What happens when the child isn't the problem? When you sit a kid down to talk through their "behavior," and you realize the real story is happening at home?

In this episode of Breaking Formation, we explore parentification, parental mental illness, and the quiet ways teens learn to survive when family dynamics get turned upside down. Hosted by retired Air Force Colonel Merryl Tengesdal and child psychotherapist Shea Phinney, MFT, this conversation goes deep into what it means when kids become the parent—the oldest sibling making sure homework gets done (often called "Eldest Daughter Syndrome"), the teen tiptoeing around a parent's rage, and the child learning to read a room before they've learned to read a book.

Drawing on Shea's years working in child protective services, this episode unpacks how therapists create safety for children, how to help a young person understand that their parent's struggles are not their fault, and what mandated reporting really looks like. Merryl and Shea also open up with personal anecdotes from their own single-parent households, sharing honest, sometimes funny reflections on the moments that shaped them.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE

Parentification and how taking on adult responsibilities affects kids into adulthood.

Misidentified child behavior—when the parent is the bigger problem.

Teens and parental substance abuse, depression, anxiety, and erratic behavior.

Warning signs of a parental mental health crisis.

Confidentiality rules for minors in therapy.

Teen mental health support and where to turn for help.

WHERE TO FIND SUPPORT

If you're a young person navigating a tough home life, you are not alone. Reach out to extended family, a school counselor, or confidential support lines. If something feels uncomfortable, trust your gut. Healing doesn't happen in isolation.

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a volunteer Crisis Counselor 24/7.

Alateen: Support for teens affected by a loved one's drinking (al-anon.org/for-alateen).

SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357 for treatment referral and information.

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💬 Drop a comment below: What is one boundary you’ve learned to set that has protected your peace?

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Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only. It is not meant to diagnose or treat any illness. Please contact a qualified healthcare provider if you notice that you or your parent may be struggling.

#BreakingFormation #Parentification #EldestDaughterSyndrome #TeenMentalHealth #FamilyDynamics #Alateen #ParentalMentalIllness #YouthDevelopment #MentalHealthSupport

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Are your friendships changing as you grow older? In this episode of Breaking Formation, we dive deep into the evolving nature of friendships and how to figure out who your true friends really are.

Join retired Air Force Colonel Merryl Tengesdal and child psychotherapist Shea Phinney as they explore the complexities of relationships across different stages of life. From the playground to adulthood, friendships flow like water with tides that come and go. Merryl and Shea share relatable stories and expert insights on helping kids and young adults understand their personal values, set healthy boundaries, and figure out who belongs in their inner circle.

Watch the full episode for actionable advice on dealing with changing friend groups, protecting your peace, and learning when to let kids navigate their own relationship battles.

Subscribe to the channel so you never miss a conversation, and let us know your thoughts on true friendship in the comments below.

Table of Contents:

00:00 - Navigating a rapidly changing world

03:02 - The evolving tides of friendships

09:02 - Aligning values and setting boundaries

18:10 - Acquaintances vs. true friends

23:51 - Letting kids figure out their own battles

Connect with Breaking Formation:

Subscribe to our channel on YouTube: Breaking Formation - YouTube for more weekly episodes.

Follow us on social media to join the community conversation.

#BreakingFormation #Friendships #TrueFriends #Relationships #Boundaries

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The traditional path of going to school, getting a degree, and working for 30 years before retiring is rapidly shifting. In this episode of Breaking Formation, we explore the profound impact of AI on traditional career paths and how young adults can navigate unprecedented workforce changes.

Merryl Tengesdal and child psychotherapist Shea Phinney sit down to discuss why flexibility and creativity are now essential components of modern career planning. They examine how artificial intelligence is reshaping industries and share strategies to help young people prepare for an unpredictable future. From developing primary, secondary, and tertiary career backup plans to understanding the massive value of junior colleges and trade certifications, this conversation provides a roadmap for adapting to tomorrow's job market.

Discover how to build a resilient career strategy and cultivate an entrepreneurial mindset that can withstand technological disruptions. How are you and your family preparing for these shifts in the job market? Share your thoughts and pivot plans in the comments below!

Watch the full video for actionable advice and tips on future-proofing your career, and subscribe to Breaking Formation for more weekly discussions on navigating life's biggest transitions.

Table of Contents:

00:00 - The shift in traditional career paths

02:10 - AI's impact on the future workforce

08:49 - Building your career pivot plan

13:05 - The hidden value of junior colleges and trades

19:22 - Cultivating an entrepreneurial mindset

Connect with Breaking Formation:

Subscribe to our channel to never miss an episode.

Follow us on social media to join the conversation and access more resources.

#breakingformation #careers #college #teens #youthdevelopment #subscribe #future #mindset #trades #juniorcollege

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