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We know that social connection enriches our lives—so why do we hesitate to connect?

There is a fundamental paradox at the core of human life. We are a highly social species uniquely equipped to connect with other people and doing so is better for us. Yet we so often choose to be unsocial. We avoid talking to the stranger who sits next to us. We struggle to move beyond small talk with an acquaintance. We are reluctant to express our gratitude to people we appreciate. Every day, we avoid opportunities to connect with strangers, neighbours, colleagues, friends and family. By missing those moments, we miss out on all the benefits of a more social life—one that is happier and healthier for everyone.

University of Chicago psychologist and author of Mindwise, Nicholas Epley has spent his career studying the way we connect, and he has found that our social fears often keep us from reaching out. But bridging the gap between two people is easier than we think—and success is more likely than we imagine. We just have to be a little more social. Epley shows us how to seize the small moments with insights such as:

• Social connection is a choice we make based on expectations about how others will respond to us—expectations that tend to be overly pessimistic.
• Introverts and extroverts alike benefit from choosing to be a little more social.
• Mistaken expectations can cause us to avoid interacting in ways that create strong connections—such as having a conversation—in favor of less satisfying interactions—such as social media or texting.
• While many books promise one big fix, making a habit of small connections is much more likely to improve your life.
• The habits and practices that Epley advocates are approachable. The beauty of this book is that small acts have an outsized impact on the most important parts of our lives.

Epley draws on decades of research, his own experiences, and the stories of everyday people to deliver groundbreaking conclusions about the psychology behind our social decisions. Hello shows how we can put science into practice and change our lives, one small choice at a time.

© Nicholas Epley 2026 (P) Penguin Audio 2026