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Scarred

The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult that Bound My Life

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Scarred

By: Sarah Edmondson, Kristine Gasbarre
Narrated by: Sarah Edmondson
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About this listen

 The shocking and subversive memoir of a 12-year-NXIVM-member-turned-whistleblower, and her inspiring true story of abuse, escape, and redemption.

"Master, would you brand me? It would be an honor."Scarred follows actress Sarah Edmondson's account of her recruitment into the NXIVM cult, founded by Keith Raniere. It narrates in detail the 12 years she spent within the organization, during which she enrolled over 2,000 members, chronicling her breaking point and her harrowing fight to get out, help others, and heal.

• Complete with personal photographs, this tell-all follows Sarah from the moment she takes her first NXIVM seminar, to the invitation she accepts from her best friend, Lauren Salzman, into DOS—a "secret sisterhood" within the cult—to her journey toward becoming a key witness in the federal case against its founders.
• Readers will learn how cults like NXIVM get started, why people get involved (and stay), and the importance of whistleblowers who bring light to illegal and unethical practices.
• Sarah Edmondson is a Canadian actress and playwright who has starred in the CBS series Salvation and more than 12 films for the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime. She is featured in the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM and The Vow, the upcoming HBO documentary series on NXIVM.

Scarred isn't just about NXIVM. It is also a story about abuses of power, the role female friendships play in cults, and how sometimes the search to be "better" can override everything else.

• A thrilling read for fans of true crime and cults, as well as listeners of podcasts like My Favorite Murder and Up and Vanished.
• Great for fans of Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology by Leah Remini, Escape by Carolyn Jessop, Beyond Belief by Jenna Miscavige Hill, and Bad Blood by John Carreyrou.
• Evokes questions about friendship, ethics, good and evil, making it a perfect selection for book clubs.

Audio edition read by the author. Personal Development Personal Success Religious Studies Spirituality Celebrity

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Critic reviews

*One of Town Country’s 10 Best Fiction Nonfiction Books About Cults*


"If you were enthralled by the HBO docuseries, The Vow, or Starz’s Seduced, then Sarah Edmondson’s memoir is required follow-up reading." --Town Country
"Sarah Edmonson wrote a subversive memoir about NXIVM you have to read after The Vow." -Bustle.com
All stars
Most relevant
It's difficult to fathom the true depht of these events. Sarah you are a very brave and strong woman and by sharing your story you are helping to make sure this can't happen again.

Thank you for sharing your story Sarah.

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This is a fascinating and gripping tale of an idealistic young woman who was lured into the omnipotent grasp of a contemporary cult. Reciting her own tale, Sarah takes the reader through her extraordinary journey with NXIVM - the ambition, the euphoria of self-discovery and the strangling embrace of the community, which eventually led down such a dark path that she felt compelled to blow the whistle.

I devoured this book in just a couple of days. Warning - you will not want to put it down until you’re done!

Fascinating; compelling; what an emotional rollercoaster!

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Fantastic story of how someone first got into NXIVM, climbed the ranks, and finally got out (scathed but unbroken).

Peppered with NXIVM theory and explaining their practices — which are a mix of Landmark, Ayn Rand and Scientology. (Having intimate knowledge of the first two, I find it eerie how easy it could be to fall into a cult like this. It’s surreal to hear Landmark and Objectivist jargon casually used in an ‘uncanny valley’ kind of way.)

The author’s acting skills make the narration engaging and enjoyable to listen to.

A look inside NXIVM

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So brave of Sarah to share this story. A lesson for us all here.

inspirational strength from Sarah

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Sarah's story is heartbreaking and infuriating. If you loved 'The Vow' a HBO docu-series on NXVIM you'll love this.

also check out her podcast 'A little bit culty'

A must-read for documentary lovers!

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