Don’t Feed the Trolls cover art

Don’t Feed the Trolls

The Antiheroes, Book 2

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Don’t Feed the Trolls

By: Jacob Peppers
Narrated by: Roger Clark
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About this listen

Hero checklist for a long and happy life:

  • Step one: Don’t be a hero.
  • Step two: If by some horrible miscalculation, a man finds himself a hero, then he should not, under any circumstances, accept a “quest”. Particularly one including magical rings, swords in stones, or any talk of “chosen ones”. Quests, after all, are only death with a lot of walking beforehand.
  • Step three: If said hero is so foolish as to actually find himself on a quest, he is advised to run heroically for the nearest exit. He’ll die anyway, but if the gods are kind, he’ll do so with an ale in his hand. P.S. The gods are never kind.
  • Step four: If the unfortunate soul is unable to find an exit - or at least one not containing a rampaging troll - he should, by any means necessary, ensure that there are as many people between him and the troll as possible in the hopes that it won’t be hungry by the time it reaches him. P.S. Trolls are always hungry.
  • Step five: If all else fails and a hero finds himself confronting a mythical monster or a magic-wielding necromancer, he is to draw his sword. It won’t help, but it will give him something to do while he waits to die.
  • Step six: If “death” outcome is unacceptable, see steps one through four.

Dannen Ateran had never gone so far as to write the list out, but he knew it by heart. He ought to, as he had been telling it to himself for years, and he - fool that he was - had been ignoring it for just as long.

So it was that he found himself standing beside Fedder, Mariana, and Tesler, watching as an undead dragon soared toward them.

And if, by some feat of magic or luck - with undead dragons, skill rarely factored into it - they survived, there was only the little issue of a master swordsman and his necromancer brother to worry about, not to mention an undead horde.

Plenty of ways to die, then, if a man liked a little variety with his suffering.

And the week was just getting started.

©2021 Jacob Nathaniel Peppers (P)2022 Tantor
Dark Fantasy Epic Epic Fantasy Fantasy Fiction Magic Dragons Heartfelt Necromancy Magic Users Zombie

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All stars
Most relevant
The story had me gripped from start to finish. I loved every minute of it. The narrations provided by Roger Clark are as expected top quality, he really brings the book to life

Gripping

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The author writes fluently in sarcasm, creating a story that is hilarious and delightfully relatable.

Sarcasm at its finest

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I really love this series. Hopefully the author writes the 5th book. The characters have great chemistry and the humour really works.

Great follow up to the first book

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I did enjoy the story, the characters are an interesting bunch, it was a fun listen and very funny in places.

The only negative comment I have is the authors over use of the word Wince..

Once you notice it, you notice it every time which is frequent. Put it this way if you took a drink every time the word was use you wouldn’t survive the book.

Good but too much wincing

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While it isn’t the greatest story I’ve heard it did keep my attention and the Orator is simply brilliant which does add to the enjoyment. Recommended.

Enjoyable story

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