43. Should I open my relationship?
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In this episode of Trial & Error & Error, LJ and Ale unpack the truth behind open relationships and consensual non-monogamy. From definitions and common relationship styles to what the research says about satisfaction, jealousy, stigma, and mental health, they lay out the potential benefits and real risks so listeners can decide what fits their values.
In this episode, we cover:
- 💬 What an open relationship is (and what it is not)
- 🧩 Different types of consensual non-monogamy: swinging, polyamory, open relationships, and relationship anarchy
- 📊 What research says about relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction
- 🧠 Why jealousy still shows up, and how some couples manage it
- ⚠️ Common risks: unequal desire, boundary violations, and communication breakdowns
- 🧭 When opening a relationship might help, and when it can backfire
- 🛠️ A science-based approach to opening a relationship with clear boundaries and check-ins
✨ Listener takeaway: Open relationships are not a shortcut to fixing problems. They tend to amplify whatever is already present, so success depends on honesty, trust, and ongoing communication.
📚 REFERENCES (ACADEMIC & MEDIA)- Rubel, A. N., & Bogaert, A. F. (2016). Consensual nonmonogamy: Psychological well-being and relationship quality. Journal of Sex Research.
- Conley, T. D., et al. (2013). A critical examination of popular assumptions about the benefits and outcomes of monogamous relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Review.
- Moors, A. C., et al. (2017). Stigma toward consensual non-monogamy. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
- Sheff, E. (2014). The Polyamorists Next Door.
- Haupert, M. L., et al. (2017). Prevalence of experiences with consensual nonmonogamous relationships. Archives of Sexual Behavior.
- Podcast: Multiamory Podcast (relationship science & CNM communication)
- Podcast: Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin?
- YouTube: Talks by relationship therapist Esther Perel on modern intimacy
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