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This Is How It Always Is cover art

This Is How It Always Is

By: Laurie Frankel
Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
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Summary

The Reese Witherspoon x Hello Sunshine Book Club Pick.

A New York Times Audio best seller.

This is how a family keeps a secret...and how that secret ends up keeping them.

This is how a family lives happily ever after...until happily ever after becomes complicated.

This is how children change...and then change the world.

This is Claude. He's five years old, the youngest of five brothers, and loves peanut butter sandwiches. He also loves wearing a dress, and dreams of being a princess.

When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl.

Rosie and Penn want Claude to be whoever Claude wants to be. They're just not sure they're ready to share that with the world. Soon the entire family is keeping Claude's secret. Until one day it explodes.

Laurie Frankel's This Is How It Always Is is a novel about revelations, transformations, fairy tales, and family. And it's about the ways this is how it always is: change is always hard and miraculous and hard again, parenting is always a leap into the unknown with crossed fingers and full hearts, children grow but not always according to plan. And families with secrets don't get to keep them forever.

©2017 Laurie Frankel (P)2017 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

"A lively and fascinating story of a thoroughly modern family and the giant, multifaceted love that binds them.... Sparkles with wit and wisdom." (Maria Semple, best-selling author of Where'd You Go, Bernadette)

"An intelligent, life-affirming, emotionally charged story." (Prima)

"Every once in a while, I read a book that opens my eyes in a way I never expected." (Reese Witherspoon, Reese's Book Club x Hello Sunshine book pick)  

What listeners say about This Is How It Always Is

Average customer ratings
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I Really Liked This One

I found this to be a well written book that looked at a very difficult issue from all angles, with intelligence and sensitivity.

It made me smile and it made me sad. It made me question how I would have felt and how I would have dealt with it if one of my children had presented me with the issue that Claude presented his parents with. I particularly liked it when the book touched on how Claude's brothers were affected by his behaviour and the strain of having to keep the secret.

If you're looking for a book that's different and that will make you question yourself and the world you live in then pick this one. It's very well read too. I don't give 5 stars lightly but I consider that this one really deserves them.

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Wonderful

Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Thought provoking and emotional. Very well done on a tricky subject. Extremely well written.

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1 person found this helpful

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Wonderful story, but...

I loved, loved this story.. I loved how honest and truthful it was, in that there are no definitive answers.
...however, I did have an issue with the performance. It was simply too fast, and I say that as a fast talker. Slowing it down to .75 made it monotone, but at standard speed I found myself having to actively concentrate, and twice I actually gave up. The only thing drawing me back was the plot, otherwise the speed was enough of a put-off to desist altogether.

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  • Overall
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Powerful stuff, such a difficult subject.

I really enjoyed the performance and the story. The way the struggle with Claude's identity was described and handled by the whole family was so touching. Thoroughly recommended.

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  • Overall
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Great book

I loved this book, it pulled at my heart strings from being to end :)

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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Beautiful Listen (without headphones)

Please listen to this without headphones, because the story is beautiful but the “s” sounds are so harsh! It actually made me wince on my commute, as I’ve never had this issue with an audiobook. You can’t notice it without headphones, so I’m glad I stuck with it and simply gave up on using headphones because it was beautiful!

Halfway through the book I realised this would be one of my favourite books this year. I loved how everything about this book was somewhat subtle without the cliché romance, cliché family troubles, cliché teen angst and especially the cliché trans depiction. I liked how all of the above normalised and portrayed in a very nuanced way. There were several spots when I thought it would be cheesy and messed up, especially when the boys become teenagers and I worried it would be so angst-y and one dimensional, but thankfully I was so wrong.

I know some people don‘t like happy endings per se, but considering the narration follows a fairy tale throughout, I liked how the story seemed like a fairy-tale about a fairy-tale.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Enlightening

It was a spellbinding book and gives insight to a complex issue ,especially for someone with little or no contact with this event .

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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This is How it Always is

Overall, I really enjoyed this book and the narration was excellent (although she speaks very quickly which took a bit of getting used to),. However, I did feel it went on too long which was a shame as I was losing interest about two hours from the end.

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Great story

I really enjoyed the story and perspective and found it overall a really thought provoking read. Some parts felt a bit slow especially at the beginning and the narrators voice seemed a little over formal, but that's just my opinion. I would still recommend to a friend as the story as a whole is worth it.

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Tale of the complexities of being different

A heartfelt tale of a family struggle to cope with being different. Educational, funny and touching. A must read for anyone dealing with a child or friend who is struggling to cope with their gender.

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