I was more nervous to tell people at work I was autistic than I was coming out bisexual. That's not a punchline. It tells you something about how similar these two journeys actually are.

In this episode Brett shares how coming out as bisexual in his 30s and getting a late AuDHD diagnosis a few years later followed the same emotional architecture — recontextualizing your entire life, grieving the person you thought you were, and slowly learning to stop masking.

What made both take so long? Alexithymia and delayed processing made it hard to understand his own feelings. Growing up in a high control religion made those feelings feel dangerous. And high masking kept both identities hidden — even from himself.

If you came out late, got diagnosed late, or both I'd love to hear your story.

Topics covered: neuroqueer identity, high masking, Alexithymia, coming out in your 30s, late AuDHD diagnosis, workplace safety, the grief of late discovery, and why unmasking and coming out feel like the same thing.

Find Brett's Drains & Sparks workbook and coaching at payhip.com/audhdboss.

In this episode:

• Why high masking kept Brett in the closet — and later kept his AuDHD diagnosis hidden too
• How Alexithymia and delayed processing made it hard to understand his own feelings
• Why workplace safety was the trigger that finally let him unmask
• The grief that comes with both late coming out and late diagnosis — and where they differ
• Why "people who aren't don't spend all that time wondering if they are" applies to both sexuality and neurotype

Resources mentioned:

• Drains & Sparks Workbook: payhip.com/audhdboss

"Don't be too good at your job." That line from Dr. Bowen Marshall hit nearly a million views on Instagram. So we came back to respond to your comments.

For neurodivergent professionals, overperforming isn't just exhausting. It sets a trap — a higher bar every annual review, burnout that builds without a clear cause, and a workplace that stops taking your limitations seriously because you look too capable to need support.

In this episode Brett and Dr. Bowen Marshall go through the comments from that viral moment and get into what's actually driving it.

They cover the PIE model and why 70% of your career has nothing to do with your actual work. The difference between a mentor and a sponsor — and why neurodivergent professionals almost always get one but not the other. Why over-performing makes raises harder, not easier. What to do when your boss says nothing is coming off your plate. And the disability catch-22: when you're too competent, your limitations stop being believed.

About Dr. Bowen Tyler Marshall:

Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development.

As part of his work, he helps neurodivergents navigate the complexity of career demands helping ADHDers, AuDHders and Autistics find and create systems, workflows, and leadership styles that help them succeed and thrive at work and life.

Connect with Bowen here:

Substack: https://drbotyler.substack.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbotyler/?hl=enTiktok: https://tiktok.com/@DrbotylerYouTube: https://youtube.com/@www.youtube.com/ ⁨@DrBoTyler⁩

About Brett | AuDHD BossI'm Brett — AuDHD, late diagnosed, and a former corporate leader with 12 years of leadership training and experience. I offer 1:1 coaching and neuro-inclusive workplace training for individuals and organizations.******************************RESOURCES & LINKS🛒 Drains & Sparks — AuDHD Workplace Workbook for Neurodivergent ProfessionalsBundle (workbook + 45-min coaching video) → https://payhip.com/audhdbossWorkbook only → https://payhip.com/audhdbossWORK WITH BRETT1:1 coaching for autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD professionals navigating corporate environmentsCorporate training, manager workshops, and organizational licensing for neuro-inclusive teams👉 audhdboss.com | Brett@audhdboss.com

A new national survey from NEXT for AUTISM puts hard data on what autistic and AuDHD employees have been describing for years — and the findings challenge most of what workplaces assume about disclosure, accommodations, and what actually drives retention.

I sat down with Candi Weaver-Dowds, Senior Manager of Strategic Initiatives at NEXT for AUTISM and the lead on this research, and Abigayle Jayroe, SVP of Strategic Operations, to walk through the data and what employers need to do differently.

We cover:

• Why 79% of autistic employees describe masking and emotional exhaustion as a workplace challenge — and what that costs

• The 73% disclosure rate, and why most went to their direct manager rather than HR

• Why nearly 7 in 10 autistic employees are building their own support systems outside of work

• What the data shows about autistic women carrying a disproportionate burden

• Why AuDHD employees — 40% of the sample — may be the largest and most strained subgroup in the autistic workforce

About the report Inside the Autistic Workforce: A National Survey of Autistic Employees on Their Workplace Experience — and What Employers Need to Know.

