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The Amateurs

Narrated by: Angus King
Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (152 ratings)
Regular price: £21.99
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Summary

Gary is a sweet and decent man. Only two things would improve his life - having children with his gorgeous wife, Pauline, and a lower golf handicap. Both are unlikely.

Pauline is wondering how she ended up living in an ugly little house, driving a second-hand car and making a living dressing up as Tinker Bell. She's planning to leave Gary for a self-made carpet millionaire.

Findlay, the Carpet King of Scotland, wants to trade in his obese wife for a younger model. But if he goes for a divorce, she'll take him to the cleaners. If only there was some way she could be made to disappear....

Lee, Gary's luckless brother, has botched one too many drug deals. Local crime overlord Ranta Campbell gives him one more job - one last chance to get it right. Lee's done some bad things - but murder?

When Gary gets smashed on the head by a golf ball and miraculously develops an absolutely perfect swing, everyone finds their fates rest on the final day of the Open Championship....

©2015 John Niven (P)2015 Random House AudioBooks

What members say

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  • Greg
  • Otford, United Kingdom
  • 11-12-15

Funniest book I've ever heard/read

Never has a book made me laugh out loud as much as this one did. John Nivens best book in my opinion, however they are all great.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Laughing all the way

Another great read from John Niven , great story and again had me laughing out loud ! Also great performance, only issue wasn’t long enough.

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Brilliant

F@&K, C£&T, Bas&£rd. John Niven is a genius. If you love golf you will love this. BTW. There may be a rude word or two!

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A must for struggling golfers.

Read and listened to this a few times now and I rarely go back to a book. The only book I have genuinely laughed out loud in a public place attracting lots of strange looks. The story is so absurd and hilarious and all us struggling golfers will relate to the protagonist's woes in the early part of the book. Golf and Gangsters, what is not to love!

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So funny

Funniest and most uplifting book that I have listened to so far. You don't have to be a golfer to enjoy this book but if you are a golfer, you will love it.

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review

started pretty poorly , got better at the later stages
didn't like the voices especially the poor wee stereotypical Glasgow bams
golf knowledge good although story farcical
good comedy in parts but too little , some lines too lazy and predictable overall aversge

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Simply brilliant

Big fan of John Niven's work and that drew me to this story. I expected a lot, he has set his standards very high, Second Coming especially. This did not disappoint. Ostensibly it's about golf but it's much more than that. It's funny. Funny funny funny and it's a nice underdog story. Poor Gary is a lovely man being crapped on from all angles and when his world starts to change you root for him and he delivers. When you learn about his disjointed family, you root for them too. I even liked the bad guy. You will love the protagonist and you will laugh out loud, possibly at work like I did, and look like a loon but the payoff is worth it.

Great work John,

Love John.

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  • Brian
  • Livingston, United Kingdom
  • 15-06-18

Colourful realistic language and a gid wee story.

What a master piece. John, where have you been! All credit to the narrator Angus King. You read the book so well. The whole book is full of cringing moments that are funny as fuck. This reminds me of early Brookmyre and goes beyond the Welch bloke.

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guilty pleasure

First John Niven read and certainlyy not my last. A little guilty for laughing so much at the heroes affliction but just so funny. Already looking for next read (listen). A hard act to follow.

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great listen, very funny

As a struggling golfer I can identify with the main characters anguish, and we have all had dreams of somehow becoming a scratch player over night. very funny and entertaining book

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 27-08-17

Great Book

Loved this book. well written and will keep you laughing. looking forward reading another of Johns book's