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Why Mummy Doesn’t Give a ****

By: Gill Sims
Narrated by: Gabrielle Glaister
Series: Why Mummy, Book 3
Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
5 out of 5 stars (120 ratings)

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Summary

Family begins with a capital eff.

'I’m wondering how many more f*cking "phases" I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me "it’s just a phase!" for the last 15 bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is "just a phase". Potty training and the associated accidents "is just a phase". The tantrums of the terrible twos are "just a phase". The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1 p.m. without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the dabbing, the weeks where apparently making them wear pants was akin to child torture. All "just phases"! When do the "phases" end, though? When?'

Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight - a dragon badger or a ninja horse - they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts - except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours. And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.

©2019 Gill Sims (P)2019 HarperCollins Publishers Limited

Critic reviews

“God, she’s funny.” (Jilly Cooper)

“Honest and very funny - it’s a tale that mums will identify with.” (The Sun)

“Sims’s latest offering is a hilarious follow-up to her best-selling debut...you’d be forgiven for thinking the blogger behind Peter and Jane couldn’t pull it off twice - but she has.” (The Sunday Post

What members say

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Highly Recommend

Absolutely ved it! Please write book 4. Everything mummy's should say but we never do.

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great book

i loved these books they are so funny gutted thay its finished fingers c4ossed she brings out another

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Another funny read

Just finished “Why Mummy doesn’t give a ***”. Another funny novella from Gill Sims. Not as funny as the first 2 - but still a very good read. Gill Sims tackled a few serious issues with mirth. Enjoyed the series immensely.

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HILARIOUS

This is hilarious, and can relate to it in many parts. Some sad bits, but belly aching funny, loved it.

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loved these three books.

felt part of the story. laughed cried. loved all three of them cant wait for the next

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Fantastic book. Enjoyed it from start to finish!

Great book. Found myself laughing out loud in the car. Really cheered me up. Would recommend x

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Brilliant! So relatable.. so funny!

Again fantastic narration. Funny relatable story. Easy to listen to. A real “beach” read. I painted the whole garage while listening and it wasn’t a chore.

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Hilarious and Heartwarming

Really enjoyed this and gutted it's ended. The language and tone used by Gill about the family and friends and their antics is brilliant.
Gabrielle did a great job of reading it with all the different characters along the chaotic way through Ellen's year.

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emotional rollercoaster

adore this book. heard them all. I laughed, cried, didn't want it to end! wonderful

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Well I hadn't seen that coming!

Very funny and enjoyable as well. surprising plot shift, but still the usual well developed characters we have grown to love and love to hate...

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  • Summer Layne
  • 11-07-19

Not At All As Entertaining As Her First Book

Gill Sims has jumped the shark with this book. It bears very little resemblance to Why Mummy Drinks. While that novel - her first - was really uproariously clever, funny, and populated by a variety of entertaining characters ... this one is simply one long, tedious bundle of complaints and negativity. Yes, there are laugh out loud moments that remind the reader of how hilarious Sims can be - but these are few and far between.

None of the characters are likable, and the daughter is particularly odious. Yet Sims justifies every obnoxious behavior as "typical teen" ... and spends far too much time rambling on and on as to why this behavior is to be expected. Underaged drinking, foul attitude, condescension ... it's all OK because, after all, teens are simply trying to sort out their lives. In one bizarre episode, she actually supplies her daughter and friends with multiple rounds of hard cider. Sims makes several off-putting and detailed allusions to the 13-yr-old son's masturbatory sessions. Please. No. Why?!

Finally, the behavior of the protagonist herself is absurd and off-putting.

The entire book is one scene after another of unlikable characters interacting unpleasantly, interspersed with the afore-mentioned rambles on reprehensible teen behavior that she considers age-appropriate.

Sims needs to stop here. This trilogy has overstayed its welcome.

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  • Kedalion
  • 06-07-19

I've never reviewed a book before, but....

I absolutely loved this story!! At one part, I laughed so hard, I shot tea out of my nose. I even cried once. This is my new favorite book!

0 of 1 people found this review helpful