He Said, She Said
Truth, Trauma and the Struggle for Justice in Family Court
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He Said, She Said
Narrated by:
Charlotte Proudman
Buy Now for £12.99
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Narrated by:
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Charlotte Proudman
About this listen
Award-winning barrister Charlotte Proudman has dedicated her working life to representing women who find themselves in need of help from the family law courts. Time and again, she has watched as these women are let down by the system that is supposed to protect them. Seeking only justice and safety, they have instead been met with cruelty and disdain, deemed unreliable witnesses compared to the men who abused them.
From family courts failing to protect victims from abusers to the misogynistic bullying Charlotte herself receives from senior members of her profession, the problem is clear: no matter their circumstances, women across the country are suffering at the hands of a legal system built by men.
But change is on the horizon. In He Said, She Said, Proudman gives voice to the women whose stories are all too often brushed aside in the name of giving abusers 'the benefit of the doubt'. Through real-life cases spanning forced marriage, domestic abuse, child abduction and female genital mutilation, Proudman highlights the troubling biases and shocking prejudice that underlie our legal system - and in a book that is at once thrilling, engaging and deeply compassionate, puts forward her own inspiring vision for long-term change.
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Critic reviews
A triumph. Proudman is a brave outspoken barrister. Here she exposes the rooted biases that harm women and children in the family courts; her searing analysis puts the system in the dock but also provides a roadmap for reform. Press this book into the hands of policy makers, politicians . . . and every judge (BARONESS HELENA KENNEDY)
Proudman is a fearless campaigner for women's rights, unafraid to tackle misogyny wherever she sees it. Her indictment of the inequalities in the legal system should be required reading by lawyers and lawmakers alike (CATHY NEWMAN)
This important book will shock you. And you will also be inspired and uplifted by the countless women who don't and won't give up (VICTORIA DERBYSHIRE)
An indictment of a legal system that protects abusers at the expense of survivors. Charlotte Proudman exposes the biases and institutional failures that silence women and endanger children with clarity and conviction. He Said She Said is a call to action (CAROL VORDERMAN)
This remarkable book offers a compelling and insightful examination of the devastating impact of misogyny. Drawing from real-life experiences - both her own and those of her clients - Proudman exposes injustices that have remained hidden for far too long. A powerful and necessary revelation (CHERIE BLAIR CBE KC)
A profoundly urgent, necessary book that everyone must read . . . a much-needed intervention in our national conversation around the justice system and the myriad ways in which it fails and silences women. He Said, She Said is an inspiring and moving call to arms, a rallying cry and a beacon of hope (LUCIA OSBORNE-CROWLEY)
Proudman's eloquent arguments, scholarship and first-hand experience of fighting for justice for women and their children makes this book essential reading. As inspirational as it is shocking in its revelations of prejudice and misogyny, Proudman gives us an invaluable bird's eye view into processes that, until recently, were conducted in secrecy. Combining memoir with case illustrations, the book is beautifully written, informative and rightfully disturbing (ANNA MOTZ, author of A LOVE THAT KILLS)
Phenomenal. An exposè of the misogyny embedded in the family court system, exposing how it routinely fails to protect victims while enabling abusers. Drawing on real accounts from women forced to navigate these hostile legal battles, Proudman reveals a system where survivors are disbelieved, silenced and retraumatised. This is an urgent and necessary read, one that shows the truth surrounding family courts and demands change (PATSY STEVENSON)
Proudman carefully dissects the misuse of the family courts by perpetrators to pursue domestic abuse survivors and their children. A must read for anyone seeking to build a society safe for women and girls (APSANA BEGUM MP)
Important story let down by the narration
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Dr Charlotte Proudman is a hero!
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refreshingly honest view of the family justice system
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That said, I did find the book felt a little one-sided at times. While it’s absolutely right to highlight the widespread issue of male violence against women (and Dr Proudman does this with real insight) it’s also important to acknowledge that abuse can be perpetrated by both men and women. Cases like Richard and Sheree Spencer’s, featured in the Netflix documentary My Wife, My Abuser, show that reality quite starkly.
This book sheds much-needed light on the injustices within the family courts, particularly how they can fail victims of abuse. That part is powerful. But as someone who believes in true equality, I found it surprising that the book didn’t address the experiences of male victims at all. Especially given that, in private Children Act proceedings, 96% of legal aid recipients are women and, many allegations are made without findings or even arrests. That’s an imbalance we can't ignore.
I really wish Dr Proudman had written (or might consider writing in the future) a book that covers domestic abuse in all its forms, affecting both men and women, and focuses more squarely on the systemic failures of the courts. A book centred on the children caught in these cases, rather than drawing repeated comparisons to her own (albeit remarkable) childhood experiences, would in my view be truly ground-breaking.
I say all of this with genuine respect. Dr Proudman is clearly a brilliant and passionate individual, and her voice is so important in this space. But if she were to focus more on the core issues, and less on a singular narrative, I honestly believe she could be instrumental in changing legislation for the better.
Still, Dr Proudman, please do keep going. You’re doing vital work, and you are undoubtedly a remarkable human being.
A Vital Voice in Family Law, Though Not the Full Picture
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The truth
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