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All Things Conflict

All Things Conflict

By: Maria Arpa MBE
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Summary

 Who doesn't have conflict in their lives? Whether at work, at home or somewhere out in the world we are all affected by conflict even when it is indirect. The impact of poorly managed conflict can devastate lives. With 30 years’ experience mediating conflict and training peacemakers, Maria has held people’s hearts through everything from workplace hostility, board room battles, belligerent teenagers, separated parents at loggerheads to neighbours at war, street gang rivalries, threats to life and business deals gone wrong. In this podcast Maria lifts the lid on why we fight and how we can resolve conflict and design it out of our lives. Maria’s mission is to reduce unnecessary human suffering through conscious awareness, facilitated dialogue and trauma healing, using her communications tool, the Dialogue Road Map. Economics Management Management & Leadership Parenting & Families Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • The Bridge to Impact: Transitioning from Corporate Success to Social Value

    The Bridge to Impact: Transitioning from Corporate Success to Social Value
    May 12 2026
    In this episode of All Things Conflict - Justice Redesigned, Maria sits down with Andrea Gamson, a "force of nature" in the world of social impact. Andrea is the founder of Social Impact Support and the author of Social Starters, a book dedicated to helping professionals bridge the gap between corporate success and a life of meaning. Andrea shares her personal "12-year DIY career transition," moving from corporate media sales to leading global volunteering programs and sustainability consultancies. They discuss the "icky" feeling of being successful yet unfulfilled, the systemic "wicked problems" that keep our economy imbalanced, and how to use "active hope" to make a sustainable contribution to society without abandoning your existing life. Key Takeaways The Bridge to Purpose: Many professionals feel trapped in senior roles; Andrea acts as the "bridge" to help them translate corporate skills into social value. Marginalized Leadership: Andrea specifically supports "lived experience" founders—those who have experienced social issues firsthand—as they are often the most overlooked by traditional investment. The 6 Ps of Purpose: A look at the six-part framework from Andrea's book, starting with "Self" to understand who you are before deciding where you are going. Regenerative Economics: A discussion on the "Gaia theory" and moving toward a regenerative economy that redresses the imbalances created since the Industrial Revolution. Active Hope over Despair: How to manage the overwhelm of global challenges by finding the "one thing" you can do that is sustainable for you. The Relationship Audit: Based on the principle that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, Andrea explains why auditing your inner circle is vital for career change. Systemic Design: Andrea explores whether our current systems are "broken" or working exactly as they were artfully designed—concluding they are "wicked problems" that require a new generation of thinking. Key Timestamps 00:00 – Meet Andrea Gamson: The force of nature in social impact. 06:26 – The 12-Year DIY Transition: Why charities wouldn't interview a media exec. 12:38 – Regenerative Business: Moving beyond the legacy of the Industrial Revolution. 17:47 – Internal Conflict: Listening to the "truth" within yourself. 20:42 – The Method: 30 assignments and the 6 Ps of Purpose. 23:15 – Wicked Problems: Why our current economic systems are a "higgledy-piggledy mess". 29:17 – The 5-Person Rule: Choosing who to spend time with to accelerate change. Andrea Gamson Links https://uk.linkedin.com/in/andreagamson https://www.instagram.com/andreagamson/ https://socialimpact.support/ Social Links ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.workplacehuddle.com⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠ HOST BIO Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM). Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/⁠⁠⁠
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    33 mins
  • The Internal Plumbing: Resetting Toxic Organizations and Families

