You know exactly how long you spend on Netflix. When did you last spend that same time on your actual life?

Most of us think we know what we value. Turns out most of us are wrong — and that gap between what we say we value and what we actually value is the source of almost everything that feels slightly off.

In this episode Holly walks you through the exact exercise that changed everything for her. Twenty minutes. One question. And something she wasn't expecting at the end of it — relief.

Download the free values exercise in the show notes and do it alongside the episode.

SHOW NOTES:

How long do you spend choosing something on Netflix? Now — when did you last spend that same time figuring out what you actually value? Yeah. That's what we thought.

00:00 — The Netflix question. How much time do you spend choosing what to watch vs thinking about what you actually value in your life? No judgment. Just a very good question.

01:30 — Welcome + show intro. WIP — Work In Progress. Reppin' — showing up for it anyway. Nobody is late here.

03:30 — The one thing nobody ever teaches you despite it being one of the single biggest predictors of life fulfillment. Your values. What you actually care about at the core of it all.

04:30 — What Holly said she valued vs what she actually valued — two completely different things. And that gap was the source of almost everything that wasn't working.

05:00 — Brené Brown: "You can't live into what you can't name or describe." Most of us are professing values we've never once tested against a real decision.

06:00 — What today is and what it isn't. One exercise. Twenty minutes. A compass — not a five year strategy.

06:30 — The house metaphor. Exterior — what you show the world. Interior — what you think you want. Foundations — your actual values. Most of us spend our lives renovating the exterior and never check the foundations.

10:00 — Holly's architecture story — gym goals, adventures, courses — adding rooms to a house built on partially the wrong foundations. And why freedom was the value she was trying to satisfy all along without knowing it.

14:00 — Holly's mum did this exercise in her 60s and came back genuinely surprised. If she hadn't been asked in six decades of living — why would any of us have been?

15:00 — The values head-to-head exercise walked through live. Step 1: circle everything that resonates from the list. Step 2: cut to your top 10. Step 3: head-to-head every value against every other value. The ones with the most marks are your actual values.

18:30 — Values change — and that's allowed. What mattered at 25 is different from what matters now. This exercise tells you where you actually are right now.

19:30 — The forced choice methodology — why listing values makes us perform our ideal self, but being forced to choose reveals the truth.

20:30 — What Holly felt when she finished the exercise. Not pride. Not excitement. Relief. Everything made sense. The unhappiness wasn't a personal failure. It was a values mismatch.

21:00 — Next episode: the permission you've been waiting for that was never coming. Eight minutes. Send it to a friend.

Download the free values exercise: Here

Join the community: wipit.beehiiv.com/subscribe

The question from this episode: Am I living according to what I actually value — or according to what I thought I was supposed to want?

Sources: Brené Brown — Dare to Lead (2018). Research professor, University of Houston. Shalom Schwartz — Theory of Basic Human Values (1992). Cross-cultural values research across 82 countries. Forced choice methodology — values research since the 1970s.

Connect:

Newsletter + values exercise: wipit.beehiiv.com/subscribe Instagram: @hh_squared

I'm Holly. Let's keep WIP'n & Reppin'.