You Wanna Be on Top?
A Memoir of Makeovers, Manipulation, and Not Becoming America's Next Top Model
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You Wanna Be on Top?
Narrated by:
Sarah Hartshorne
Buy Now for £12.99
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Narrated by:
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Sarah Hartshorne
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By:
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Sarah Hartshorne
About this listen
“Juicy, nostalgic, entertaining, and disturbing, You Wanna Be on Top? is the America’s Next Top Model exposé I didn’t know I needed.”—Amanda Montell, New York Times bestselling author of Cultish
Tyra Banks’s America’s Next Top Model was a cultural phenomenon with more than six million weekly viewers at its peak. Over its fifteen-year run, the show captured the glitz of the early aughts as well as its most toxic attitudes—from the glamorous but often questionable photo shoots to the cutting feedback from its highly respected if out-of-touch judges. But as its fans have grown up and as the next generation discovers ANTM, they’ve also begun to reckon with the enduring ways that the show has affected their body image and self-esteem.
Sarah Hartshorne would have never guessed that her first foray into modeling would start with being blindfolded alongside three dozen other girls on a charter bus winding through Puerto Rico. In You Wanna Be On Top?, Cycle 9’s only plus-size contestant takes us into the heart of the unforgiving auditions; the labyrinthian cruise ship the girls weren’t allowed to enjoy; and, of course, the L.A. “model house” teeming with hidden cameras and elaborately constructed tensions. As the season unfolds and the producers’ interview questions about her weight and her opinions of the other girls become increasingly pointed, Hartshorne uncovers the destabilizing methods employed to film “reality.”
Drawing on her experience as well as interviews with other contestants and production crew, Hartshorne answers the questions you always wanted to ask: Why didn’t the house have a microwave or a dishwasher? Why did girls regularly faint during eliminations? Which judge was the meanest off camera? Why is it that the girls had their most meaningful conversations in closets? (Answer: It was the one place camera crews couldn’t fit.)
With tender honesty and sharp wit, Hartshorne dissects the iconic show with an unflinching gaze that refuses to smize.
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Critic reviews
“A delicious, hilariously relatable behind-the-scenes memoir. A page-turning lark turns into an internal (rather than external) makeover.”—Maria Bamford, New York Times bestselling author of Sure, I'll Join Your Cult
“Juicy, nostalgic, entertaining, and disturbing, You Wanna Be on Top? is the America’s Next Top Model exposé I didn’t know I needed. For any adolescent of the mid-aughts, this book is required reading.”—Amanda Montell, New York Times bestselling author of The Age of Magical Overthinking, Cultish, and Wordslut
“You Wanna Be On Top is a wild ride. Sarah Hartshorne’s journey from ‘plus-size model to plus-size person’ will make you laugh, move you to tears, and fill you with rage. This is an unflinching and fearless account of what it takes to make ‘good TV’ and find yourself again in the aftermath.”—Aubrey Gordon, New York Times bestselling author of You Just Need to Lose Weight
“You Wanna Be on Top? takes a frank and philosophical look at the chaos undergirding the production of America’s Next Top Model. Hartshorne is refreshingly candid about the poisonous dysfunction of the reality show world, but she never takes the easy way out by making her fellow competitors into caricatures or the crew members into villains. In her funny, thoughtful telling, the show comes alive in a whole new way.”—Rax King, author of Tacky
“Reading You Wanna Be on Top? is like listening to your most talented and humorous friend reveal an extraordinary secret about their lives. Hartshorne’s memoir is funny yet stealthily powerful and imparts a deep compassion for those who have to exist in a world that feels like it was not built for them.”—Youngmi Mayer, author of I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying
“Fans of America’s Next Top Model will appreciate this unvarnished peek behind the curtain. It’s equal parts upsetting and entertaining.”—Publishers Weekly
“You Wanna Be on Top? is wry and gossipy and fun, and Hartshorne is a great narrator.”—Lit Hub
“Juicy, nostalgic, entertaining, and disturbing, You Wanna Be on Top? is the America’s Next Top Model exposé I didn’t know I needed. For any adolescent of the mid-aughts, this book is required reading.”—Amanda Montell, New York Times bestselling author of The Age of Magical Overthinking, Cultish, and Wordslut
