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How to Fire Your Husband in Easy Steps cover art

How to Fire Your Husband in Easy Steps

By: Christel Holst-Sande Cowdrey
Narrated by: Christel Holst-Sande Cowdrey
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Summary

“Oh, my husband? I fired him!”

When Christel divorced her husband, she was expected to fall into a ditch and become more than a fulsome, grizzly member of the lemon-lipped ‘divorced women’s club’. Instead, she made a vow that she would stay sane for her children and those around her, uttering nothing negative about anyone and forging herself forward, into a new space.

A quarter of a century had collapsed around her, but the memory of her parent’s failed marriage held her focus - she was not going to embody any bitterness or repeat the mistakes she had witnessed as a teenager. Many waited for her to launch an attack and were disappointed and confused when she was prepared to walk away without retribution, an action that would have blackened every precious memory.

Christel worried: she knew that every step and every word would be witnessed and recorded by their sons; she loathed the absence of thought in parents, creating such heartache in their children whilst absorbed in their grief. Marriage, or in this case, the end of her marriage, was about all of their lives, the lives of four people (and three dogs).

Today, harmony reigns–she recalls her mission fulfilled and a triumph.

You cannot extinguish a family.

©2023 Christel Cowdrey (P)2023 Christel Cowdrey

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A story of kindness and family values

I recommend this book - very useful if you are going through a divorce. Christel's parents went through a divorce and her mother was so bitter it changed Christel's attitude as to how she navigated the pain of divorcing without it affecting her sons.

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A truly wonderful book about far more than “divorce” alone. Must read.

Across my two hour (there and back) drive to work and a lovely long lunch break in the ☀️, I have devoured it ALL in that time.

Aside from the fact it was the most beautiful narration I think I’ve ever listened to (content aside - I kept imagining I was listening to a Famous Five book 😊) there was so much insight in here, I had to take notes!

The title made me assume (wrongly) it would be about one thing (divorce - of which is highly relevant for me), but this is absolutely a book about and for life:

So many words and pages filled me with confidence, reassurance, advice; particularly about the decisions I have been making recently - like ensuring I move forward from my own divorce with grace, courage, kindness and now (what I’ll always refer to as) “self concern” (chapter 33 gold!).

A real theme - for me at least - was one of learning from one’s generational and inherited trauma, experiences, lessons…

I for one - as a daughter of a Jewish man who’s family all of which except his parents were murdered in WWII, and an Irish Catholic woman who grew up in and around vicious abuse - I have definitely witnessed the power of “inherited trauma”, and it’s cyclical effect on future generations and it’s power on decision making and behaviour. Thankfully I have and will consciously endeavour to break those cycles, but it felt very validating to listen to this and relay it to my own experiences.

I have loved re establishing my relationship with my father; understanding what makes him him, asking about his life experiences and adversities to try and understand what got him here and so on.

This book really made me feel courage and conviction in that decision to form a new bond with him, and I’m going to continue investing in that now particularly as he is 78 this year, guilt free.

One final fun note - it was so magical to visualise the two springer spaniels in the countryside as it brought me back to my childhood with our two springers in the East Sussex countryside. Those memories of which had become a bit of a dark cloud mainly because of what happened in my life afterwards, but your opening chapters I think really express the importance of not darkening good memories - relationships or childhoods, it’s all the same, and that sentiment really helped me.

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