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The Lost Starship cover art

The Lost Starship

By: Vaughn Heppner
Narrated by: David Stifel
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Summary

Ten thousand years ago, a single alien super-ship survived a desperate battle. The vessel's dying crew set the AI on automatic to defend the smashed rubble of their planet. Legend has it the faithful ship continues to patrol the empty battlefield, obeying its last order throughout the lonely centuries.

In the here and now, Earth needs a miracle. Out of the Beyond invade the New Men, stronger, faster and smarter than the old. Their superior warships and advanced technology destroy every fleet sent to stop them. Their spies have infiltrated the government and traitors plague Earth's military.

Captain Maddox of Star Watch Intelligence wonders if the ancient legend could be true. Would such an old starship be able to face the technology of the New Men? On the run from killers, Maddox searches for a group of talented misfits. He seeks Keith Maker, a drunken ex-strikefighter ace, Doctor Dana Rich the clone thief stuck on a prison planet and Lieutenant Valerie Noonan, the only person to have faced the New Men in battle and survived to tell about it.

Maddox has to find a place hidden in the Beyond and bring back a ship no one can enter. If he fails, the New Men will replace the old. If he succeeds, humanity might just have a fighting chance...

©2014 Vaughn Heppner (P)2014 Vaughn Heppner

What listeners say about The Lost Starship

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A disappointing tale

If this book wasn’t for you, who do you think might enjoy it more?

Someone with too much time on their hands. Perhaps someone in prison who deserves punishment.

What was most disappointing about Vaughn Heppner’s story?

The start, the premise, the middle and the end. The bits in between were disappointing as well.

How could the performance have been better?

There is nothing more painful than hearing an American actor fail badly at attempting a Glaswegian accent. It varied between South African, Australian and German.

It didn't help that the narrator had the tone and delivery of an accountant presenting a financial report.

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Denial - surely this book can't be that bad despite the opening chapter
Bargaining - if I keep reading it will get better.
Anger - why did I pay for this book??
Depression - listening now out of sheer apathy and misery
Acceptance - the book is finally over and was disappointing. But now I know to avoid future works by this author.

Any additional comments?

This will be 13 hours of your life you won't get back. Unless you're in prison.

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14 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

nice story shame about the narrater

The story was fine, an old fashioned action movie with all the usual aspects you would expect. The narration however was at times truly appalling, especially the attempt at a Scottish accent. The character variously sounded Russian, Indian, Scouse, Brummie, Irish and a whole variety of others but never ever a Glaswegian. It was embarrassing and truly cringe worthy.

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12 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Truly awful

This audiobook is the worst I have purchased, plot is thin for sci fi space opera, narration poor with the infamous Glaswegian accent.
Seems like it must be a spoof.
Failure on behalf of audible editorial team how on earth did it get in the catalogue?

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9 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

No science in the fiction

Got about half way through this book before calling it quits
Weak story but could have got through it if the performance was better. This guy can't do a Scottish accent its cringeworthy like dick van dyke in Mary poppins

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Disappointing

Avoid if you are from the UK. The Scottish accent is awful.

The story itself is mediocre, potential is there.

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Annoyingly dull

First off, it's a really basic, linear story where not much happens. It's also very repetitive.

At one point, I logged back into to Audible to see when the book was written. I figured that perhaps it was in the 50s due to the lack of technical imagination. Turns out that it wasn't written in the 50s, and it just was a lack of imagination.

The most annoying thing is the "Batman '60s TV series" dialog that's rife throughout the story. Remember the endings to the old TV series where there'd be a barrage of questions? "Will, blar blar do whatever? Can so-and-so do x? Will batman make it out alive?" That kind of nonsense. Well, there's a lot of that in it, which gets very irritating, very quickly.


Finally, although the narrator did a reasonable job, one of the principle characters is Scottish, and his attempt at a Scottish accent is a joke. Either they should have found someone who could at least approximate a Scottish accent or the producer should have said don't both.

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Decent Story, Hilarious Narration

Would you listen to The Lost Starship again? Why?

I'm not sure if I'd listen to it again; but I did enjoy it. It has an interesting story, if a little obvious.

What didn’t you like about David Stifel’s performance?

Oh my God, the sole reason for my review.
This guy has clearly never been to Scotland; heard a Scottish accent or perhaps even knows where it is.
He is hilarious. The first 20 minutes of hearing his 'Scottish' accent has me roaring with laughter. It is truly bizarre..... I cannot believe that at some point someone didn't say to the guy - "hey, did you know that you really can't do Scottish?!"

Truly shocking. It's hilarious but it does grow weary.

Any additional comments?

I know they never will.... but it'd be a far better book if they redid the narration.

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4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Well, luv, it wasnae for me

OK, so I’ve got to address the elephant in the room. If you’ve read almost any of the other reviews you’ll have heard mention of The Accent. One of the characters is allegedly Scottish, although the way that the narrator tackles the accent you could actually believe he’s from anywhere in the world. Or perhaps everywhere all at once. It doesn’t just vary from sentence to sentence. I swear in one sentence he managed to hit four different accents. And it only had three words. Sorry, but it really is that poor. It’s positively distracting whenever that character is around, which unfortunately is for most of the book.

For those of a certain age who can remember this far back (or those who like classic movies) it’s essentially The Dirty Dozen in space. Well, maybe on a budget since it’s more like The Dirty Quintet, but that didn’t have the same ring to it. Essentially humanity has once again got itself in to trouble and is about to be wiped out (that’s about the 14th time this year already. Perhaps I should stop reading so much sci fi). New, stronger versions of humanity called the New Men are invading. We have a slightly weaker version of them in Captain Maddox (if the New Men are version 2, he's version 1 service pack 1) who must round up a group of belligerent people who really don’t want to be together and try to save the day by finding ancient technology. All whilst trying to figure out what accent the “Scottish” guy has slipped into now. Talk about a challenge.

I really wanted to like this book. In particular, the concept of an ancient ship left with only an AI to run it felt like it had great potential, but in practice that whole piece was just a massively missed opportunity. Even the New Men, though physically strong, were emotionally weak and ultimately served as little more than throw jibes at the protagonists.

So, it’s not a terrible book, but there’s nothing all that novel about it. The pacing is also somewhat patchy. There are big action pieces that are actually quite entertaining, but then the action slows to a crawl for too long and very little happens. There isn’t really enough mystery to hold your attention for long listening sessions, and the characters are all somewhat bland and interchangeable with obvious flaws that they have to overcome.

And oh my, that accent...

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4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

worst book in a long time

The narrator is extremely painful to listen to. His attempt at a Scottish accent was atrocious. Beyond that the story is very weak and not worth the suffering.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Accent performance

OMG possibly the worst Scottish accent attempt I've ever heard, utterly off putting. story plot ok however

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1 person found this helpful