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Unconditional Parenting

Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason

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Unconditional Parenting

By: Alfie Kohn
Narrated by: Alfie Kohn
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About this listen

One basic need all children have, educator Alfie Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful and largely unknown research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.

More than just another book about discipline, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting - including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people.

©2005 Alfie Kohn (P)2016 Tantor Parenting & Families Relationships School-Age Children Teenagers Inspiring
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If you open your mind to the worldview of Alfie Kohn presented in this book then it will change your life! Or it has for me. Rather than suggesting a parenting methodology, this book presents a parenting philosophy. It will certainly be difficult to change my actions in accordance with my new beliefs about human cognition and behaviour, but I'm excited to try!

Thought provoking and uplifting

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Must read for every parent in the world!!
Realated so hard to everything in this book!

Amazing!

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This book is the real deal. It's progressive and challenging, but also one of the few parenting books that tells you the reasons, motivations and values behind it's arguments and suggestions. Let alone the tone of scientific research cited to bring home it's point. I've also listened to Punished by Rewards from the same author and would say that this one is even better. It has become my parenting ideal and I hope I come as close to it as possible. Enjoy! (4 points for story just because there isn't any)

By far the parenting book I agree most with

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I read “Continuum Concept” alongside this, and despite being from different cultural perspectives and timelines, the alignment is remarkable. What a fantastic and insightful book. Which makes so much sense! Will listen again and again.

Truly fantastic book

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A good read but implemented his ideas are less easy. I struggled with the boundaries with any type of consequence. It’s easy to listen to this and end up doing the permissive parenting approach. I fully agree with what he says but it took a few more similar style books to implement what he says.

Thought provoking

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