Two dads, Lee and Bobby, share their journey adopting siblings, from the validation of being approved as parents to navigating their sons' unique personalities and trauma responses. Their story highlights the importance of maintaining connections with foster carers while developing therapeutic approaches to parenting children who've experienced neglect.

• Equal treatment in the adoption process regardless of being a same-sex couple
• Building productive relationships with the foster carer who had cared for the boys for 18 months
• Honoring children's life stories and past experiences rather than seeing foster care as just "a holding room"
• Understanding and supporting different trauma responses
• Accessing post-adoption support including play therapy and life story work
• Learning therapeutic parenting techniques that help disarm fight-or-flight responses
• Creating support networks through extended family and professional resources

If you'd like to hear more from the Barnardo's fostering and adoption NI podcast, like and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. To learn more about fostering adoption with us, search for Barnardo's online or find the link in our program description.

Learn more about fostering and adoption with Barnardo’s:
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/fostering-and-adoption

To arrange a no-strings call visit
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/foster/register-to-foster

To ask a question, give us some feedback or make a topic request, email Ness at: vanessa.haynes@barnardos.org.uk

Changing childhoods, changing lives.

Parent and child fostering brings unique challenges as you welcome both a vulnerable young parent and their baby into your home for an intensive placement. We explore the delicate balance between supporting new parents while documenting their progress, and how these specialised placements can transform lives.

Ness chats with Laura, a Parent and Child foster carer, and Ben from the BFANI social work team.

• Placements typically last three months due to their intensive 24/7 nature
• Foster carers primarily support the parent to develop their own parenting skills rather than directly caring for the baby
• The first six weeks focus on support and guidance, while the second half allows parents to demonstrate independence
• Foster carers often become advocates for young parents among the many professionals involved

Search for Barnardo's online to learn more about fostering and adoption with us.

Learn more about fostering and adoption with Barnardo’s:
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/fostering-and-adoption

To arrange a no-strings call visit
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/foster/register-to-foster

To ask a question, give us some feedback or make a topic request, email Ness at: vanessa.haynes@barnardos.org.uk

Changing childhoods, changing lives.

Therapeutic parenting recognises children's behaviour as communication and focuses on nurturing connections to help children who've experienced trauma develop trust and security. Unlike traditional parenting approaches, therapeutic parenting requires understanding a child's inner world and developmental needs rather than simply managing behaviours.

• Therapeutic parenting is not about being a therapist but about healing through nurturing relationships
• Children who enter care have experienced trauma and have different developmental starting points
• Traditional parenting techniques like time-outs can trigger feelings of rejection in care-experienced children
• Children learn who they are through how others respond to them
• Care-experienced children often function at a younger emotional age despite their chronological age
• Children with early trauma often develop internal working models where they feel unsafe and unlovable
• Building predictable, safe experiences helps traumatised children slowly develop trust

If you'd like to hear more from the Barnardo's Fostering and Adoption NI podcast, like and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. To learn more about fostering adoption with us, search for Barnardo's online or find a link in our program description.

Learn more about fostering and adoption with Barnardo’s:
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/fostering-and-adoption

To arrange a no-strings call visit
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/foster/register-to-foster

To ask a question, give us some feedback or make a topic request, email Ness at: vanessa.haynes@barnardos.org.uk

Changing childhoods, changing lives.

Learn more about fostering and adoption with Barnardo’s:
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/fostering-and-adoption

To arrange a no-strings call visit
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/foster/register-to-foster

To ask a question, give us some feedback or make a topic request, email Ness at: vanessa.haynes@barnardos.org.uk

Changing childhoods, changing lives.

Thinking about fostering but feeling overwhelmed by the process? Too busy to listen to the longer episode? We've got your back!

This bitesize episode pulls back the curtain on the fostering assessment, walking you through exactly what to expect from your first contact with Barnardo's through to the home visit and beyond. We address common misconceptions head-on: No, you don't need parenting experience. Yes, your spare bedroom currently being used as an office is completely fine. And that home visit? It's not about judging your housekeeping skills!

