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Hurts So Good

The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose

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Hurts So Good

By: Leigh Cowart
Narrated by: Leigh Cowart
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About this listen

 "A thoughtful, funny, and at times lyrical" (Wall Street Journal) exploration of why people all over the world love to engage in pain on purpose--from dominatrices, religious ascetics, and ultramarathoners to ballerinas, icy ocean bathers, and sideshow performers

Masochism is sexy, human, reviled, worshiped, and delightfully bizarre. Deliberate and consensual pain has been with us for millennia, encompassing everyone from Black Plague flagellants to ballerinas dancing on broken bones to competitive eaters choking down hot peppers while they cry.

At its core, masochism is about feeling bad, then better—a phenomenon that is long overdue for a heartfelt and hilarious investigation. And Cowart would know: They are not just a researcher and science writer, they’re an inveterate, high-sensation seeking masochist. In Hurts So Good, Cowart unveils how our minds and bodies find meaning and relief in pain—a quirk in our programming that drives discipline and innovation even as it threatens to swallow us whole. Biological Sciences Extreme Sports Neuroscience & Neuropsychology Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Science Funny Witty Heartfelt

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Critic reviews

“There’s possibly no one alive more qualified to write about pain than Leigh Cowart. A thoughtful, funny, and at times lyrical look at pain and its deeper human meaning.”—The Wall Street Journal
“Briskly interweaving history, biology, and reportage…Leigh’s exploded view of pain is an essential component of the excavation of pleasure for which we’re long overdue….Courageous, diverting, and written with dark good humor.”—Good Advice/Bad Gay
“Informative explanations of the neurobiology of pain and pleasure, and plenty of personal reflection on the author’s own relationship to masochism. Queasy readers need not apply…Cowart’s raw study offers insight."—Publishers Weekly
“Cowart has endless compassion for humans trying to find meaning and purpose while trapped in our fallible meat sacks. Hurts So Good is funny, explicit, and oddly wholesome.”—Caitlin Doughty, author of the New York Times bestseller Smoke Gets in Your Eyes
“It’s testament to Leigh Cowart’s skill and charm that a book about pain should feel so joyful, that a deeply taboo subject should get such a bright and vivid airing, and that experiences that should induce winces instead trigger laughs and moments of deep profundity. Hurts So Good is a book of wonderful paradoxes—a rich, hilarious, and endlessly fascinating look at a world that most of us know but few of us understand.”
—Ed Yong, Pulitzer Prize-winner and author of I Contain Multitudes
“A thorough examination of a widely-shared human experience. Cowart blends memoir with research and observation deftly, and boldly shares the gritty details of her own sensation-seeking body. Relevant to anyone seeking to understand their own relationship with physicality. A must-read for those of us who find ourselves trying to explain so many complex things about our relationships to pain.”
—Stoya, writer and pornographer
“Hurts So Good is a high wire act during which Cowart weaves together the science of enduring pain for pleasure with their own personal, maniacally visceral experiences. The latter scenes are written so vividly—blood, guts, excrement, swollen and frozen bodies—that, at times, Cowart seems to be daring the reader not to finish. But finish you should, because there's no better exploration of masochism's appeal."—Elon Green, author of Last Call: A True Story of Love, Lust and Murder in Queer New York
All stars
Most relevant
Genuinely excellent read about how we as people seek out pain. Cowman looks at the socially sanctioned pursuits like competitive spicy food and long distance running, as well as more stigmatized activities like BDSM. The descriptions vividly detail scenes that are both delightful and gory. These snapshots of 'pain on purpose' underpinned by thorough research on pain and how we perceive it

Excellent look at pain

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this book made my laugh, cry, feel and learn. it entertains and teaches at the same time and even people not in the scene will learn a lot. As a non-machochist, thank you!

amazing book and masterly told

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Realising just how expansive and personal the human experience of pain on purpose is - and how common it is - has helped me realise that my own desire for it isn't as pathological as I thought. I like the open ending; the author not being able to give a clear answer on why people seek out pain on purpose. She calls it unsatisfying, I call it perfect. There's no one-size-fits-all reason for seeking out pain on purpose, and doing so in small amounts may even have more health benefits than we realise!

Her narration and descriptions are wonderful; she has such a way with words that makes you really feel the moment with her.

The section about the email from the marathon event host was both disappointing and unsurprising, but what I loved about it was how clearly it made the message of this book shine through; that people (especially rugged cisgender men) will absolutely squirm if you suggest that they may be enjoying the pain they inflict upon themselves more than they realise. My personal hypothesis for why this is, is that it reduces the hypermasculine need to be seen as strong and stoic in the face of pain, down to a more vulnerable and honest state of pleasure for pleasure's sake. It reminds me of the anime trope of a tsundere character saying "it's not like I like it or anything!" I greatly respect the author for standing her ground, getting herself re-invited to the event and even remaining confident in her analysis of the whole event. While the event host may have claimed that the goal of the competition was not simply to endure pain, the author still begged to differ.

I know this book isn't supposed to be a motivational or personal development book, but I have nevertheless been inspired to incorporate the benign aspects of my masochism into more areas of my life, from cold showers, to spicy food and even exercise. She mentions how context changes everything in terms of our perception of pain, and she's absolutely right! Changing my perspective from "I'm taking a cold shower because it has health benefits" to "I'm taking a cold shower for shxts and giggles, and because it'll feel good" helped me actually enjoy a cold shower for the first time in my life, and now I don't think I'll be going back!

Helped me feel like less of a freak

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