On Our Best Behaviour cover art

On Our Best Behaviour

From the host of Pulling The Thread

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About this listen

Bloomsbury presents On Our Best Behaviour written and read by Elise Loehnen.

*THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER*
'A stunning, big and bold encyclopedia of how to live' LISA TADDEO
'Astute, radical and utterly compelling' KATHERINE MAY
'You will finish this book and immediately hand your copy over to your best friend' JENNIFER ANISTON
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Why do women equate self-denial with being ‘good’?

We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom. We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger. We put others’ needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary. Journalist and podcast host Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses – often lauded as distinctly feminine instincts – are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of social mores:

Lust. Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Wrath. Envy. Pride.

These so-called ‘deadly sins’ have been used by the patriarchy to control women throughout our history. For instance, a fear of gluttony drives us to ignore our appetites and an aversion to greed prevents us from negotiating a better salary at work.

So, what would happen if we stopped trying to be ‘good’?

Provocative and bold, On Our Best Behaviour is a probing analysis of history and contemporary culture that explains how women have internalised the patriarchy, and how they unwittingly reinforce it. By sharing her own story and the spiritual wisdom of other traditions, Elise Loehnen shows how we can break free and discover a path toward a more balanced, fulfilled way to live.
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'This is a really important book' CHELSEA HANDLER
'A guide to liberation and a return to the authentic feminine self' GABOR MATÉ
'Brilliantly reframes our toxic cultural programming' LORI GOTTLIEB

©2023 Elise Loehnen (P)2023 Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
Gender Studies Social Sciences Sociology Discrimination Rage
All stars
Most relevant
Thoughtful, reflective and often deeply personal this feels like essential listening as we move into a new age of consciousness.

A timely reminder

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I love Elise Loehnen's work. Her podcast Pulling The Thread brings together a fascinating bunch of interviewees, and her questions are always enlightening. This book reflects all of that thoughtfulness and intellect. A little dense in places, it nevertheless explores the hidden expectations women are enslaved by from all kinds of interesting perspectives - sociological, historical and personal. I like how Elise weaves in her own experiences with just the right degree of vulnerability to prevent the book feeling excessively dry or ideological. Heartily recommended.

Thoughtful and Brave

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I found the tone of the narrator rather like listening to endless hammer blows. Her ideas were interesting but not easily applicable there was little how and lots of should and must rather than can. I’d love to see where her thoughts get to twenty years from now when she has more perspective. But over all, food for thought.

Interesting ideas

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I can highly recommend this book, it is a well written thoughtful masterpiece, it stays with you.

Brilliant

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There are some interesting and truthful comments to be found in the book . I felt moved to review early on as I admit I am finding this a struggle. I have now finished the book.Her voice,or maybe is it her accent? is difficult to listen to. She makes a point and then proceeds to say the same thing in four different ways using different vocabulary, may be I did not understand it first time?On occasion it is more overtly feminist than I find comfortable. All things being equal the content may have made a good essay. The first chapter she says may be heavy and full of science and history great I thought something to cogitate on but no hardly historical and no science.
The conclusion was, thought provoking as was the final chapter all in all interesting but I found it longwinded.

Repetitive long winded interspersed with interesting points

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