What happens when a stressed-out doctoral student, given just three weeks to save his academic career, finds himself completely unplugged in the desert and invited to dismantle his ego?

In this nineteenth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Doug Shirley for a profound conversation about his 2016 initiation at Aravaipa Canyon. Doug, an academic, therapist, and convener for Awaken 2026, shares how he arrived at the rites "freaked out" after his dissertation extension was denied, searching for a "flashy" spiritual experience to stroke his intact ego.

Doug speaks with raw honesty about the unglamorous reality of real growth—joking that transformation usually "sucks ass" in the moment—and recounts how a timely intervention from a brother kept him from quitting early.

Episode Highlights

• The Dissertation Crisis: Arriving in the desert unplugged and under immense pressure from a looming academic deadline.
• Transformation Isn't Pretty: Confronting the feeling of being an impostor in ritual and realizing that profound shifts often feel like longing and disruption.
• The River Intervention: How a firm nudge from a trusted brother stopped Doug from packing it in and going home.
• The "We" of Masculinity: Moving past the idea of a singular masculine ideal to discover the sacred rhythms that exist shoulder-to-shoulder in community.
• Surprised by Support: Entering the rites expecting judgment and puffed-up chests, only to find an overwhelming environment of love.

Links & Resources

• Choosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.org
• Practicing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/app
• Illuman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mrop
• Adam's Return by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PzVESH
• Falling Upward by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/4uUM64P
• Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/47qLNVp
• From Wild Man to Wise Man by Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3PKkHmj
• Brian Mueller (Host): https://brianmueller.com

Credits

• First and foremost, thank you to Doug Shirley for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.
• Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.
• Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence.

Music Credits:

• Slow Mo Dreams by Soundroll
• Becoming a Legend by Vens Adams