Our fostering specialists explain the essential criteria (being at least 21, having some experience with children, and having a spare bedroom) while emphasizing that the assessment process is designed to be supportive rather than intimidating. We explore what actually happens during a home visit, why your support network matters so much, and how social workers help match you with the right type of fostering opportunity - whether that's short-term placements, long-term care, or fostering to adopt.

Perhaps most importantly, we highlight that fostering assessment is a two-way conversation. It's as much about you understanding the realities of caring for children from the care system as it is about us understanding your motivation and circumstances. The journey to becoming a foster carer should feel informative and empowering rather than overwhelming.

To hear more from Ben, visit https://www.buzzsprout.com/2224608/episodes/13498142-navigating-the-fostering-assessment-process-with-ben-rice

Ready to take the first step? The children who need stable, loving homes are waiting. Search for Barnardo's online or follow the link in our program description to learn more about fostering with us.

Learn more about fostering and adoption with Barnardo’s:
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/fostering-and-adoption

To arrange a no-strings call visit
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/foster/register-to-foster

To ask a question, give us some feedback or make a topic request, email Ness at: vanessa.haynes@barnardos.org.uk

Changing childhoods, changing lives.

This episode we meet Lee and Bobby, two dads who have adopted two brothers through Barnardo's in the South East.

They share their inspiring journey, from navigating the adoption to embracing the chaos that came with welcoming their two boys during lockdown.

We discuss:
• Choosing Barnardo's
• The significance of LGBT+ representation in adoption
• Navigating the assessment process and overcoming personal hurdles
• Developing bonds
• Therapeutic parenting techniques
• Contact with birth family
• Tips and encouragement for future adoptive parents

Join us for this special episode marking LGBT+ Foster and Adoption Week 2025

Image credit: Ashton Bingham, Unsplash

Learn more about fostering and adoption with Barnardo’s:
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/fostering-and-adoption

To arrange a no-strings call visit
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/foster/register-to-foster

To ask a question, give us some feedback or make a topic request, email Ness at: vanessa.haynes@barnardos.org.uk

Changing childhoods, changing lives.

Barnardo's Fostering and Adoption NI, aka BFANI, is marking its 45th anniversary this year and so we decided to uncover BFANI's origins story and meet the person who is responsible for getting it all started in NI.

Lynda Wilson's journey from a senior social worker in 1978 to the founder of Barnardo's Fostering in Northern Ireland is a testament to her passion and innovation in child welfare. A dissatisfaction with the existing system, and a poignant story of a young boy looking for a suitable home, sparked the first professional foster care project in the region, Barnardo's Fostering NI. Lynda reflects back on her career, the families, the children...and the rabbit...who found their way to her office.

Helen Browne, the head of Barnardo's Fostering and Adoption NI today joins us to shed light on the current challenges and hopes in Northern Ireland's fostering landscape. We discuss how fee-paying fostering has evolved from a novel concept to a crucial support mechanism. And we explore the unprecedented need for foster carers and the challenges we face in our ongoing quest to support children and young people.

Learn more about fostering and adoption with Barnardo’s:
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/fostering-and-adoption

To arrange a no-strings call visit
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/foster/register-to-foster

To ask a question, give us some feedback or make a topic request, email Ness at: vanessa.haynes@barnardos.org.uk

Changing childhoods, changing lives.

Christmas may be 'the most wonderful time of the year' but we can all agree most families will face a few ups and downs during the festive season. But what might that look like if you're also fostering a child who might have very mixed feelings about the season?

In this episode we chat to our foster carer, Marcy, as she shares her personal story of getting her foster child through the holidays and sheds light on the importance of managing expectations, the importance of consistency and finding ways to allow children to process feelings and regulate themselves during the Christmas period.

Join us as we explore the delicate balance between celebrating family traditions and catering to the emotional needs of foster children during this busy time of year.

Learn more about fostering and adoption with Barnardo’s:
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/fostering-and-adoption

To arrange a no-strings call visit
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/foster/register-to-foster

To ask a question, give us some feedback or make a topic request, email Ness at: vanessa.haynes@barnardos.org.uk

Changing childhoods, changing lives.