If you keep asking yourself “What am I doing wrong?” — this episode is for you.

Most people relapse dozens of times before they actually get it right.

And if that’s you, I know how exhausting that cycle is.

But here’s the truth: There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not that you don’t want it badly enough.

It’s that the answer you need isn’t about actions and distractions.

It’s about the mindset shifts that create real, lasting change.

Today, I’m giving you the 6 non-negotiables that separate people who actually change from people who keep starting over.

This isn’t a checklist. This isn’t about doing more things.

This is about shifting how you think, how you show up, and who you become.

These 6 principles apply to recovery — but they also apply to life. Career. Relationships. Health. Any major transformation.

This is your personal code of conduct for real change.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

– 2:43: Why discomfort doesn’t mean bad — it just means you’re working a new muscle

– 5:07: The real sacrifices recovery requires (and the ones you conveniently forget you already made)

– 7:11: How to stop controlling what other people think and start prioritizing what you know

– 9:17: Why brutal honesty is the only way forward — and how ego keeps you stuck

– 10:53: What willingness actually looks like (hint: your feelings can’t run the show)

– 13:15: Why you have to grow the fuck up — whether you feel like it or not

– 14:00: The bear analogy that will change how you think about your alcoholism

Listen in and decide: Are you ready to stop doing busy work and start doing the real work? Because that’s where actual change happens.

LINKS MENTIONED:

– Recovery Starter Kit

– Book a Free Consultation Call: addictionunlimited.com/call

– Related Episode: Why You’re Sober But Still Have the Same Problems

– Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/addictionunlimited

The 4-Stage Recovery Roadmap and What to Work on at Each Stage

If you’re feeling stuck or confused about where you are in your sobriety and what you should actually be working on, this episode is for you.

I see it all the time: people trying to fix everything at once, or trying to skip ahead to the deep emotional work when they haven’t even built a stable foundation yet.

And then they relapse. Or they burn out. Or they just stay stuck in the same patterns.

Today, I’m breaking down the four stages of recovery—what you should be focusing on at each stage, and why you can’t skip ahead.

Here’s the thing: the timelines I’m giving you are general guidelines. They’re not rules.

For me, I spent way more time in Stage 2. I needed that time. But Stage 3 went faster for me because I loved that part of my process —it was hands down my favorite part of the steps.

So don’t get hung up on the timeline.

What matters is that you’re doing the work required in each stage before you move on to the next one. You get out of this exactly what you put into it.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

–> 3:17: What Stage 1 actually looks like—and why the only goal is “don’t drink today”

–> 6:03: How to navigate Stage 2 when you’re asking “Who am I without alcohol?”

–> 11:05: Why Stage 3 is about rebuilding what matters and letting go of what doesn’t

–> 14:11: What it means to shift from surviving to thriving in Stage 4

–> 16:50: Why you absolutely cannot skip stages—and what happens when you try

Listen in and figure out where you are right now. Then focus on the work that actually matters at this stage—so you can build a life so powerful, so clear, so good that you’ll never want to leave it.

LINKS MENTIONED:

• Recovery Starter Kit
• Book a Free Consultation Call: addictionunlimited.com/call
• Episode 421 – Overwhelmed by Sobriety Advice, Here’s How to Actually Start
• Cozy Earth – Use code ANGELA for 20% off

You know what’s keeping you from getting sober? All the advice telling you how to get sober.

Everyone’s got a different rulebook.

The old-timers say meetings every day, get a sponsor immediately, work the steps to a tee.

People like me say do it your way—you don’t have to follow the doctrine perfectly.

And newer recovery voices are teaching completely different avenues to recovery.

And you’re stuck in the middle, just trying to figure out how to get through today without a drink, paralyzed by all these options, wondering which path is “right.”

Here’s the truth nobody’s telling you: There is no wrong way.

I’m giving you the three universal foundations that every strong sobriety is built on, and showing you how to stop waiting for permission and just start.

You’ll learn:

• Why success rates prove the program doesn’t decide—YOU do (and what recent research actually shows)
• The three universal foundations every strong sobriety is built on
• How to pick your path when everyone’s telling you something different
• What to actually DO today to start building your sobriety

Remember, a program doesn’t determine your success. You do.

A program doesn’t work or not work.

YOU work. YOU show up, do the things, follow guidance… or you don’t.

Your success is your decision.

In this episode, I’m cutting through all the noise and breaking down exactly what you need to start your recovery journey today—no matter which path or program you choose.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EISODE

Free Download: Daily Plan

→ Recovery Starter Kit
Step-by-step lessons, worksheets, checklists, and conversation starters for the hard talks. Walks you through building the three foundations with actual tools, not just concepts.

Book a Call
→ addictionunlimited.com/call
Not sure where you are or what level of support you need? Let’s talk. We’ll figure out what’s the right fit for you right now.

Related Episode:
Episode 418: You’re Not Doing the Work, You’re Just Watching Other People Do It