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How to Forget

A Daughter's Memoir

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About this listen

In this profoundly honest and examined memoir about returning to Iowa to care for her ailing parents, the star of Orange Is the New Black and bestselling author of Born with Teeth takes us on an unexpected journey of loss, betrayal, and the transcendent nature of a daughter’s love for her parents.

They say you can’t go home again. But when her father is diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer and her mother with atypical Alzheimer’s, New York-based actress Kate Mulgrew returns to her hometown in Iowa to spend time with her parents and care for them in the time they have left.

The months Kate spends with her parents in Dubuque—by turns turbulent, tragic, and joyful—lead her to reflect on each of their lives and how they shaped her own. Those ruminations are transformed when, in the wake of their deaths, Kate uncovers long-kept secrets that challenge her understanding of the unconventional Irish Catholic household in which she was raised.

Breathtaking and powerful, laced with the author’s irreverent wit, How to Forget is a considered portrait of a mother and a father, an emotionally powerful memoir that demonstrates how love fuses children and parents, and an honest examination of family, memory, and indelible loss.

 Dysfunctional Families Dysfunctional Relationships Grief & Loss Parenting & Families Personal Development Relationships Memoir Witty Heartfelt
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Mulgrew gives a loving testament to the life of her father and mother. Whilst I was drawn to this as a caregiver to my disabled brother (and increasingly elderly mother) and as a “Voyager” fan, it was the witness she bore to her father and mother as they had lived that I found so intriguing, when caring and death can be so ritualised to cope with the unbearable. You cannot fault Mulgrew as a story teller or her performance as a narrater. She empties the pockets, there is nothing left to give, as she surrenders to us what is being experienced, felt and remembered. The hours went by listening.

Family - warts and all - the more beautiful for it

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Beautifully written and honest look at one’s parents. Looking honestly at their struggles there triumphs, faults and strengths. And a child’s relationship with their parents over a lifetime and coming to terms with losing the ones they love. Well worth listening too.

A worthy follow up to Born With Teeth

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A beautifully read, honest and heartbreaking account of a family that had endured much sadness over the years. I believe Kate Mulgrew is an amazing writer and narrator, and the love for her parents, siblings, her children and Lucy and Javier shine through in a way that if the book had been narrated by anyone else, would have been lost.
This book could have been a depressing experience, but with Kate’s honesty and humour it was an uplifting, interesting and unforgettable read, and I expect to return to it again and again.

Poignant and unforgettable

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I love Kate’s writing, and story telling style. There is so much real life courage, love, honesty, heartbreak, humor and a basic enthusiasm for life and family. A wonderful book.

An absolutely wonderful book.

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having read 'Born with teeth', I half expected this to be just a rehash of the same material but it isn't. Some of the same topics are there but it's cleverly written and with more depth.

This book is a lovely long journey well worth taking, written with love and full of emotion.

Highly reccomend.

kept my addicted to the end

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