Completed in 2026, this mixed-methods study was developed and led by NEXT for AUTISM, in partnership with Sago, a global research firm, and funded by the Anita Bhatia Foundation for Tomorrow. Read the full report: https://nextforautism.org/inside-the-autistic-workplace/

Chapters

00:00 What the data finally proves

02:12 The strengths-based research approach

03:00 High job satisfaction, hidden cost

04:22 Masking is a second job running in the background 06:06 Why the manager relationship matters most

07:29 What 73% disclosure really means

10:09 The accommodations gap 11:34 Building support outside of work

12:46 The disproportionate burden on autistic women

14:13 Late diagnosis and the workplace

15:21 AuDHD: two operating systems competing

17:47 What workplaces need to do differently

20:27 The neurodivergent manager effect

20:47 Autistic feedback as operational intelligence

23:37 The report, the grants program, and how to take action

About AuDHD Boss

I'm Brett Whitmarsh — late-diagnosed AuDHD, former corporate people manager, and host of AuDHD Boss. This show is about what work actually looks like for neurodivergent professionals, and what managers, HR teams, and leaders need to understand to stop losing this talent.

Free Accommodations Prep Guide: https://payhip.com/b/j0rvk

Work with me or book a corporate training: https://audhdboss.com

Most workplace advice was built for neurotypical brains. Dr. Ludmila Praslova's The Canary Code was built for the rest of us.

Brett sits down with Dr. Praslova — organizational psychologist, Vanguard University professor, 2025 Thinkers50 Talent Award winner, and the first person to publish in Harvard Business Review from an autistic perspective. Her book reframes the coal-mine metaphor through what we now understand about neurodivergent brains. The canary isn't the victim of the story. The canary is the employee whose biology lets them sense problems first. Neurodivergent people — those of us with autism, ADHD, AuDHD, dyslexia, Tourette's, and other ways of processing the world — are playing that role in modern workplaces. We notice broken workflows, toxic culture, and ethical drift before anyone else does. Most organizations treat the signal as the problem.

This conversation covers what to do instead — the six principles of The Canary Code, the Platinum Rule, the derailers that quietly kill neurodiversity work, and how to navigate a workplace that isn't ready to change yet.

Get the book: https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9798890571601

Connect with Dr. Praslova: thecanarycode.com

Chapters

(00:00) Introduction

(02:38) The Real History of Canaries in Coal Mines

(04:24) Why Neurodivergent Brains Sense Toxicity First

(05:19) "Sensitive Does Not Mean Broken"

(06:37) The Six Principles of The Canary Code

(09:53) The Platinum Rule and Holistic Belonging

(13:19) Why Common Sense Isn't Common Practice

(16:48) Derailers That Kill Neurodiversity Work

(19:00) Navigating Managers Without Burning Out

(25:09) Why We Need More Neurodivergent Leaders

(25:56) Where to Find The Canary Code

If you're an HR or L&D leader interested in bringing this work into your organization, I offer corporate training and consulting. Email brett@audhdboss.com.

Getting a diagnosis as an adult can feel like an answer. Then you're sitting with that information, years into a career, with no real roadmap for what comes next. You don't know what you need. You don't know how to ask for it. And you're not sure whether telling your employer is going to help you or hurt you.

Brett continues his conversation with Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD — licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. Dr. Marshall works with ADHDers, AuDHDers, and Autistics to help them build the systems, workflows, and strategies that let them thrive at work and in life.

This episode gets into what late diagnosis actually looks like from a therapeutic perspective — why so many late-diagnosed adults don't yet know what they need even after getting a diagnosis, and how burnout accumulates when you've spent years running your nervous system without the right supports in place.

They also cover the disclosure decision directly. Not a simple yes or no, but a real framework for thinking through who benefits, what the risks are, and how to read your specific workplace before making a call that has actual career consequences.

Dr. Marshall closes with something worth sitting with: rejection is protection.

This is Part 2 of a two-part conversation. Part 1 covers the AuDHD leadership trap, unspoken corporate rules, and the real difference between masking and code switching. Linked below.

