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Summary

A courageous account of one woman's unflinching and ultimately hopeful journey through sex and porn addiction.

A fixation on porn and orgasm, strings of failed relationships and serial hook-ups with strangers, inevitable blackouts to blunt the shame - these are not things we often hear women share publicly, and not with the candor, eloquence and introspection Erica Garza brings to Getting Off.

What sets this courageous and riveting account apart from your typical misery memoir is the absence of any precipitating trauma beyond the garden variety of hurt we've all had to endure in simply becoming a person - reckoning with family, learning to be social, integrating what it means to be sexual. Whatever tenor of violence or abuse Erica's life took on through her behavior was of her own making, fueled by fear, guilt, self-loathing, self-pity, loneliness, and the hopelessness those feelings brought on as she runs from one side of the world to the other in an effort to break her habits - from East Los Angeles to Hawaii and Southeast Asia, through the brothels of Bangkok and the yoga studios of Bali to disappointing stabs at therapy and 12-steps back home.

In this remarkable audiobook, Garza draws an evocative, studied portrait of the anxiety that fuels her obsessions as well as the exhilaration and hope she begins to feel when she suspects she might be free of them. And yet there is no false or prepackaged sense of redemption here. Even her relationship with the man she will ultimately marry seems credibly, painfully rocky as it finds its legs with several false starts. Erica's increasing sense of self-acceptance and peace by journey's end feels utterly earned and absent of recovery platitudes.

In exploring the cultural taboos surrounding sex and porn from a female perspective, Garza offers a brave and necessary voice to our evolving conversations about addiction and the impact that Internet culture has had on us all.

©2018 Erica Garza (P)2018 Simon & Schuster

What members say

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  • s
  • 22-06-18

A self obsessed weirdo

This weirdo doesn’t have any way to fix her as she is just an insecure white worshipping person who has a severe ingrained inferiority complex about being non white.

Just got bored of the endless stories of her shagging around and in the end she just learns to keep shagging around but not feel ashamed about it.

I didn’t know how insecurity can be linked to promiscuity . All you Can take away from this book is that if someone treats you like shit. They are a pile of shit themselves and there is no point beating yourself up about it. They don’t respect themselves and the don’t respect others.

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  • Brady Fehr
  • 27-01-18

Fascinating venture into the mid of a highly sexual woman

I found this book to be very honest, raw, and very interesting. Extremely well written and superbly narrated. As a man who has crossed path’s with women like Erica this really helped explain much. Women are complicated so every time I read a book or meet a woman with such astounding honesty and insight I learn and understand more (last one was “Wild”). Despite the title this book this isn’t a series of graphic descriptions about raunchy sex, if that’s what you’re looking for then skip it. In my opinion this book is about the need to balance sexuality, whether you’re a man or a woman, the porn addition is just one part of the whole picture. I look forward to reading more from Erica, and not just about sex. She’s clearly very intelligent and I’m sure she’ll use that talent writing about all types of subjects.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Pauline Campos
  • 08-07-18

Incredible Book

As a writer, I like to tell myself that I don't have a filter and don't care what anyone thinks about the words I write and the stories I share. After reading Garza's tale, I realize I am nowhere near achieving the level of bravery and IDGAF that Garza obviously has mastered. Her tale is unique to hers, as all of ours our, but somehow, even without having been through any of Garza's experiences, I completely related to her feelings. The self-doubt. The belief that we're not good enough no matter what. The need to be loved. The automatic tendency to stay as far as effing possible from those who would love us as we truly deserve. Convincing ourselves that we've turned ourselves around and just know that *this* time, we won't let ourselves go back to the darkest places we've been - we're stronger now. Finding ourselves back in those dark places without really knowing how we fell back down there, and resigning ourselves to the fact that this who we are. Then finally realizing it's not us we need to change, because it's us we need to accept, imperfections and all.
Garza takes the reader on a story that is sometimes hard to hear, sometimes harder to believe, and sometimes even more shocking to think she put her name and face on it. The narration is spot on, makes it easier for the reader to listen to what we may shy away from reading.
I walked away from Getting Off with an incredible respect for Garza. Her story is a powerful one that took a very brave woman indeed to share with the world, and I am so glad she did.

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  • Robert Zaichick
  • 24-06-18

very disappointed 😞

I, struggled to get through this boring plodding story. There is so little discussion of sex and porn addiction. It failed to grab my attention on many levels. Poorly written . Title does.not do it justice .

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  • Bernadette Banda
  • 01-05-18

Finished it in two days

I found I could have been the one in this book. I no longer feel weird; thank you for bringing to light this unspeakable addiction

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  • Margaret
  • 23-04-18

Garza avoids a few important issues

If you've ever wondered how sex or porn could be an addiction, Eric Garza spells it out for you in this memoir - from her exposure to porn in her teenaged years that probably set her erotic expectations, to some callous first sexual experiences (sometimes he's the heel, sometimes it is Garza), to hookups and stoned/drunk sex that doesn't mean anything. She does a great job walking the reader through how an addiction like this can happen, and an ok job showing us one path to recovery.

Where I got truly uncomfortable was Garza's oblivion to her impact on other people and her remarkable privilege. Though she's drawn to the darker side of pornography (not just the Stormy Daniels, high production value type, but the really hard core stuff), she focuses on her own need and choice to feel humiliated without acknowledging that the women she viewed in those rough films were probably victims of sex trafficking or worse. She passes months doing yoga and finding herself in Bali and Thailand, describes the sex and "girl bar" cultures vividly, without ever acknowledging that without rich visitors spending their money there, those working girls might have had other options.

Our biggest problem with sex isn't that some people are addicted to it, or addicted to their own sense of shame. Our biggest problem is that the porn and prostitution industry depends on human trafficking, desperation and the misery of women and children to feed the scale of the demand. Garza just doesn't get it.

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  • Kerri
  • 23-01-18

Can’t empathize with author

The pain the author describes did not resonate. The writing was just okay, & the narrator mispronounced words & did terrible accents. I have hundreds of Kindle books & a few on Audible, but I had to return this one. It had no heartbeat. The promiscuity didn’t offend me; her crap personality did.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • HonestOpin
  • 13-01-18

A Rose is a Rose is a Rose

I struggle with how to write a review of "Getting Off." From a literary aspect I highly commend the author, Erica Garza. Her writing skill is dazzling and amazing. I applaud her personal openness and honesty in telling her story. So refreshing. I also highly commend the superb Audible narration of Joy Osmanski. I was intensely captivated by Garza's story from start to finish. I literally devoured it. Nevertheless,in the end I was left immensely disappointed. I guess I was hoping for a message of hope and redemption, not ultimate denial; salvation, forgiveness, and power to dominate sin, not nullification of legitimate guilt and shame. As creatures made in the image of God we are no doubt complex, and from the time we commence our lives, we all commence the process of going astray. To make matters worse, our fellow strayers and time, partner together and help push us farther and farther and farther away. Our ruts grow deeper and deeper. And yet, God remains unchanged and near. He is the Great Physician. We are told Christ came into the world, not to condemn us, but to save us. This is the next stage. My hope is that the author discovers this additional "fourth stage," and likewise others.

3 of 10 people found this review helpful

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  • andrew howard
  • 01-03-18

repetitive

the book was good for the first 2 hours then it was just repetitive over and over. to sum it up it's pretty much about a privilege whore who has lots of regrettable sex and hates herself for it.

0 of 3 people found this review helpful