The Reluctant Carer cover art

The Reluctant Carer

Dispatches from the Edge of Life

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The Reluctant Carer

By: The Reluctant Carer
Narrated by: William Andrews
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About this listen

An irresistibly moving, funny and urgent memoir about the reality of caring for your parents, when you can barely care for yourself.

'Moving and real, as well as splutter-your-tea funny' – Miranda Sawyer


It was the kind of phone call we all dread. Your elderly father has been admitted to hospital. Your mum is about to be left at home alone. The answer? Drop everything. Go. Help. The reality? Not so straightforward. Suddenly, you’re a kid again, stranded in the overheated house you grew up in. They need you 24/7, that much is obvious. And you want to help, of course you do. But soon your life starts to unravel almost as quickly as their health.

In between bouts of washing, feeding, cooking and fighting there are days that test you, days where everything goes wrong and days where everyone, miraculously rises to the occasion. And in between all of that, you learn how to care. But this time with feeling.

Irresistibly funny, unflinching and deeply moving, this is a love letter to family and friends, to carers and to anyone who has ever packed a small bag intent on staying for just a few days. This is a true story of what it really means to be a carer. This is The Reluctant Carer.

‘Hilarious, bitter, poignant and profound . . . like an existential soap opera – only with more laughs.‘ - Philip Hoare, author of Leviathan

Aging Parent Marriage & Long-Term Partnerships Medicine & Health Care Industry Parenting & Families Relationships Funny

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Critic reviews

Blissfully well written . . . This is a wonderful book: funny, moving, real and brutally honest. Every child of ageing parents should snap up a copy. Every ageing parent should probably read it, too. Far better to look at the slippery slope from the top than when you're already halfway down …
It's the wisest, funniest, bravest and most essential life story I've read. I bloody love this book. (Frank Cottrell-Boyce)
Brave, unflinching and funny . . . This is a troubling but important read; an honest, warts and all glimpse into the reality of unpaid caring. It left me full of respect for those who care and seething that the system isn’t giving them the support and encouragement they so obviously need. (Jan Carson)
An astonishing and crucial memoir exploring the outer limits of familial love. The Reluctant Carer recounts a personal nightmare any of us could face with humour, heart and total honesty, asking vital questions of elderly care, where we’re at now, and where, one day, we will all be. How it’s as funny as it is moving is beyond me. I loved this book (David Whitehouse, author of About A Son)
While he injects humour into the most serious of situations, his story never loses its poignancy. In fact, these comical asides provide insight into the real and messy family dynamics at play. The Reluctant Carer is a brave and honest memoir that could provide solidarity to those in similar circumstances, or serve as preparation for what may be to come. Through the grief, terror and inelegance of later life, it is the family bond that's most impressive in this remarkable work.
Simultaneously delightfully funny and profoundly sad, the RC's book is a tonic that should be prescribed on the NHS for carers everywhere.
Incredible. One of those rare books that should be dispensed on prescription to every household - captures the full glossary of emotion that goes with this role. (Lucy Easthope, author of When the Dust Settles)
I absolutely loved this book. Moving and real, as well as splutter-your-tea funny, it's a clear-eyed, intimate description of what old age is really like, and what it's like trying to care for the old. It knocked me sideways. (Miranda Sawyer)
As funny as it is moving and poetic, The Reluctant Carer marries the forensic honesty of Karl Ove Knausgaard with the dry wit of Alan Bennett, and is every bit as good as that sounds. (Will Storr, author of The Science of Storytelling)
All stars
Most relevant
I loved the vulnerability of the author. His account was honest, transparent and humane in so many aspects. The way he connected his own inner experiences with the outside world was fascinating. I have to admit that he helped me self reflect in so many passages. You can't read or listen to this book without feeling a certain connection to the experiences.
A must listen or read!!

The narrator also made it extra special.

Thank you 😊

Honest, Vulnerable and Personal

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Heartfelt story, hard if you to are living it. I’m at the start of this with my own parents

Pure truth

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Really brings home the reality of being a carer, something that most of us will have to experience at some point in our lives. It struck a chord with me in so many ways as i am at that stage with my parents but also have the job of being a full time carer for my wife who has ms and a son with asperger's syndrome who lives with us still. The weight of responsibility is often overwhelming and admit that i struggle to deal with it all.
Despite this there are a lot of joyous and very funny moments within this book that made me laugh out loud and i would definitely recommend listening to it. The narration is spot on and makes me feel like i am genuinely listening to the author go about his daily life and reports of his days as they happen.
It also highlights the mess that is social care and how hard it is for both the carers and the people they are trying to help under the influence of organisations that only seem interested in making and saving money.
A great book, really well written that i wouldn't hesitate to recommend.

This is reality warts and all, superb!

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An honest account of the hardest role of all -caring for those who cared for you when things get very tough .The narrator is perfect in tone and recounts each event with stoicism as well as truth.

True life

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I loved this book, I listened in one sitting. Not a single excess word, poetic, heartbreaking, honest. Truly wonderful. Thank you for writing this.
Narration was perfect too.

Beautiful, haunting, exquisite pros

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