In this episode, Stefanie Michele and Sarah Dosanjh talk about the exhausting and very human wish to get other people to change. What is the difference between having a boundary and secretly waiting for someone to become different? How do we know when we are naming something real versus getting pulled into a familiar fight? Through personal examples around family dynamics, guilt, defensiveness, justice, acceptance, and safety, they explore why certain patterns are so hard to stop reacting to — and what becomes possible when we stop making change the price of peace.

In this episode, we talk about that very normal, very annoying experience of looking at someone else and thinking, How are they doing all of that? Sarah thinks of people juggling parenting, careers, caregiving, YouTube, groups, books, and actual life admin. Stefanie thinks less about quantity and more about quality, like the people who seem to have the team, the polish, the systems, and the professional course suite.

So we get into what comparison is actually poking at: capacity, overwhelm, uncertainty, caregiving, business pressure, self-judgment, and the fear that everyone else is somehow moving forward while you are still trying to answer one email from the book cover designer.

Sarah talks about caring for her dad while he's very unwell, the anticipatory grief of not knowing what comes next, and the strange guilt of finding something hard when you can imagine someone else having it harder. Stefanie talks about the difference between what people see online and what they don't see: the areas where work feels alive and energizing, and the other areas of life where the wheels are maybe not exactly spinning gracefully.

We also discuss why frustration can sometimes feel preferable to fear or despair, how comparison fills in the blanks of other people's lives, and why someone else's strengths are not separate from the rest of their actual life.

A conversation about capacity, comparison, caregiving, business, burnout, admin dread, hidden deficits, visible strengths, and the exhausting little fantasy that everyone else has somehow been issued more spoons and a better working relationship with productivity.

STEF LINKS:

Emails

Instagram

YouTube

Substack

SARAH LINKS:

Blog

YouTube

Groups

This episode is about why familiar suffering can sometimes feel safer than relief.

We talk about how long-term struggles can become tied to identity, safety, meaning, avoidance, legitimacy, and the hope that someone will finally notice how much pain you're in. Through the lens of eating disorder recovery, depression, anxiety, body image, and the fantasy of rescue, we explore why letting go of suffering can feel less like instant freedom and more like losing a familiar place to go.

We also talk about the difference between pain and suffering, why the nervous system returns to old pathways, and what it can mean to build more choice when struggle has been part of your sense of self for a long time.

STEF LINKS: Emails Instagram YouTube Substack

SARAH LINKS: Blog YouTube Groups

Why do we want to be seen… and also feel the urge to hide?

In this episode of Feelings and Other Inconveniences, we unpack the psychology of being seen — from social media and identity curation to the deeper fear of judgment, rejection, and being misunderstood.

We explore:

• the difference between being seen vs being looked at
• how fear of judgment and rejection shapes what we share
• the pressure of social media, visibility, and validation
• why being accurately understood matters more than just being visible
• how people-pleasing, comparison, and identity influence how much space we take up
• the vulnerability of putting yourself out there (including writing a book and public exposure)

This conversation gets into the real tension between visibility and safety — and why even confident, self-aware people still wrestle with it.

If you've ever overthought a post, held yourself back in a conversation, or worried about how you're being perceived, this episode is for you.

More About Stefanie Michele:

• Instagram
• Substack
• Website
• Full But Not Finished on YouTube

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

YouTube

Instagram

Website

Book: I Can't Stop Eating

In this episode, Stefanie Michele and Sarah Dosanjh dig into a familiar problem: why we don't do the things we know help us.

Using real-life examples (walks, movement, scheduling, tiny "extra steps" that somehow feel huge), they unpack how mental load, environment cues, and internal parts create resistance.

They explore the difference between shame-driven self-talk and real self-compassion, how validating resistance can loosen it, and when "understanding why" is the turning point.

Expect practical takeaways, parts-work insight, and a refreshingly human conversation about motivation, inertia, and follow-through.

More About Stefanie Michele:

• Instagram
• Substack
• Website
• Full But Not Finished on YouTube

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

YouTube

Instagram

Website

Book: I Can't Stop Eating

More About Stefanie Michele:

• Instagram
• Substack
• Website
• Full But Not Finished on YouTube

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

• • YouTube
  • Instagram
  • Website
  • Book: I Can't Stop Eating

It's that time of year when everyone starts acting like January is a reset button and a goal will save their life.

In this episode, Sarah and Stefanie talk about goals without the usual hype. The kind that actually fit your values versus the ones you absorb from culture and then punish yourself for not wanting. They get into why goal language can feel weirdly controlling, why outcome-based goals can ramp up pressure fast, and what changes when you shift toward intention, presence, and process instead of chasing a finish line.

If goal season makes you feel motivated and vaguely annoyed (or just tired), this conversation will make you feel less alone — and probably a little clearer about what you actually want going into 2026.

Tune in to hear about...

• Why "goal season" can feel motivating and weirdly pressurizing

• The difference between borrowed goals (culture-approved) and goals that actually fit you

• Goals vs. intentions: why intention can feel more flexible and human

• Process goals vs. outcome goals (and why process can be less mentally suffocating)

• What it looks like to release outcome-control without giving up on growth

• How "productivity culture" sneaks into personal development language

• Why certain goals (especially body/weight-related ones) are more loaded

• Redefining success around presence, alignment, and capacity

• Knowing when stepping back is growth (not "falling behind")

• The push-pull of action vs. receptivity (masculine/feminine energy)

• Picking a "word for the year" as a softer entry point into change

Love the episode?

More About Stefanie Michele:

• Instagram
• Substack
• Website
• Full But Not Finished on YouTube

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

• • YouTube
  • Instagram
  • Website
  • Book: I Can't Stop Eating

• Are we confusing mental load with caring?
• What happens in our bodies when we are carrying too much?
• And what do we believe will fall apart if we stop managing everything?

More About Stefanie Michele:

• Instagram
• Substack
• Website
• Full But Not Finished on YouTube

More About Sarah Dosanjh:

• YouTube
• Instagram
• Website
• Book: I Can't Stop Eating