidence.

Your life matters,
National help numbers

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT
MY SUBSTACK
Please reach out:
focusonyourownfamilypodcast@gmail.com
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS
LINKTREE

INTRO AND OUTRO MUSIC
Scott Buckley "Omega"
COMMERCIAL MUSIC
Composed by Joanna Whaley