Dummy cover art

Dummy

The Comedy and Chaos of Real-Life Parenting

 Preview
Get this deal Try Premium Plus free
Offer ends 29 January 2026 at 11:59PM GMT.
Prime members: New to Audible? Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Just £0.99/mo for your first 3 months of Audible.
1 bestseller or new release per month—yours to keep.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, podcasts, and Originals.
Auto-renews at £8.99/mo after 3 months. Cancel monthly.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
£8.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically.

Dummy

By: Matt Coyne
Narrated by: Matt Coyne
Get this deal Try Premium Plus free

£8.99/mo after 3 months. Cancel monthly. Offer ends 29 January 2026 at 11:59PM GMT.

£8.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.

Buy Now for £12.99

Buy Now for £12.99

LIMITED TIME OFFER | £0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Premium Plus auto-renews at £8.99/mo after 3 months. Terms apply.

About this listen

 **THE SUNDAY TIMES TOP 10 BESTSELLER**

'The night before Charlie was born I had this dream. I dreamt that I was a soldier, riding into battle ... completely naked, and on the back of a large, inflatable duck.'

Matt Coyne has become a hero for thousands of parents everywhere who are devoted followers of his popular blog, Man vs Baby.

This is his book, and it is not your average parenting tome. It's packed with completely impractical advice for the bewildered new mum or dad - stuff you won't find anywhere else: from 'Profanity Bingo' for labour to a categorisation of various nappy disasters. But, more than that, it is the story of how becoming a parent is a kind of beautiful insanity - a thing that changes you.

Above all, Dummy will keep you laughing through the exhaustion, the mystery and the madness of bringing up your own children.

This is the parenting book for real people.

Rave reviews for Matt Coyne and Dummy:

'A hero for dads everywhere' Daily Mirror

'Very, Very funny' Phillip Schofield, This Morning

'Hilarious but accurate account of finding your feet as a parent. Matt Coyne's post has struck a chord with parents from all over the world' Daily Mail

'Brutally honest rant on the reality of parenthood has taken the internet by storm' Sunday Telegraph ©2017 Matt Coyne Fatherhood Parenting & Families Relationships Funny Comedy Witty

Listeners also enjoyed...

 Don't Panic! cover art
Daddy Day Care cover art
Brain Rules for Baby (Updated and Expanded) cover art
Try Hard cover art
Mama Still Got It cover art
Your Baby, Your Birth cover art
The Expectant Father (Fifth Edition) cover art
As Good as It Gets cover art
Hypnobirthing cover art
A Normal Family cover art
The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First Year (New Father Series) cover art
Tired and Tested: The Wild Ride Into Parenthood cover art
The Montessori Baby cover art
Parenting the Sh*t out of Life cover art
Happy Mum, Happy Baby cover art
Dadlife cover art
All stars
Most relevant
Matt Coyne is a funny man. He would be funny if he was reading from a menu. The fact that he is talking about his much loved baby son just adds depth and a little pathos at times. I can tell you that there is a passage from this book which is so hilarious I actually had to stop driving before I ended up in a ditch. He’s brilliant; you will be glad you found him

Genuinely brilliant

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
as a new dad was great to hear someone else's journey plus its was hilarious

must read for new dads

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I use Audible because I have a sleep problem - I frequently wake in the early hours and find it hard to fall asleep again. The most effective thing to lull me back to sleep is TV but that turns my usually docile partner into a thing of abject misery, so I don't do it. Instead, Audible and headphones keep me company until I drift back to sleep.

Usually I don't mind the fact that I listen to books in sporadic and sleep-imbued chunks, because the upside is that I do get back to sleep. But this book didn't cut it. Instead, it kept me awake and laughing out loud - thereby waking the sleeping grump monster, who was very close to hiding my headphones in the end.

I actually didn't want to go to sleep, either, because I yearned to hear more of the author's musical Yorkshire gruff and colourful use of the full spectrum of insultative profanity. Both added something beautiful to the tales of teething, nappies, and parenting worries, and left me wanting more. How could I sleep, when I was so fabulously entertained?

I finished the book with bags under my eyes, the aching emptiness of sleep deprivation, and a hint of divorce from the grump monster. So be warned, fellow insomniacs. This book is not for sleeping. It is most definitely faulty.

Insomniacs beware - this book is definitely faulty

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
This is a very good, true and funny book on the early stages on parenting

A lol book for any parent

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Parents to be take take heed! It is all true. I laughed along as every sentence resonates with how we faced these challenges with our first child.

I look forward to the sequel, where Coyne describes his adventures moving into the ranks of the "Broken".

Funny, touching and very therapeutic!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
See more reviews