Trigger warning: This episode discusses disordered eating, body image, and anxiety.

My old bodybuilding coach called me a pig.

I emailed him after the 4th or 5th binge. First year of PT school. The most anxiety I'd ever had in my life up to that point. I was stuck in a cycle I couldn't break and I reached out for help.

That email is what came back.

It's also one of the two or three reasons I became the coach I am today.

Nobody asked me why I wanted to bodybuild in the first place. They probably should have. Instead, what I got was blame and shame piled onto someone who was already flagellating himself daily.

This episode is about that email, what it cost me, and what I've come to believe any good coaching relationship is built on.

In this solo episode, I get into:

• Why shame fails every single time to create lasting change, and why that's especially true for high-achieving perfectionists
• What my coach should have asked when we started working together, and what it cost when he never did
• What a year's worth of client responses says about what changes people most, and why constant communication ranked above everything else
• What trust, relationship, and communication look like when they're done right
• What I need you to know if you've had a toxic or damaging coaching relationship and you're still carrying it

You didn't fail your coach. Your coach failed you.

And that's not a reason to stop yourself from having hope and reaching out for help again, my friend.

Links:

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