Look What You Made Me Do cover art

Look What You Made Me Do

A Powerful Memoir of Coercive Control

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About this listen

For more than two years, BBC Radio 4's The Archers ran a disturbing storyline centred on Helen Tichener's abuse at the hands of her husband Rob. Not the kind of abuse that leaves a bruise, but the sort of coercive control that breaks your spirit and makes it almost impossible to walk away.

As she listened to the unfolding story, Helen Walmsley-Johnson was forced to confront her own agonising past. Helen's first husband controlled her life, from the people she saw to what was in her bank account. He alienated her from friends and family, and even from their three daughters. Eventually, he threw her out and she painfully began to rebuild her life.

Then, divorced and in her early 40s, she met Franc. Kind, charming, considerate Franc. For 10 years she would be in his thrall, even when he too was telling her what to wear, what to eat, even what to think.

Look What You Made Me Do is her candid and utterly gripping memoir of how she was trapped by a smiling abuser, not once but twice. It is a vital guide to recognising, understanding and surviving this sinister form of abuse and its often terrible legacy. It is also an inspirational account of how one woman found the courage to walk away.

Jacket photograph © Reilika Landen / Arcangel

Author photograph © Martin Argles

Design: Ami Smithson, Pan Macmillan Art Department

©2018 Helen Walmsley-Johnson (P)2018 Audible, Ltd
Abuse Domestic Partner Abuse Dysfunctional Families Dysfunctional Relationships Parenting & Families Personal Development Relationships Women Memoir Inspiring Thought-Provoking
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Although I am glad I picked this book and I am also glad I went through it, it was also one of the hardest books to listen to because of the whole story described in it. (I mostly listen to my audiobooks while running and I believe I went for a run less often with this book.)

This book describes, in painful details, how coercive control starts, works and what could be its consequences.
Well, there are actually two toxic relationships in the book for the price of one as part of the book describes Helen being harassed by her boss in her job.

Although the narration is a little bit on the dull side, more than one time I told myself - Ok, it is narrated by the author, so at least Helen survived, so that is ok.

Very unsettling

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This was a very sad story told with great sensitivity. It was so beautifully read.

Brilliant

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A brave and courageous sharing of one woman’s experience of abuse and coercive control in her personal (and professional) relationships. It was interesting to hear her reflect on her experiences and identify patterns of behavior in both herself and her abusers. She showed great self-awareness and insight. I felt like I walked alongside her on her journey and was delighted when she discovered the strength to finally escape the cycle of abuse and go on to fulfill her full potential. I realise how difficult this must have been and how scary and daunting it can be for many women (and men) to leave their abusive partner. I think it’s so important to keep records/notes of abuse like Helen did, or to confide in a trusted friend or family member or seek support from specialists organizations like Women’s Aid. You don’t have to go through this on your own, no-one is going to judge you or force you to leave if you aren’t ready to. They can provide emotional and practical support and identify safe places to go in an emergency. Sometimes the first step is just talking to someone and exploring your options.

Insightful, very well written and provides hope

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Thank you for sharing your story Helen. You share it with such disarming honest and vulnerability.

As a man I have realised that the scars that I've inadvertently left and that I've personally experienced are real.

I am Helen and I am Frank.

Gut wrenching and heart warming at the same time

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Powerful, enthralling, factual, reflective. An amazing book I listened to without stopping till i finished.

Designates so much with my own experiences.

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