    The Internal Plumbing: Resetting Toxic Organizations and Families
    May 5 2026
    In this solo episode of All Things Conflict, Maria explores the hidden dynamics of power and control within our most important communities. Using the vivid metaphor of "internal plumbing," Maria explains how failing to manage conflict is like building a house without a sewage system—eventually, the waste will come up through the floorboards. Maria breaks down the toxicity of hierarchical "power over" systems and advocates for a shift toward "power with," where trust and mutuality allow for authentic resolution. She also introduces the transformative concept of "surrender"—not as an act of weakness, but as a path to finding inner power and unleashing the frequency of love through the Dialogue Roadmap. Key Takeaways The Plumbing of Conflict: Most organizations focus on the "sinks and taps" (external appearance) but lack the "sewage system" (conflict management) to handle the inevitable waste of human friction. Listening at Every Level: Effective intervention requires an "innocent" starting point that assumes nothing and listens to the experience of people on the ground floor rather than just senior management. The Toxic "Power Over" Model: Hierarchical power is often used to manipulate or suppress energy, leading to physical and mental health issues as that suppressed energy eventually "leaks out". The Shift to "Power With": By moving away from control, leaders can foster an environment of safety and authenticity, finally discovering if they can be trusted and loved for who they are. The True Meaning of Surrender: Surrendering is not about becoming subservient; it is about surrendering to one's own inner light and radiating love rather than needing to control others. The Dialogue Roadmap: A structured approach to deep dialogue that moves communities from adversarial, win-lose mentalities to creative, heart-to-heart collaboration. Hierarchy by Consent: While responsibilities vary, a healthy community operates on the understanding that hierarchy should be established by mutual consent rather than forced compliance. Key Timestamps 00:00 – Introduction 04:15 – The Problem with Predetermined Processes: Why Control Fails 07:42 – "Power Over": Why Toxic Hierarchy Ruins Relationships 11:10 – The Shift to "Power With": Trust, Safety, and Authenticity 14:55 – Defining Surrender: Accessing Your Inner Power 19:30 – The Dialogue Roadmap: Moving from Right/Wrong to Heart/Heart 23:45 – Hierarchy by Consent and Informal Dialogue Processes Social Links ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.workplacehuddle.com⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ HOST BIO Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM). Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/⁠⁠
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    20 mins
  • How to Navigate Toxic Relationships! Understanding Narcissism and Toxic Entanglements

    How to Navigate Toxic Relationships! Understanding Narcissism and Toxic Entanglements
    Apr 28 2026
    In this deeply personal and reflective solo episode of All Things Conflict - Justice Redesigned, Maria dives into one of the most discussed yet misunderstood topics in modern relationships: the narcissistic personality. Moving beyond the viral labels found on social media, Maria explores the underlying trauma and "survival mode" that drives narcissistic behavior and, more importantly, how we co-create these toxic dynamics. Maria shares her own experiences with "mind control" and losing her inner compass, detailing the stages of a dysfunctional relationship—from the high of "love bombing" to the confusion of gaslighting. This episode isn't just a critique of the other person; it is an invitation to look inward, rebuild self-validity, and assemble a "Board of Advisors" to navigate the journey back to love and sanity. Key Takeaways The Labeling Trap: While "narcissist" is often used as shorthand for anyone who disagrees with us, Maria explains that true narcissism often stems from a person being so deeply in survival mode that they literally cannot see anyone else’s needs. Maladaption and Trauma: Behaviours that walk over boundaries are usually the result of early childhood trauma or a lack of love, leading individuals to believe negative attention is better than no attention at all. Stages of Entanglement: - Love Bombing: The initial phase of excessive charm and attention that acts like a grooming process. - The Shift: When adoration turns into criticism, volatile tantrums, and being placed under a microscope. - The Microscope: How we become "addicted" to the dream of what the relationship used to be, trying to change ourselves to win back the initial love. Waking Up to Agency: Once you realize a relationship is toxic, Maria argues that every day you spend without a plan to leave is a day you are "doing it to yourself". The Board of Advisors: Inspired by a project in New York, Maria suggests appointing five people who are not your friends to give you honest, challenging, and objective advice. Reclaiming Validity: Recognizing that your feelings are your own individual response to a stimulus and that nobody can "make" you feel anything unless you give up your power. Timestamps 00:00 – Beyond the Label: What is a narcissist? 03:45 – Survival Mode: Why they can’t see your pain. 07:20 – The Love Bombing Phase: Why we fall for the charm. 12:15 – Red Flags: The subtle moments we ignore. 18:40 – Gaslighting and the "Microscope" of criticism. 25:30 – How to build your personal "Board of Advisors." 31:10 – The journey back to self-validity and love. Social Links ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.workplacehuddle.com⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ HOST BIO Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM). Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/⁠⁠
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    27 mins
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