Connect with Dr. Bowen Marshall:

Substack: https://substack.com/@bowentylermarshallTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbotyler https://www.YouTube.com/ @DrBoTyler Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Drbotyler

Making friends as a neurodivergent adult is harder than anyone tells you — and there are real, brain-based reasons why. This isn't a willpower problem or a personality flaw. It's a wiring difference that nobody ever explained to most of us.

Caroline Maguire is a social-emotional learning expert, TEDx speaker, and neurodivergent person herself — ADHD, dyslexia, and learning disabilities. Her new book, Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults, is the practical, science-backed guide most of us needed years ago.

This is Part 1 of our conversation — the personal side. We get into why friendship feels so unintuitive for ND brains, the mindsets that quietly sabotage your connections before you realize it, what flooding and anxious overcorrection actually look like in practice, and how to stop masking your way into rooms that will never be right for you.

Part 2 — workplace friendships, trust, and navigating ND social dynamics on the job — drops next week.

What we cover:

• Why the "friendship should be easy" myth hits differently when you're late-diagnosed
• How your past experiences are secretly running your social life right now
• Finding what actually fills your connection cup — and stopping what doesn't
• Masking vs. authentic connection, and why masking costs you the friendships you want
• Flooding, triggers, and the "writing a story" spiral after a social event
• Anxious overcorrection — why we send 45 texts explaining the thing
• People pleasing, rushing in, and the fortress mindset

📖 Get Caroline's book: https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781538773086z

Getting promoted because you're good at your job is the easy part. Most AuDHD professionals find out quickly that the role they were promoted into requires skills nobody taught them and nobody mentioned were part of the deal.

Brett sits down with Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. Dr. Marshall works with ADHDers, AuDHDers, and Autistics to help them build systems, workflows, and leadership approaches that work for their brains at work and in life.

The conversation starts where a lot of AuDHD careers start to get complicated: outperforming everyone around you, getting promoted because of it, and then discovering that managing people is a completely different job than doing the work. Dr. Marshall introduces a Harvard Business Review leadership framework that describes this pattern specifically. From there they get into the unwritten rules most corporate environments run on, how warmth and competence function as the two factors that shape how you're perceived at work, and what happens when you're four steps ahead of the room and keep getting dismissed for it.

The conversation closes on a distinction worth understanding clearly: the difference between masking and code switching. Most people treat these as the same thing. They aren't, and the difference matters when you're trying to figure out where your energy is actually going.

This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation. Part 2 covers late diagnosis, burnout, and the decision of whether to disclose your diagnosis at work.

Connect with Dr. Bowen Marshall:

Substack: https://substack.com/@bowentylermarshallTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbotyler YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrBoTylerInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/Drbotyler

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

02:33 Technical skill vs. leadership skill

03:55 The Pacesetter Leadership Style

06:35 From expert to teacher

07:48 "Don't be too good at your job"

09:00 Unspoken corporate rules

11:59 Warmth and competence

12:42 The Cassandra Effect

15:03 Calibrating what you share at work

16:13 Masking vs. code switching

19:36 Companies and neurodivergent brains

20:56 Burnout and entrepreneurship

ABOUT AUDHD BOSS:AuDHD Boss is Brett Whitmarsh's channel covering ADHD and Autism in the workplace. Brett has over 12 years of leadership experience and a formal diagnosis of ADHD and Autism.Substack: https://substack.com/@brettwhitmarshWebsite: https://audhdboss.com

Most neurodivergent employees don't know what accommodations they can ask for — and without that, the process stalls before it starts.

In this episode, I walk through the 10 most commonly requested AuDHD workplace accommodations according to Job Accommodation Network data, with the exact functional limitation language and scripting you can adapt for your own request. Each accommodation includes the framing the JAN recommends, plus real-world context from someone who spent over 12 years in corporate leadership — including as a VP — before their own late ADHD and autism diagnosis.

We cover quiet workspaces, noise-canceling headphones, remote work, written follow-up after verbal instructions, flexible scheduling, structured check-ins, structured breaks, advance notice of changes, assistive technology, and neurodiversity coaching through an EAP. For every one, you'll hear why it works and exactly how to say it.

Free resource: The AuDHD Accommodations Prep Guide — Know What to Ask For and How to Say It is linked below. payhip.com/b/j0rvk