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You're Not Listening
- What You're Missing and Why It Matters
- Narrated by: Kate Murphy
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
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You're Not Listening
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Summary
"How well we listen determines how we love, learn, and connect with one another, and in this moment when we need to hear and be heard more than ever, this thought-provoking and engaging book shows us how.” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times best-selling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone)
At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation.
On social media, we shape our personal narratives.
At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians.
We’re not listening.
And no one is listening to us.
Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here.
In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that's full of practical advice, You're Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain's Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.
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What listeners say about You're Not Listening
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- belkin
- 30-01-21
an ode to hearing and listening
So many people who want to be heard. So few of those who are genuinely willing to listen. Genuine listening is a commodity that is in short supply in today’s worĺd. This is why we are ready to pay for the privilege to be heard. We give our money to fraudsters, many times just because they listened to our stories. We give away loads of personal information to social networking sites because they give us the opportunity to be heard. We pay ever more to our psychologists and therapists, because hardly anyone wants to listen to us for free. So if you are a good listener, you can give people the thing they want most in life. We all want respect and the feeling of connection, of belonging. And that’s what being heard is all about.
I am not a good listener. This is the reason I picked up Kate Murphy’s book in the first place. Apart from arguing for the importance of listening as summarized above, Kate Murphy preaches the good news that basically anyone can become a better listener. So I am full of hope to learn to pay attention, to stop thinking about what I will say next, and to value the opportunity to learn something about the person I am talking to (after all, I already know about myself). And I do hope that from now on I will keep my phone muted and put away, preferably to another room, during family meals.
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