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STFU

The Power of Keeping Your Mouth Shut in a World That Won’t Stop Talking

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STFU

By: Dan Lyons
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About this listen

Would our lives, relationships and careers be better if we just STFU for a while?

We live in a world that doesn’t just encourage overtalking, but practically demands it. When success is measured by how much attention we can attract, how long we can hold on to the mic, it’s no wonder that we feel compelled to spout endlessly on Twitter, to document every detail of our lives on Instagram, start that podcast, or lead that conference.

And yet, oddly enough, the most powerful and accomplished people in the world aren’t part of that chorus—they’re reserved, they listen, and when they do speak they’re considered. Tim Cook, President Obama, the late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg all have seemed to understand the secret golden rule: talk less, get more. There are entire industries designed to help us amplify our voices, experts who are just dying to coach us on how to talk better, but nobody is teaching us how to STFU for a while.

Former Forbes journalist Dan Lyons takes us on a sharp, funny, fascinating deep dive through our incessant noise-making – talking to communications experts, neuroscientists, psychiatrists and Silicon Valley executive coaches the world over to understand the science and culture behind why we can’t stop talking, and how ultimately we can learn to speak less – and with more intention – to improve our lives.

Communication & Social Skills Media Studies Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Social Sciences Words, Language & Grammar Funny

Critic reviews

‘Read this book–your boss will thank you. Your spouse will thank you. And you'll thank yourself! Good communication is measured not by the speaker, but by the listener. How can you know what's going on in another person's ear? Start by STFU! For most of us, that's easier said than done. Dan Lyons will explain how to do it, and why it will improve your relationships at work and at home.’
Kim Scott, New York Times bestselling author of Radical Candor

“Lyons cuts through the noise even as he critiques it. Timely, clever, and important. Need I say more? (Probably not).”
David Litt, former speechwriter for President Barack Obama

“Want to help with those loudmouthed jerks, the ones polluting our media and our minds of late? Want to avoid being one yourself? STFU teaches us what we all need to learn: how to listen, pause and speak. How to communicate with intention, and power. The book opens your mind by closing your mouth. I could go on, but I’ll shut up now.”
Aaron James, author of the bestselling Assholes: A Theory

All stars
Most relevant
Great advice received from this book. Recommend 100%. Probably will get back to re listen to it in a few months

Great Book

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it helped me understand my own overtalking in certain siuations activley trying the techniques now

Really insightful book

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I found this book hard to listen to, but only because it was brutally honest and difficult to hear and imagine that others might perceive me in these ways. I've never made it to the end of an audible... until now. This book was incredible with its stories and tips on how to overcome talkative behavior. I really can't wait to put it into practice in work. I already find myself in situations where I'm thinking "What is the benefit of me saying this?" so I hold back to read the room before speaking. I loved this book from start to finish.

If you nervously feel the need to fill silence

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There are good stories and examples, and it certainly finished well. Ended with a personal testimonial that was honest, and I really appreciate it.

Helpful book

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A wonderful wake up call, with actionable advice. Ironically I'm caught by the 15 word minimum and this sentence is superfluous.

Game changing

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