Don't Lick the Minivan cover art

Don't Lick the Minivan

And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids

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Don't Lick the Minivan

By: Leanne Shirtliffe
Narrated by: Trudie Kessler
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About this listen

As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia's sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia.

In Don't Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the bizarre aspects of parenting in her edgy, honest voice. She explores the hazards of everyday life with children such as:

  • The birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied
  • The time she discovered her twins carving their names into her minivan's paint with rocks
  • The funeral she officiated for "Stripper Barbie"
  • The horror of glitter
  • And much more!

A delayed encounter with postpartum depression helps Shirtliffe to realize that even if she can't teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she's a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for her twins' college - eh, therapy - fund. And possibly her own. Crisply written, Don't Lick the Minivan will have parents laughing out loud and nodding in agreement. Shirtliffe's memoir might not replace a therapist, but it is a lot cheaper.

©2013 Leanne Shirtliffe (P)2013 Audible, Inc.
Brain & Nervous System Children's Health Entertainment & Celebrities Literary History & Criticism Mental Health Motherhood Parenting & Families Physical Illness & Disease Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships United States World Literature Celebrity Health Funny Witty

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Editor reviews

Raising newborn twins in Bangkok wasn't easy, but it was certainly colorful, according to Leanne Shirtliffe's raucously entertaining memoir. From eating deep-fried bugs to entangling with her blunt French hairdresser, Shirtliffe describes parenting abroad with a snappy zest, which is matched by Trudie Kessler, who lends a breezy tone to Shirtliffe's witty observations, ranging from astonishment to self-deprecation. Her examination of post-partum depression interjects a needed dose of poignancy, as does her self-described "sappy" realizations on the joy of motherhood. The locale may be different, but parents will find similarly relatable and hilarious experiences in Don't Lick the Minivan.

Critic reviews

"Leanne Shirtliffe writes with hilarity and poignancy as to the trials and pains (literally) of motherhood. She is our new Erma Bombeck!" (Elizabeth Boyle, New York Times best-selling author)
All stars
Most relevant
Trudie Kessler did an amazing job narrating this book, to the point I had to double-check it hadn't been written by her.

Light-hearted truth telling about what being a parent is really like. The good, the bad, and the post-partum depression. It's all depicted in a wonderfully fun and mater-of-fact way.

It's real. In a world where instagram parents strive to show you how they magically do it all perfectly, this book reassures you that we're all only human - especially once we become parents. And that's okay.

Listening to this book is like having a sippy-cup of wine with an old friend who's been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt and is now giving you her blessing to mess up your own kids. You'll mess them up anyway - with, or without anyone's blessing.

In case you need parenting reassurance...

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Reassuring, candid and everyday. Really enjoyed this listen, absolutely no parental pomp here, would recommend.

Very entertaining, an easy listen

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Loved the story . Laughed the whole way through . The narrator was brilliant putting on different voices for the different characters. Definitely recommend this audiobook

Brilliant

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As the title says I loved this book. I relate to a lot of this I don't have twins but 2 children. I'm the mum who doesn't like or do parties who doesn't take everything so seriously.

Honest and relatable

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I am a twins Mom and I related so well with everything she wrote. I often laughed outloud and I had to share with hubby some of the stories. Highly recommended for an easy fun listen.

Very funny

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