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Conflict Is Not Abuse

Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair

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Conflict Is Not Abuse

By: Sarah Schulman
Narrated by: Sarah Schulman
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About this listen

From intimate relationships to global politics, Sarah Schulman observes a continuum: that inflated accusations of harm are used to avoid accountability. Illuminating the difference between conflict and abuse, Schulman directly addresses our contemporary culture of scapegoating. This deep, brave, and bold work reveals how punishment replaces personal and collective self-criticism, and shows why difference is so often used to justify cruelty and shunning.

Rooting the problem of escalation in negative group relationships, Schulman illuminates the ways cliques, communities, families, and religious, racial, and national groups bond through the refusal to change their self-concept. She illustrates how supremacy behavior and traumatized behavior resemble each other, through a shared inability to tolerate difference.

This important and sure-to-be controversial book illuminates such contemporary and historical issues of personal, racial, and geo-political difference as tools of escalation towards injustice, exclusion, and punishment, whether the objects of dehumanization are other individuals in our families or communities, people with HIV, African Americans, or Palestinians.

©2016 Sarah Schulman (P)2018 Tantor Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Social Psychology & Interactions Social Sciences Health Middle East Mental Health Social justice Social Conflict

Critic reviews

"A concluding call to address personal and social conflicts without state intervention via police and courts caps off a work that's likely to inspire much discussion." (Publishers Weekly, Starred Review)
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This book is a chance to follow the reasoning behind compassion. It offers techniques and explanations on the art of conflict resolution and even though it’s is hurtful near the end with the content of Palestine, it is worth to stick by it…

Useful for argumenting

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Sarah Schulman is incredibly insightful.

The message central to her book is so poignant today and, could go a long way in solving almost all of the worlds' geopolitical, social and interpersonal issues. Reading this book (or rather listening) really allowed me to reflect on the many times I have felt victimized by people when little harm was actually meant and the harm was mostly imagined. As an anxious person, this book has really helped me come to grips with the fact that my emotional response is not always 100% accurate to the actualities of a situation.

Near the end of the book, Schulman goes on this tangent about the Israel/Palestine conflict that felt somewhat out of place. It lasts about 2 hours and is mainly comprised of Facebook threads and Twitter posts that I can only imagine are incredibly boring to read- but are alright when they are read to you. Overall, I can forgive this because Schulman's discussion of Israel is so interesting- even if it is oddly presented and somewhat out of place in the context of the rest of the book.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book and learnt a lot. This should be read in feminist classes and politics classes too. Better yet, we should teach this at school :)

Great Listen - We Absolutely Love To See It

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This book really changed the way I interact with my emotions and the way I view conflict. Thank you.

Wow

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So uncomfortable. The kind of uncomfortable a caterpillar feels just before it becomes a butterfly...

Not what I expected...

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This book has changed me for the better, I will really think differently about interpersonal conflict and take different actions where I once thought authorities or escalation was needed. The chapter in which she reads out tweets and FB posts is almost unbearable to listen to. doesn't work for an audiobook. The rest of it is amazing.

interesting, challenging, change-making.

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