Hold Me Under
Water, Air, Earth, Fire, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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J.F. Harding
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Stephen Dexter
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By:
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Riley Nash
About this listen
Love is cheap. Love is cruel. Love can’t save us.
Victor Lang had everything—looks, money, fame. A chance to become the greatest swimmer in history. Until a failed dope test brought him crashing down.
According to the rumors, he turned into a recluse, a drug addict, a whore. Broken beyond repair. Incapable of love.
And for some reason, he’s set his sights on me.
A freak accident in his pool throws me into a world of wealth and status and people who are willing to do anything to get what they want. Before I know it, I’m being paid to fly to Italy and pose as his boyfriend. Trapped at his side, I learn what it means to truly hate someone.
Turns out, that’s exactly what he wants.
I can’t save him, and I can’t love him. But as things fall apart and I discover the truths he’s hiding, I learn that hate can be greater than love—an obsession, a prayer, dark days and darker nights, a need to be the only one who hurts him. Hate can heal the worst wounds love leaves behind.
But I have problems of my own, a broken spirit and loved ones to protect. And I’m scared to face the things he’s waking up inside of me.
A gritty, emotional, epic hate-to-love slow burn with an inexperienced top and his bratty bottom, hurt/comfort, obsession, and healing.
Contains dark themes, adult content, and potential triggers, though every effort was made to portray them thoughtfully and sensitively.
Specific triggers (potential spoilers): sexual abuse (off the page), suicidal ideation, drug abuse, disordered eating, trauma, death, mental illness, homophobic language
©2022 Riley Nash (P)2022 Riley NashListener received this title free
Both main characters have drama tattooed on their forehead. On one hand, you have Ethan, who didn’t have much luck in life and dropped out of school to take care of his mother suffering from dementia. On the other hand, there’s Victor, former swimming prodigy and current fuck up with too much money and time on his hands. They couldn’t be more different–coming from different sides of the tracks, expecting something different from relationships, with opposite goals. Of course it’s unlikely they end up together. Until they’re forced into a fake relationship by Victor’s father.
They’re like puzzle pieces that should fit but are too covered in grime and dirt that they can’t see how they could. But their proximity during the fake relationship gig will make them come clean. They even end up seeing sides of themselves they never intuited.
Because it’s a dark romance, their relationship is still quite toxic, bathed in anger, self-loathing, and manipulation. Red flags abound. To be honest, it’s kind of a miracle that they get their happily ever after. Not sure co-dependency is the best foundation for a relationship. They make it work, though, and they grow up and change a lot by being together. In a way, they were the best thing that could happen to each other, even though the journey isn’t a peaceful one.
Victor is soon to be revealed as passive, almost a victim. His father orders him around like he’s his pet; his former teammates know no boundaries and he doesn’t correct them. There are hints at what happened to him, but the full extent is revealed near the end, and it’s a punch in the gut. As for Ethan’s situation, we know right from the start that he’s in denial and it’ll never get better, and he dives right into Victor’s drama–maybe to gain some control?
We don’t see much of the people around them, besides a handful of friends and family. The book revolves around Ethan and Victor and the way their relationship evolves. That’s it. No real deeper meaning or theme. Maybe some clinical depiction of depression, but it’s more character development than theme. There’s also a subtle advocacy, but I won’t spoil anything.
The couple of narrators were perfect for their character, and perfect together. The voices they did for the other’s character were spot on, making the dual narration work great. They’ll make you feel for sure.
They’ll make you feel for sure
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Listener received this title free
Right from the beginning this story is an emotional heartbreaker. Both guys have such big issues in their past that shaped their personalities.
Victor is an ex professional swimmer who it appears ruined his chances at an Olympic medal. Six years ago everything in his life came to a point of no return and he has been a shut in since. His attitude is beyond rude and his outlook is dangerous. And then he meets Ethan.
Ethan is a guy who had dreams of college when his mom got sick and he had to put his dreams aside to care for her. He does everything he can to pay the bills but it leaves little for him. When doing his job at Victor’s house he has a run in with Victor. Right from the start there is this personality clash that is the start of love/hate.
Then Victor’s dad gets involved and makes Ethan a offer he can’t refuse. While fulfilling this agreement Victor and Ethan get a lot more time together. This is when all the backgrounds of these guys starts playing out in their daily lives.
I don’t feel I can begin to do justice reviewing this story. There is so much that just tore me apart listening to it. I could not help but feel sorry for Ethan for having to give up his dreams and settle for a life far different than he wanted.
Mostly I had a hard time with the emotional rollercoaster Victor’s story gave me. The author does an excellent job of leading me to almost hate the guy for his perceived behavior. At the end, even though the story ends well I still felt bad because there is nothing that can really fix Victor. He is the perfect example of life treating someone unfairly.
I feel J.F. Harding and Stephen Dexter did a perfect job with the characters they represented and the situations they dealt with. I could have never read the book and got the experience I did without the narration.
Intense all the way through
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Listener received this title free
This may be my first book by this author but it won’t be my last.
A complimentary copy of this audiobook was provided to me at my request and my review was voluntary and not influenced by the author and/or narrator.
Perfect audio performance, great story!
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Listener received this title free
This story is intense, challenging and heartbreaking at it's core.
I was intrigued by Ethan and Victor, one with the weight of his world crushing him and one trying to escape his world.
I feel like this was a fresh take on enemies to lovers, it's not like any others I've read. it's firey and passionate but the underlying "hate" is more frustration, former teenage infatuation and their own life guilt manifesting itself into an intense connection. they have more in common than they ever thought possible.
I've been dragged under and I think this one is going to stay with me for a long time!
powerful, heartbreaking
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Listener received this title free
Hold Me Under
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