No One to Save Me

It happened one night not long after that holiday. I think they had been out, but I’m not sure. I remember I was sleeping in my bed when the noises of my mum and him getting home woke me. Suddenly, my bedroom door opened, but it wasn’t my mum. I didn’t know where she was. It was him. I pretended to be asleep. He came to the side of the bed, and I didn’t know what was happening, but my mind told me to stay still. He pulled the covers back; I didn’t move. I kept my eyes closed. My heart felt like it was jumping out of my chest. He lifted my legs apart, and I let them move. He pulled up my nightdress and pulled my pants down. I didn’t even try to open my eyes.

Imagine being an innocent seven-year-old girl with a broke, single mum. Now imagine your mum meets a man who can give her a nice house and a better life in exchange for you. That’s what happened to me. For years, I suffered neglect and psychological and sexual abuse from him, with my mum being a silent witness. When I was finally able to get rid of him and escape, I didn’t know that my life was only going to get worse. After a battle against addiction, depression and suicidal thoughts that lasted for years, and with the help of therapy, I started to slowly recover and get my life back. Although my healing journey has just started and there’s still a long way to go, I can say I’m alive. I had No One to Save Me, yet I survived.