I broke 5 minutes in the mile - and it's not how I remember it. Memory is such a crazy thing that changes over time. We amplify some parts of our memory and dull others to fit the image we want to see. That's what I did, but I have it on video to compare to my memory and it's wild to see. Video is linked here and it's helpful to watch to follow along with this episode!

Key Takeaways:

[0:00] Your memories change over time

[2:11] Watching the video of me breaking 5 minutes in the mile

[3:40] Going from asthmatic to realizing my potential

[4:34] Finding out women couldn't get track scholarships

[5:42] The backlash from Title IX

[8:32] The first lap was how I remember, but the second…

[10:34] Going head to head and winning

[12:54] I never realized Kathy had a whole crowd cheering for her

[14:26] Girls track teams were small, but they didn't have opportunities before this

[18:00] More girls than boys do track now

[20:41] Girls support each other in sports - even as competitors

[21:56] Certain girls got overshadowed by champions

[23:28] I would love to have an episode with the women in this race

Resources:

• Video of Me Breaking 5 Minutes!

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I feel like everywhere I look now I see instances of secret keeping, of being told to be quiet, of lying for others. So when I listened to a podcast episode where a woman's entire life she was told to keep a secret inside of her? That hit my soul. Which is also why I was so delighted when Jennifer chatted with me and got into how it impacts a person when they're constantly told to be quiet.

Key Takeaways:

[0:00] The podcast that is all about keeping secrets

[6:33] My interview on The Human Experience

Resources:

• Family Secrets Podcast

• The Human Experience

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Running was a part of my life for years and then… it was gone. I've had to rebuild my life piece by piece and in the process I've realized I need to get back into running. It's the sport that taught me to love my body and more importantly gave me a community that understood the struggles and triumphs of running.

Key Takeaways:

[3:11] Running allowed me to love my body

[5:11] The sexual abuse that's prevelant to elite athletes

[7:42] Being isolated from the running community

[10:57] Thinking back to why I didn't fight for myself

[12:55] Running is still painful for me, but I want it to be a bigger part of my life

[16:46] If you're a past runner of mine, please message me

[17:55] I've been really successful at coaching and want to continue

[22:04] I'm re-establishing a 5K

Resources:

• The Silence of Great Distance

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I'm quiet. I freeze. I don't say no. My consent is violated again and again by numerous people in different situations that still follow me today. I did a deep dive on the types of consent, what it actually means, and why the meaning of it gets tricky for people. In this episode, I explore the different types of consent and how those have gone wrong in my life.

Key Takeaways:

[0:00] Saying the quiet part out loud and sexual assault

[4:11] I don't defend myself or set boundaries

[5:47] Consent: voluntary, informed, mutual, respect personal boundaries

[7:35] Consent can't be given under the influence

[9:34] I'm always cleaning up after others

[10:40] Expressed consent: an enthusiastic yes

[12:07] Implied consent can be dangerous

[12:54] Unanimous consent in politics

[14:11] My childhood abuse set my foundation for consent

[15:37] Consent violations in my friendships

[26:31] Molly's death - I didn't listen to my gut, I was just quiet

[28:50] What are the rights of marginalized communities?

[29:57] How do you give consent?

Resources:

• The Cookie Podcast Episode

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The shouting starts, voices overlapping, and I freeze. I stay quiet hoping not to be noticed. Now, I'm having to unlearn that… A thousand tiny steps, right? It's easier to not say anything, to justify the abuse, to defend those that have hurt me, but repeating traumatic situations because it's familiar in my life can't continue forever. This is how I'm taking small steps towards healing.

Key Takeaways:

[0:00] Giving $13,000 in scholarships

[2:25] Cleaning out dance clothes

[3:41] People want to be seen and heard

[5:33] In conflict, I freeze up and become quiet

[7:58] Why do I defend those who have hurt me by hiding?

[10:28] Repeating the trauma that happened in my childhood

[15:07] Justifying the abuse to make it less painful

[16:14] Not standing up for myself when losing my job

[17:47] Not speaking up enough in the ER with Molly and taking settlement money

[20:01] What trauma bonding actually is and my experience with it

[24:06] I'm not perfect, but I've never hurt someone on purpose

[26:21] Being told I was complacent in my sexual abuse

[29:29] Starting a HYROX training program

Resources:

• Barb Fit

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I went to Molly's grave, but it's not the same anymore. I know that as time passes, others forget, but I never will. So, as I grapple with that, I reflect on the amazing people I got to see, what I'm planning to do next with the podcast, and just sitting in my grief.

Key Takeaways:

[0:00] I don't celebrate Mother's Days anymore

[2:50] The first Molly WOD not to be during death week

[4:54] Visiting Molly's gravestone and seeing Tim and Ricky

[7:53] Kenny didn't come visit Molly's grave

[9:46] Surround yourself with community in grief

[11:42] Keeping connected to the ones who have died

[12:54] Your grief does not define you

[14:23] Treat yourself like your best friend

[16:40] Reflect on how others treat you, reach out, and do not compare yourself

[18:25] Count your wins - yes, even the small ones

[19:17] Checking in on Gracie and the people who visited Molly's grave

[21:11] Finding a sign of Molly in the air

[22:44] Season 13 is next and then… who knows?

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Grab a baguette or an Oreo Coolatta, and find out what Gracie has been up to for 3 months in France as I recount our family's visit to France to see Gracie. From Gracie making a lot of supportive friends from all over the world to Jack eating all the ice cream he possibly can, and talking about the fact that it's been 10 years since Molly died.

Key Takeaways:

[0:37] Gracie has lived in France for 3 months

[3:05] Public transportation is one of the biggest differences

[5:25] Food quality in France is superior to America

[7:56] Disneyland Paris is different to Disney World

[9:28] Not making a plan, just enjoying Paris at a slow pace

[10:38] Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower, and playing in the park

[14:51] Adventure Land, Spider Man, and not having a sense of urgency

[18:41] Gracie's friend showed us around Disney

[21:00] Jack was very excited to meet Queen Anna

[23:25] The Sports Bar is my favorite place to eat

[24:58] Gracie's friends, the entertainment industry, and being happy for each other

[29:23] Finding a CrossFit gym here has been important for community

[31:12] Being 10 years into losing Molly

[32:31] Markers of time feel weird

[34:11] I've found people who are okay with me talking about my grief

[35:44] Shifting to utilizing the loss instead of just missing her all the time

[36:25] MollyB camps coming up and try Dunkin for me

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