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Summary

In a revealing study of relationships where partners love themselves first, last, and always, Cynthia Zayn and Kevin Dibble help listeners determine whether their partner is over the line and has narcissistic personality disorder. The book draws on the authors' research and interviews with a variety of men and women who've been narcissized. Featuring compelling stories and scenarios, Narcissistic Lovers helps victims understand the pain brought on by their abusers, shows why these self-loathers can't change, and offers hope for healing from their "N-fliction".

©2007 Cynthia Zayn and Kevin Dibble, MS (P)2017 Tantor

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Excellent

loved this book very empowering giving helpful information to heal from abusive relationships and become stronger in ones life

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  • E. Green
  • 21-06-18

A Godsend!! Just what I needed!

I married someone with narcissistic personality disorder. This book has described my wife perfectly. It gave me clarity, laser-like understanding and the confirmation that I needed. we are still married, but I am much more prepared and in a different place spiritually because of this book. some of the passages and the stories hit so close to home at. The author must have been watching us from afar LOL. the behaviors described or 1000% on point! I was just blown away, but better equipped, and understanding of why she acts the way that she does. and if it will be an end to this, it will be an end worth remembering because I now know why, how, and when these ridiculous behaviors occur. And I also know as I figured out earlier, that her behavior has nothing to do with me. My reactions to her behavior or text book behaviors for codependents, which I did not think I was. Rereading this chapter by chapter as we speak

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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  • Philly Gurl
  • 04-06-18

Amazingly Helpful

This book helped me tremendously. In understanding the behaviors of my narcissist soon to be ex-husband and gave me a sense of relief that it wasn't my fault. No matter what I did and believe I did everything to make this man happy but give my life, he would have left anyway. Just so glad I only suffered 6 months and not years. Thank you so much for writing this book. It was better therapy for me than going to counseling. Blessings

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

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  • E38557
  • 30-03-18

And yet I learned more....

What did you love best about Narcissistic Lovers?

I loved that the dialogue was down to earth and the examples covered different relationships other than just a narcissistic lover --- this one had examples of lovers, co-workers, friends, parents, etc. All relationships were covered.

What other book might you compare Narcissistic Lovers to and why?

Not sure I could name a particular book that this one compares to on this topic.

Which scene was your favorite?

Chapter 17 (I think) when the narrator was relating a middle of the night phone call from a narcissistic lover to his girlfriend. When she was saying what he was "really saying"....It literally made me laugh out loud....but, I am on the "other" side of my relationship and can see this scene for exactly how it is....

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

YES....I had an "ah-ha" moment -which I again didn't think could happen to me anymore on this topic due to past research and experience.....BUT there is a part where she describes a lover to a sematic narcissist as an extension for his own masturbation. This may be hard to hear....but, if you have ever TRULY lived with one - - you would know that is the BEST way to describe most of these situations.....

Any additional comments?

This book kept my interest and the narrator did an AMAZING job~~~~

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 15-08-18

Very informative. <br />

This book opened my eyes to a lot of things and confirmed things I had already suspected. I recommend it 100%.

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  • karen mancera
  • 28-02-17

This helped me.

It was like the scenarios that were talked about I was reliving the past 5 years of my life. I thought I was going crazy, wanting to go back or hoping she'd miss me. Realizing what I really am to her and learning about NPD I feel stronger in keeping no contact.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 03-01-19

Great!

I just got out of a relationship with someone who threw me for a whim. Nothing made sense: the lies, the drama, the lies, the chaos, the lies, the women, the lies, the multiple break ups (on his end), the lies, the cheating, oh and did I mention the lies? I knew something was wrong with him but it helps to put a name to it. I would never treat others the way he treated me. He ultimately discarded me in an extremely cruel way. The hardest part was accepting he never loved or respected me. He never would, he doesn’t know how. I know, due to my family origin, i am codependent. I take the blame for relationship issues and think I can teach someone how to love me, no matter the expense to my self-worth or peace. Ultimately, I will be happy he left me and I do believe I will “win” in the end but it doesn’t take away the emotional pain this experience and this person put me through. This book explains the exact same type of abuse I endured (although the example in this book is “child’s play” next to my experience but it’s not a competition 😉 Abuse is abuse). I am now working on forgiving him and myself for allowing him to use me/hurt me. It’s difficult but I do think this experience will teach me to love myself more. I truly felt that the author/narrator has experienced my struggle and the way the narrator speaks to you feels so personal which is needed at this time as this can be a very isolating experience. My job now is to notice these red flags when they present themselves and run FAR FAR away!!!!!

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  • Leah
  • 21-12-18

Good informational handbook. <br />

this is a great starter book for someone just learning about this disorder. easy to read/listen to and understand.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 26-11-18

Helpful read

Well done and informative book, it helped me better understand the actions of my ex.

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  • Carper3212
  • 25-11-18

Understanding The Narcissistic Person

I really enjoyed this book
It gave me an understanding of what a Narcissistic person is, BIG INSIGHT eye opener. I was so confused of what had just happened in my relationship. This book describes our relationship to the T!!! Couldn’t be much happier!!! I can NOW move on and KNOW that it was NOT my fault.

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  • Christina
  • 04-11-18

This is the only explanation/closure I received...as my world was turned upside down.

If I could personally thank the Author for writing this book, I would. This is the only closure I had, which is hard after a 4 year relationship and being engaged for a year. I sold my home, packed up my life and my sons life and moved to another county for him, closer to his job/friends. Little did I know, I would be left on my own to pay for and manage everything on my own.
It will be a year this Dec. (2 days before Christmas) since the relationship ended horribly & I‘m still rebuilding everyday.
Single mom, work full time, hour commute to and from, and I now had a home to maintain and afford on my own and knew no one, had no friends, and had to start over. now have a home to maintain on my own, so making time for therapy wasn’t an option for me.

Prior to being torn apart from a full blown Narcissistic, I had never heard of this mental illness, nor did I think I would fall into a situation like this, but it happened and it destroyed me. I am still rebuilding, the damage caused has impacted me to a level that I never imagined possible and brings tears to my eyes to this day.
Hearing what others went through is helpful. Yet a lot of books spend too much time explaining what NPD is and the behaviors.

Once you have established that you dated a Narcissist (lucky you) it would be helpful to have more ideas on learning how to cope, heal, recover, rebuild yourself and where to start. It’s overwhelming.