What on Earth? cover art

What on Earth?

An Alien's Guide to Fixing Britain

 Preview

Get 30 days of Premium Plus free

£8.99/month after 30-day free trial. Cancel monthly.
Try for £0.00
More purchase options
Buy Now for £12.99

Buy Now for £12.99

About this listen

The much-needed manifesto by the Sanest Politician in the Entire Cosmos, from capping the price of croissants at £1 to taking over Downing Street.

Greetings, life-form! My name is Count Binface. I am an intergalactic space warrior, leader of the Recyclons and three-time British election veteran. And as part of my overarching mission to control the entire omniverse, I have come to conquer Britain.

It's not that I want to do this—you need me to. Because the one thing everyone can agree on right now is that Earth is in an absolute state. And of all its messed-up nations, the British are particularly deranged.

In this book, I share my story for the first time, my political beliefs and even the occasional recipe, in return for a reasonable—nay, bargain—amount of Earth currency.

I also provide an alien's-visor-view of your past, so that you can learn from past mistakes. This isn't the first potted history of Britain ever to be committed to print, but I can guarantee that compared to any others, mine will be the most accurate. If anyone cares to argue about that, which one of us has had access to a time machine?

So settle down, grab a beverage, and let's make your planet Count.

©2022 Jon Harvey (P)2022 Quercus Editions Limited Performing Arts Political Science Politics & Government Stand-up Shows
All stars
Most relevant
Brilliantly funny and narrated by the Great Count hisself, Highly recommended to all who needs a laugh

Out of this world

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Fun, intelligent and deftly delivered.

Genuinely agree that there is more sense here than in most political manifestos - would happily listen to much more

Excellent: sensible policies for a better quadrant

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Highly entertaining. Talks a lot of ridiculous sense. Fingers crossed for a Count Binface government!

Packed with jokes

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
The best political memoir ever!

Essential reading for the future of mankind!

Also, rather hilarious

Awesome!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I’m still waiting for the launch of Binder. Until then, no full review. Bloody 15 word minimum to leave a review.

Separating Out The Bins From The Trash

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
See more reviews