“You Wanna Be On Top is a wild ride. Sarah Hartshorne’s journey from ‘plus-size model to plus-size person’ will make you laugh, move you to tears, and fill you with rage. This is an unflinching and fearless account of what it takes to make ‘good TV’ and find yourself again in the aftermath.”—Aubrey Gordon, New York Times bestselling author of You Just Need to Lose Weight
“You Wanna Be on Top? takes a frank and philosophical look at the chaos undergirding the production of America’s Next Top Model. Hartshorne is refreshingly candid about the poisonous dysfunction of the reality show world, but she never takes the easy way out by making her fellow competitors into caricatures or the crew members into villains. In her funny, thoughtful telling, the show comes alive in a whole new way.”—Rax King, author of Tacky
“Reading You Wanna Be on Top? is like listening to your most talented and humorous friend reveal an extraordinary secret about their lives. Hartshorne’s memoir is funny yet stealthily powerful and imparts a deep compassion for those who have to exist in a world that feels like it was not built for them.”—Youngmi Mayer, author of I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying
“Fans of America’s Next Top Model will appreciate this unvarnished peek behind the curtain. It’s equal parts upsetting and entertaining.”—Publishers Weekly
“You Wanna Be on Top? is wry and gossipy and fun, and Hartshorne is a great narrator.”—Lit Hub
I came to this book with surprisingly little memory of that season. I watched Top Model as it aired, over a decade ago. Living outside the US now means there is no easy, legal way to revisit it; the show exists mostly as cultural residue, Tyra quotes and vague recollections.
Sarah is a great storyteller.
I listened to the audiobook, just over seven and a half hours long, and finished it in about three days because I kept finding excuses to press play. Sarah narrates it herself, and her stand up background shows immediately. The timing is precise; the delivery casual but deliberate; the jokes land cleanly. At times it feels less like an audiobook and more like a very long, very personal stand up set. I laughed out loud more than once.
But this is not just a funny book. That is where it gets interesting.
There is a recurring tension throughout the memoir: stories that are told as jokes, but which collapse into something much darker the moment you pause to examine them. Sarah even names this phenomenon herself. She talks about telling people “fun facts” about her life, only to be met with silence and the realisation that what she finds funny sounds tragic to everyone else. That exact dynamic plays out again and again in the book. You laugh, then you stop; you laugh again, a little more uneasily. The humour is not a shield so much as a coping mechanism.
Her insights into the behind the scenes mechanics of America’s Next Top Model are genuinely fascinating. Not scandal bait, not exaggerated outrage; just clear eyed descriptions of manipulation, narrative engineering, and how little control contestants actually had over their own images. The show is revealed as a machine that runs on pressure and confusion, and Sarah is very good at explaining how it feels to be inside it while still wanting, desperately, to succeed.
What makes the book work so well is Sarah herself. Her voice is specific, self aware, and generous. She does not present herself as flawless or as a victim saint; she presents herself as human. Anxious, ambitious, funny, stubborn. I found myself relating to her more than I expected, particularly in the way humour becomes a social survival strategy. By the end, I genuinely wished I could be friends with her.
This is, ultimately, a very easy recommendation. It is funny; it is uncomfortable; it is insightful; it moves quickly without feeling slight. You do not need to be a Top Model superfan to enjoy it, but if you are interested in the lore, the reality TV machinery, or what it costs to be shaped into a “character,” there is a lot here for you.
More than anything, it made me want more from Sarah Hartshorne. Another memoir, perhaps; but honestly, I would love to see her write fiction. I want to spend more time with her voice, her rhythms, her way of seeing the world.
Seven and a half hours well spent; a book that makes you laugh first, then think, then laugh again, a little differently.
Sarah needs to write more books
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Thank you Sarah!
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A harrowing yet humorous insight into the ANTM phenomenon
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