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But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems

But Why? Real talk on messy minds, and messier systems

By: Dr. Kristin & Dr. Laura
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About this listen

Welcome to But Why? — real talk on messy minds and messier systems. Hosted by two psychologists, Kristin and Laura, we dive deep into the psychology of human experience: from mental health and identity to power, culture, and the systems that shape our lives. Expect thoughtful conversations, critical questions, and honest reflections on how people—and the world—really work. No self-help platitudes. No easy answers. Just meaningful, accessible dialogue for curious minds. Topics we explore: • Psychology and mental health • Identity, feminism, and culture • Neurodivergence and lived experience • Systemic power and social change New episodes every week. Subscribe to join the conversation. #PsychologyPodcast #MentalHealth #CultureAndIdentity #RealTalkPodcastCopyright 2024 All rights reserved. Biological Sciences Science Social Sciences
Episodes
  • But Why Does Christmas Feel So Bittersweet? | Part 3: Boundaries & Actually Enjoying the Holidays
    Dec 21 2025

    We’ve talked nostalgia. We’ve talked stress. Now we’re getting real about how to survive the season with your sanity intact.

    In Part 3 of our Christmas series, Kristin and Laura tackle the big one: why this season feels so exhausting, and what we can actually do about it.

    This one’s for anyone who's ever felt like the holiday magic depends on them… and then quietly burned out in the background.

    We unpack:
    • Why women often are Christmas
    • The pressure to perform joy
    • Masking, meltdown, and making mashed potatoes for 15
    • Invisible labour, weaponised incompetence, and the “good hostess” trap
    • How to set boundaries without guilt
    • Grief, loneliness, and the weirdness of festive family roles
    • And what a genuinely good Christmas might actually look like

    It’s part psychological insight, part holiday group therapy, and part festive rant...with just enough chaos to feel relatable.

    Bonus: sensory-friendly restaurant tantrums, spreadsheet wars, and Colorado-level decor standards.

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    1 hr and 3 mins
  • But Why Does Christmas Feel So Bittersweet? | Part 2: Why the Holidays Burn Us Out
    Dec 12 2025

    In Part 2 of our holiday series, Kristin and Laura peel back the glitter to talk about the real stress under the tinsel...from sensory overload and grief to the gendered emotional labour that keeps the “magic” going.

    We unpack:

    • Why the holidays feel more emotionally intense than joyful

    • How old family roles resurface and trap us in the past

    • The link between perfectionism, people-pleasing, and identity

    • The hidden burnout of autistic masking in social settings

    • Why "relaxing" actually feels harder than just keeping busy

    Drawing on lived experience, feminist psychology, and neurodivergent perspectives, this episode makes space for anyone who’s ever felt overwhelmed by a season that’s supposed to feel special.

    It’s not just you. And no, it doesn’t make you a Grinch.

    Socials: https://linktr.ee/butwhy.pod

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    55 mins
  • But Why Does Christmas Feel So Bittersweet? | Part 1: Nostalgia, Identity & Holiday Expectations
    Dec 9 2025

    In Part 1 of our holiday series, we deck the halls...and then unpack why it never quite feels the way it used to.

    Kristin and Laura get reflective (and slightly existential) about the bittersweet nature of Christmas nostalgia:
    Why does the run-up feel more magical than the day itself? Why do we cling to rituals even when they’re imperfect? And why does trying to recreate the past sometimes leave us feeling… worse?

    From the psychology of memory to neurodivergent holiday burnout, we unpack:

    • Why nostalgia shapes our identity (and why we chase it)
    • How memory editing gives us that “golden” Christmas feeling
    • The emotional power of rituals, repetition, and stocking routines
    • Why Christmas films hit so hard...and sometimes disappoint
    • The grief of changing roles and lost traditions
    • Gendered labour, family expectations, and “mum is the magic”
    • Why childhood joy can feel both comforting and out of reach

    This isn’t a Hallmark episode — but it is an honest one. With stories, psychology, and just enough glitter.

    Bonus: Secret Santas, spy gadgets, and cream cheese + hot chocolate (trust us).

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    1 hr and 4 mins
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