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The Abandoners

Of Mothers and Monsters

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About this listen

‘The best kind of book: the one you didn’t know you were craving until it appeared . . . self-interrogative, intricately perceptive. I absolutely inhaled it’ JIA TOLENTINO

‘A very richly interesting exploration of a complex subject. Begoña Gómez Urzaiz tells the stories with such intelligence and wit and generosity’ TESSA HADLEY

‘Fascinating … I suspect there are many, many other mothers who are going to inhale The Abandoners OBSERVER

When it comes to children: a man leaves, a woman abandons

Journalist Begoña Gómez Urzaiz is fascinated by women who left their children behind to pursue their artistic lives. Women like Ingrid Bergman, Muriel Spark, Doris Lessing and Joni Mitchell.

This book captures those extraordinary stories, along with the realities of women who have no choice but to separate from their families, and the everyday guilt of mothers who dream quietly of freedom.

This is a book about motherhood, selfhood, ambition and creativity. Above all, it captures what our judgement of those women who ‘abandon’ tells us about our judgement of all women.

‘The best book I've read on the implications of motherhood and its opposites after Sheila Heti's Motherhood’ CLAUDIA DURASTANTI

©2024 Begoña Gómez Urzaiz, Lizzie Davis (P)2024 HarperCollins Publishers
Art & Literature Authors Dysfunctional Families Motherhood Parenting & Families Relationships Women

Critic reviews

‘Fascinating … I suspect there are many, many other mothers who are going to inhale The Abandoners. I know I did … So beautifully translated from Spanish by Lizzie Davis that you forget it’s translation, this is rich, vivid writing about the eternal push and pull of motherhood … Few things I have read lately convey so exactly the sense of loving your children so much you can barely breathe, yet sometimes craving escape’ Gaby Hinscliff, Observer

'Compelling' Guardian

'The stories are fascinating … intriguing … Truly moving' The Times

'One of the liveliest, sharpest and funniest books in an increasingly crowded field … daring essays that blend cultural criticism, memoir and a smattering of reporting … a delight for many reasons' Becca Rothfeld, Washington Post

'Insightful … The book’s job isn’t to convince readers to forgive these women but to offer, with immersive storytelling, a look into the complicated nature of motherhood, the desire to break free from precarious relationships, and the paradoxes of modern feminism’ OPRAH DAILY

‘The best kind of book: the one you didn’t know you were craving until it appeared … self-interrogative, intricately perceptive. I absolutely inhaled it’ JIA TOLENTINO, author of TRICK MIRROR

‘A very richly interesting exploration of a complex subject. Begoña Gómez Urzaiz tells the stories of all these different women with such intelligence and wit and generosity’ TESSA HADLEY, author of THE PAST

'Perceptive…daring' LITERARY REVIEW

‘The best book I've read on the implications of motherhood and its opposites after Sheila Heti's MotherhoodCLAUDIA DURASTANTI, author of STRANGERS I KNOW

'Anyone who has ever judged a mother or been judged for being one will benefit from reading this book … This generous and rigorous work seamlessly connects real and fictional women, while offering an expansive view of a sensitive topic' MICHELE FILGATE, author of WHAT MY MOTHER AND I DON'T TALK ABOUT

All stars
Most relevant
I really liked this book which is clear and informative and relatable.

Having a child gives but truthfully also takes so much from women.

I love my child with all my heart and I fear the rapidly approaching day they leave home but I long for it too.

Many types of women including those who leave their children to earn money are considered.

The Reality of Motherhood

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More ways than one can imagine to be a bad mother , at time hilarious and at time despairing

More ways than one can imagine

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This is one of the few books that I've completed end-end since becoming a single parent to a now nearly 4 year-old. i enjoyed the nuance and compassion this work gave to its subjects and whilst I fully expected it to be quite depressing (perhaps due to the title) the writer's self-aware humour and rounded approach made it a fascinating listen. I particularly enjoyed the review of 'categorisations' or expectations of mothers past and present and it's been a reassuring listen in terms of the pressures society can place on mothers. I hope that both women and men take the time to listen to this book, as it is quite enlightening.

A great and well-researched piece on motherhood

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