The TORPOMETRONOMICON cover art

The TORPOMETRONOMICON

10 Years of AcmeVaporware Miscommunications

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The TORPOMETRONOMICON

By: Gary Clemenceau
Narrated by: Sam Bradley
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About this listen

A tech-humor cult mainstay for over 30 years, this wayback AcmeVaporware compilation is arguably the weirdest and funniest tech-parody snapshot-of-an-era ever written. Author Gary Clemenceau is a seer and mad hatter of the first order.

Contained herein are all of (fictitious) mega-corporation AcmeVaporware's, "Yesterday's Technology Tomorrow" press releases, supersecret communiques, Powerpointless Presentation notes, impossible product manuals, and general Layer 1 colonic errata associated with a Decade of Tech-Torpor Under the Influence. As you well know, corporate press releases in general are a big stupid archaic waste of time -- and AcmeVaporware's corporate press releases and psychotronic phlogiston are no exception -- but they're the only ones you'll ever read all the way through, OUT LOUD, while laughing. So long as corporate life remains an inhuman slog through grey-minded cubicles, The TORPOMETRONOMICON will be there.

But wait, there's more.

An insane work of staggering Physical-Layer genius, The TORPOMETRONOMICON is not only the ULTIMATE in IT/network bathroom listening (BANNED by several big-name tech companies), it's also one of the few reference books on nearly every helpdesk from Alphaville to Zebulon. The Library of Congress has two copies! When in doubt, pull out the manual.

©1997, 2008 Gary Clemenceau (P)2025 Gary Clemenceau
Literature & Fiction Satire Witty
All stars
Most relevant
The standout feature of this audiobook is the performance. Without question, one of the best narrations I have had the pleasure of listening to. The accents are spot on, the delivery is well timed, and how the narrator manages to get through some of the exceptionally long, complex sentences which are full of jargon is beyond me. The jargon is, however, deliberate and one of the main features of the book.

If your vocabulary is limited and you’re easily confused, this audiobook isn’t for you. That said, if you like witty satire and despise corporate behemoths, give this a whirl, you will not be disappointed.

Fantastic Performance

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This is a very funny, wacky burlesque on corporate power and amorality which has only become more relevant since it was written. Its extreme, over-the-top meanderings are well worth a listen if you are a fan of that sort of thing (as I am), although I can see it being an extremely 'marmite' experience. The narrator is fantastic (full disclosure - Sam is a friend of mine).

Robert Rankin on speed

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The best thing about this book is the narrator. very talented and I hope he does more.
I didn't enjoy the book. It's clear that it's been done by a good writer but I don't understand why they've made this book. It's a comedic version of something like a company report. I couldn't spot a story but the narrator kept me listening a lot longer than I would have otherwise.

brilliant narrator

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