SHOW NOTES

Car accidents, driving records, Melissa’s full history of vehicular incidents, and the definitive marriage debate over who is the Passenger Princess and who is the Driver Douche. EP 77 covers a lot of ground, and all of it is moving.

Melissa was in a serious car accident when a woman ran a stop sign and hit David’s truck. Shep was in the vehicle and flew across to the door. Melissa was taken by ambulance. Remi texted from home to ask what really happened because she knows her mother’s track record. That track record gets its full airing this episode: the first day of tenth grade, when she plowed into a truck while reaching for her lipstick, dragging a large black dog the entire length of Timberland Drive on a Friday night drag, and running over a full-size console television that fell off the back of a truck and sent sparks everywhere. David then presents his own list. The Passenger Princess segment covers everything from sleeping between driveways to refusing gas-station food to asking David to put her in the car like Kevin Costner did Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard, which he obliged at the Piggly Wiggly. The sketch closes with accident-report phrases that also sound like marriage milestones.

QUOTES WORTH HIGHLIGHTING

“You might be a Passenger Princess if you are asleep between home and the church. You might be a Driver Douche if you listen to a business audiobook on 1.75x speed while your wife is trying to sleep.”

Melissa and David, presenting both sides of the argument

“David would put his hand on top of my head and push me into the car like Kevin Costner did with Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard. It doesn’t have the same luster when you ask him to do it at the Piggly Wiggly.”

Melissa, on the celebrity car entry ritual that did not survive the suburbs

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