Platonic cover art

Platonic

How Understanding Your Attachment Style Can Help You Make and Keep Friends

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Platonic

By: Marisa G. Franco PhD
Narrated by: Marisa G. Franco PhD
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About this listen

The instant New York Times Bestseller

In Platonic, psychologist and friendship expert Dr Marisa G. Franco unpacks why undervaluing friendship in our culture has led to an epidemic of isolation, and what we can do about it.


'Wise, concrete and effective - my friendships are better for it' – Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed

When was the last time you put yourself out there to make a new friend?
How do we keep friends in an era of distraction, burnout, and chaos, especially in a society that often prizes romantic love at the expense of other relationships?

This book offers a clear and actionable blueprint for forging strong and lasting connections with others – and becoming our happiest selves in the process.

Using the groundbreaking framework behind attachment theory, this book teaches us to identify and understand our individual style – secure, anxious or avoidant – and recognize that how we behave in relationships is the key to unlocking what we’re doing right (and what we could do better) in our friendships.

Weaving together cutting-edge research in psychology with interviews, personal stories and practical advice, this book gives us the tools we need to be better friends, and better humans.

'A timely, unique guide to approaching friendship with the love (and self-reflection) it deserves' – Francesca Specter, author of Alonement

Communication & Social Skills Friendship Personal Development Personal Success Relationships

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Critic reviews

''Dr. Marisa G. Franco and Platonic have been invaluable guides on my journey to nurture and deepen my friendships. Her advice is wise, concrete, and effective—and my friendships are better for it.' (Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed)
This is a timely, unique guide to approaching friendship, with the love (and self-reflection) it deserves. (Francesca Specter, author of Alonement)
Reminds us of the importance of platonic love in today’s society - bucking the notion that romantic love trumps everything else in our lives. (The Wall Street Journal)
Franco gives practical guidance on how to manage psychological (and other) blocks to friendship, paving the way to deeper relationships. (University of California)
Franco collects and shares the most pertinent insights about the psychology of friendship... game-changing secrets.
Provides a clear and actionable blueprint for forging strong, lasting connections with others—and for becoming our happiest, most fulfilled selves in the process. (Next Big Idea Club)
A gentle, yet affirming, call-in for us to investigate how we’ve regarded the platonic relationships in our life and opportunities for deep fulfillment that we may be missing out on. (Joy Harden Bradford, Ph.D., Founder & CEO, Therapy for Black Girls)
Franco offers suggestions for making connections, with step-by-step guidelines on how to be a better pal. (Essence Magazine)
A fantastic guide not just for making and keeping friends—it's also a manifesto for how to more effectively invest in the stuff that really matters in life. (Laurie Santos, Professor of Psychology at Yale University and host of The Happiness Lab podcast)
A handbook for us all on how to get out of our own way to make new friends. (The Globe and Mail)
It's hard to make friends as an adult – here's great advice on how to do it. (News24)
If you want to feel genuinely connected, read this book. (Shasta Nelson, author of Friendships Don’t Just Happen!)
The evidence is clear—having strong connections is the lowest-hanging fruit on the tree of a healthy life. What’s less straightforward is how you go about doing that, so see this doctor and she’ll help keep you away from the other ones. (Billy Baker, author of We Need to Hang Out)
I closed this book determined to prioritize my friendships as one of the most important aspects of my life. (Laura Tremaine, author of Share Your Stuff. I’ll Go First)
A fascinating meditation on how we develop and build meaningful relationships. An insightful, engaging and thoroughly enjoyable read. Everyone needs this book (Lauren Martin, author of The Book of Moods)
All stars
Most relevant
If you are lonely and want, no desperately need, to make friends the first chapter is a hard listen. To start with this book tells you what you probably already know; friends are good for you. It was so hard being told all the research that says how bad for your health loneliness is... preaching to the converted! It just made me more miserable.

After you wade through that chapter the author does start giving you tips but it seems reliant on you being in a large city that has lots of ways to meet people.

The other thing I struggled with was the narration. I found the voice quality muddy and unclear at time and the thick American accent was hard to decipher as a Brit.

Finally, there was too much research, facts, and figures. I found this too dry.

I struggled to stay engaged, at any time, for more than 5 minutes; often finding myself drifting off into other thoughts.

It's a real shame, I wanted to learn how to be better at making and keeping friends but it felt the information was buried in dry data and poor narration.

Not for me

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This book not only gives you a wider perspective on the behaviours of your family/friends and reasons they act like they do but also on your own behaviours and reasons for them. Many times while listening to this audiobook it put things into perspective for me- how I am, like everyone, far from perfect. We like to think we are always right, and if conflict has arisen it can’t be because of us. However that is far from the truth. What this book taught me the most was to be more forgiving and have a more open mind when it comes to conflict in interpersonal relationships- and that at the end of the day our relationships with our friends and family’s are probably the most important thing in this world- therefore it is so important we learn to communicate. And that’s what this book teaches you to do, and how to assert your own needs/ boundaries which is so important. Another big take away from this book is that platonic relationships can be just as -if not even more- important than romantic relationships. I enjoyed listening to this book 10/10.

Eye-opening and thought provoking

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There are absolutely brillant parts in this book - and I like the narrator very much. But the start is way to long, so you might want to skip the first hour. Its too long to get in to some actual tools here. But the book still needs to be read.

Most of us need this

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Not easy to find a book on friendship. I love examples from researches and the clear structure.

Yay! A book on friendship

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Pulls together strands of research into friendship along with the author’s personal and professional insights. This book has helped to inform a poetry and music show I’ve written and performed on the theme of friendship/loneliness as well as a creative workshop series I’m developing for people who want to form connections. Thank you!

Clear and helpful (review by Beth Calverley)

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