South by South East

When the vertically challenged Johnny Naples entrusts Tim Diamond with a package worth over three million pounds, he’s making a big mistake. Tim Diamond is the worst detective in the world. Next day, Johnny’s dead, Tim feels the heat, and his smart younger brother, Nick, gets the package – and every crook in town on his back!

Thirteen-year-old David Eliot was a disappointment to his parents. But to be sent to Groosham Grange? Hidden away on a lonely island, Groosham Grange is a school that is unknown to the outside world. Pupils are forced to sign their names in blood. An English teacher is held together entirely with bandages. A soccer ball is made of ... well, you'd rather not know. What is the chilling secret hidden behind the headmaster's door? And why are students disappearing in the middle of the night?

When his guardian dies in suspicious circumstances, 14-year-old Alex Rider finds his world turned upside down. Forcibly recruited into MI6, Alex has to take part in gruelling SAS training exercises. Then, armed with his own special set of secret gadgets, he's off on his first mission to Cornwall, where Middle-Eastern multi-billionaire Herod Sayle is producing his state-of-the-art Stormbreaker computers - but there's more to Sayle than meets the eye....

For Tad Spencer, only son of a fabulously wealthy businessman, every day is like Christmas. Until he makes the mistake of wishing he was someone else. The next morning he wakes up as Bob Snarby, trapped in a cruel and squalid funfair world inhabited by hopeless criminals, mysterious fortune tellers and – worst of all – the murderous Finn.

Twelve-year-old Joe Warden isn’t happy. Sure, he’s rich, but his parents don’t care about him. His grandmother should make everything better, except that Joe’s granny is a nightmare. She’s not just physically repulsive, she’s horribly mean. Everyone thinks she’s just a dotty old woman, but Joe knows the truth. He’s seen behind her mask and glimpsed the wicked glimmer in her eyes – she is pure evil.

What if it was every day? This is the story of Sam Green, who really, really, really loves birthdays. He loves the special breakfasts in bed. The presents. The themed parties. Blowing out the candles on his cake. Everything. He is so excited about his 11th birthday, in fact, that he wishes it was his birthday every day. So at first it's quite exciting when his birthday happens again the next morning. And again. And again. And again....

Turning invisible at will: it's one way of curing your acne. But far more drastic than 13 year-old Ethel Leatherhead intended when she tried a combination of untested medicines and a sunbed. It's fun at first, being invisible. And aided by her friend Boydy, she manages to keep her extraordinary ability secret. Or does she?

From the author of The Parent Agency comes a thrilling, funny and touching new adventure. Fred and Ellie are twins. But not identical (because that's impossible for a boy and a girl). They do like all the same things, though. Especially video games. Which they are very good at. They aren't that good, however, at much else - like, for example, football, or dealing with the school bullies. Then they meet the Mystery Man, who sends them a video game controller which doesn't look like any other controller they've ever seen.

From the phenomenal number-one best seller David Walliams comes another collection of more hilariously horrible children! Just when you thought it was safe to go back to your bookshelf, 10 more horrendously hilarious stories about the absolute worst children ever! From 10-year-old Hank and his endless pranks on his poor, long-suffering family to Tandy and her titanic tantrums, this brand-new collection is the perfect companion to World's Worst Children books 1 and 2 and an ideal gift for the worst children in your life! 

Matt has always known he has unusual powers. Raised in foster care, he is sent to Yorkshire on a rehabilitation programme, only to find himself in the midst of sinister goings-on. Matt investigates and uncovers a terrible secret - eight guardians are protecting the world from the Old Ones, beings banished long ago by five children. But devil worshippers want to let the Old Ones back in....

This year the secret service made a major mix -up. They mistook a 13-year-old boy called Kevin for a secret agent (I know, so much for an 'intelligence' agency). This was the sort of kid that would try and zip wire across a building and end up falling headfirst into a fountain, with his bum on show. Despite this, it is up to Kevin to save us all from an evil supervillain!

Jasper Spam is mad about science. The problem is that his experiments tend to end in a bang - until one day Jasper manages to invent something that will change the world forever...the world's first talking cat. With his newfound wealth Jasper can finally live the life he's always dreamed of - buying a mansion and a sports team and producing a Hollywood blockbuster. But is there a huge price to pay for bringing talking cats to the world?

A terrorist doesn't let strangers in her flat because they might be undercover police or intelligence agents, but her children bring their mates home and they run all over the place. The terrorist doesn't know that a kid has bugged every room in her house, cloned the hard drive on her PC, and copied all the numbers in her phone book. The kid works for Cherub. Cherub agents are aged between 10 and 17. They live in the real world, slipping under adult radar and getting information that sends criminals and terrorists to jail.

Tim Diamond - the world’s worst private detective - takes on his most dangerous case yet, and it’s going to be up to his brother to keep him out of trouble. A short story from Guys Read: Thriller, edited by Jon Scieszka.

A truly original debut novel from an extraordinarily talented new voice in children's books. Laugh, cry and wonder at this race-against-time story of a boy who travels back to 1984 to prevent a go-kart accident and save his father's life.... My dad died twice. Once when he was 39 and again four years later, when he was 12. The first time had nothing to do with me. The second time definitely did, but I would never even have been there if it hadn't been for his 'time machine'....