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Skip the Guilt Trap

Simple Steps to Help You Move on With Your Life
Narrated by: Anna Bentinck
Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (3 ratings)

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Summary

Free yourself from the guilt trap, and move on with your life. Simple steps to free yourself from guilt.

Guilt is a major underlying cause of emotional disorders such as low self-esteem, depression, OCD and other mental illnesses. This guide, written by one of the UK's most respected psychotherapists and now a best-selling author, Gael Lindenfield, explains how guilt damages our health, relationships and career prospects. It explores the many different types of guilt and provides practical exercises and advice for how to manage this emotion more effectively.

©2016 Gael Lindenfield (P)2016 HarperCollins Publishers Limited

Critic reviews

"Sensible, practical, and exceedingly useful!" (Claire Rayner)
"Encouraging and helpful." (Sunday Express)

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Profile Image for Mariana Josan
  • Mariana Josan
  • 15-10-19

Such books should not be published

I started to listen to the book and was very disappointed until I’ve heard a story after which I decided to stop listening. The author describes healthy guilt by citing an example in which a tree years old child is told to go to his grandma’s birthday while he wants to play with his friend. She is then teaching the child “healthy guilt” by saying: “ I know you love your grandmother and you will hurt your grandmother’s feelings if you don’t go; your grandmother will be very sad, so you have to go.” First, she takes away the child’s right to be a child and like what is appropriate for his age, thus play with other children. Furthermore she makes him feel ashamed for what he likes, as if wanting to play is wrong. Second, she is telling the child what he should feel. Maybe the child doesn’t like or even hates his grandmother in that moment for having to go to her birthday while he wants to play with his friend, but she is telling him what he feels without allowing the child to be in touch with his own feelings. Third, she makes the child feel guilty for other people’s feelings: “grandmother will be sad if you don’t go.” The child learns to abandon his own feelings and take responsibility to fix adults’ feelings. Fourth, she does not validate the child’s normal wish to play, neither does she negotiate with the child how to best for both approach the situation. She could have asked the child to bring his friend to the birthday where they can play, or simply state that I know how important is for you to be with your friend, but today this is impossible. In short, awful and damaging way of teaching children and adults healthy guilt. One instance such as this can damage the child, hard to imagine what will happen to the child in the long run and when more of such instances will occur.