What is a boundary—and why do family members so often cross it? In this episode of Boundaries & Banter, we sit down with licensed family therapist Bernadine Fried to break down what boundaries actually are, why they’re essential for mental health, and how family dynamics, in-laws, and culture complicate them.

We talk about physical, emotional, and relational boundaries, why people-pleasing leads to resentment, and how to set limits without guilt or over-explaining. We also react to a real listener story involving a sister-in-law snooping through a phone at family dinner—and exactly how to respond when a boundary is violated.

This episode is for anyone struggling with family boundaries, in-laws, people-pleasing, or feeling like setting limits makes you “the bad guy.”

00:00 – Welcome back + why we’re defining boundaries
00:26 – Meet Bernadine Fried (LMFT)
00:55 – What a boundary is (where I start/you begin)
01:20 – Physical vs emotional vs relational boundaries
02:52 – Why emotional boundaries create resentment
05:20 – Real-life example: midnight work call (no boundary)
06:00 – How to set boundaries without abandoning yourself
08:16 – Setting boundaries after “no boundaries” + pushback
09:08 – You don’t set boundaries alone (bring your partner in)
13:27 – Scripts: “This is what I’m needing right now”
15:23 – Consequences when people keep crossing it
20:03 – Culture + boundaries: when it feels like an attack
22:22 – Story time: sister-in-law snoops phone at Shabbat dinner
23:30 – What to say + do you apologize?
28:11 – Would You Rather (lightning round)
34:58 – Wrap + thank you

If this episode resonates, subscribe for honest conversations about boundaries, relationships, family dynamics, and mental health.

#boundaries
#familyboundaries
#inlaws
#mentalhealth
#peoplepleasing
#relationships
#therapy
#emotionalboundaries
#selfrespect
#healing
#podcast

Welcome to Boundaries & Banter 🎙️
Join Taryn and Michela for raw, funny, and heartfelt conversations about mental health, relationships, and everything in between.

👇 Stay connected with us:
📸 Instagram – @boundariesandbanter

🎵 TikTok – @boundariesandbanter

▶️ YouTube Shorts & full episodes – youtube.com/@boundariesandbanter

💌 Share your story: boundariesandbanter@gmail.com

#BoundariesAndBanter #MentalHealthPodcast #Relationships #FunnyPodcast #WomensPodcast

Generational trauma shows up as “normal” family patterns—guilt, fear, silent treatment, people-pleasing—and it quietly shapes your nervous system. In this Boundaries & Banter episode, Taryn & Michela talk about how it’s passed down, how it impacts boundaries, and what it really takes to break the cycle.

We unpack:

What generational trauma is (and what it isn’t)

Survival patterns: guilt, obligation, fear-based parenting, silence

How immigration + safety fears can live in your body decades later

Why breaking patterns often means disappointing someone

The “owing” narrative: why gratitude doesn’t cancel autonomy

No-contact conversations online—and what people miss without context

A listener story: a Persian mom terrified of “losing” her daughter

📩 Send your stories: boundariesandbanter@gmail.com
(always anonymous)

00:00 – Generational trauma: why this matters
00:27 – Definition: how trauma passes down through patterns
01:25 – Common examples: silence, guilt, fear, obligation
02:18 – Breaking the cycle: can you recognize it?
02:30 – Our South Africa story: living in constant fear
04:31 – Why “panic mode” becomes your default
06:50 – Immigrant trauma: “I can’t fail” mindset
08:49 – Body image + food patterns passed down
11:20 – How it shows up: people-pleasing, apologizing, fear of conflict
13:10 – Why boundaries feel like danger
15:16 – The no-contact debate: what people don’t understand
18:27 – Step one: recognize it. Step two: choose change
19:04 – The hardest part: disappointing someone
22:28 – “Your child doesn’t owe you” (and why that’s healing)
24:33 – Listener story: Persian mom, 28-year-old daughter moving away
26:06 – Our take: let her go, keep her close
30:07 – Would You Rather: honesty vs resentment
31:00 – Would you rather: viral fight vs unresolved pain
31:54 – Wrap

#generationaltrauma
#familypatterns
#healingjourney
#boundaries
#peoplepleasing
#traumarecovery
#familydynamics
#mentalhealth
#immigrantstory

Welcome to Boundaries & Banter 🎙️
Join Taryn and Michela for raw, funny, and heartfelt conversations about mental health, relationships, and everything in between.

👇 Stay connected with us:
📸 Instagram – @boundariesandbanter

🎵 TikTok – @boundariesandbanter

▶️ YouTube Shorts & full episodes – youtube.com/@boundariesandbanter

💌 Share your story: boundariesandbanter@gmail.com

#BoundariesAndBanter #MentalHealthPodcast #Relationships #FunnyPodcast #WomensPodcast

Online bullying, internet harassment, and cruel comment culture are out of control. In this emotional episode of Boundaries & Banter, we open up about the hateful comments we received, the difference between disagreement and bullying, and how anonymity online turns cruelty into entertainment.

We talk about:

When criticism becomes harassment

The psychology behind mob mentality online

How grief, trauma, and postpartum vulnerability get weaponized

Why being “public” does not mean consenting to abuse

How to protect your mental health in the face of online attacks

This is a raw, necessary conversation about boundaries, humanity, and why words matter more than people think.

💬 If you’ve experienced bullying — online or offline — you’re not alone.

https://www.stopbullying.gov/

📩 Share your story: boundariesandbanter@gmail.com

00:00 – Are we ready to talk about this?
01:05 – Why we started Boundaries & Banter
02:20 – When opinions turn into cruelty
04:01 – Criticism vs bullying: what’s the difference?
05:29 – Anonymous hate and entitlement online
08:03 – Bullying as a public health issue
09:19 – Mob mentality on social media
11:14 – Mental health impact of online harassment
15:01 – Weaponizing grief and personal trauma
18:16 – Why bullies project their pain
21:36 – Celebrity culture & parasocial entitlement
26:36 – How to protect yourself online
27:13 – A personal bullying story (high school)
33:34 – Our message to anyone being bullied
34:45 – Final thoughts: bullying is not okay

#OnlineBullying
#InternetHarassment
#MentalHealthMatters
#BoundariesAndBanter
#StopBullying
#PodcastConversation
#DigitalBoundaries

Welcome to Boundaries & Banter 🎙️
Join Taryn and Michela for raw, funny, and heartfelt conversations about mental health, relationships, and everything in between.

👇 Stay connected with us:
📸 Instagram – @boundariesandbanter

🎵 TikTok – @boundariesandbanter

▶️ YouTube Shorts & full episodes – youtube.com/@boundariesandbanter

💌 Share your story: boundariesandbanter@gmail.com

#BoundariesAndBanter #MentalHealthPodcast #Relationships #FunnyPodcast #WomensPodcast