Come As You Are: Revised and Updated

The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life

Preview

Failed to add items

Sorry, we are unable to add the item because your shopping cart is already at capacity.

Add to basket failed.

Please try again later

Add to wishlist failed.

Please try again later

Remove from wishlist failed.

Please try again later

Adding to library failed

Please try again

Follow podcast failed

Unfollow podcast failed

£0.00 for first 30 days

LIMITED TIME OFFER

Get 3 months for £0.99/mo

Get this deal

Try Premium Plus free

Offer ends December 16, 2025 11:59pm GMT.

Prime members: New to Audible? Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.

Just £0.99/mo for your first 3 months of Audible.

1 bestseller or new release per month—yours to keep.

Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, podcasts, and Originals.

Auto-renews at £8.99/mo after 3 months. Cancel monthly.

Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.

Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.

Access exclusive sales and deals.

£8.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically.

Come As You Are: Revised and Updated

By: Emily Nagoski Ph.D. Ph.D., Nicholas Boulton

Narrated by: Emily Nagoski Ph.D. Ph.D.

Get this deal

Try Premium Plus free

£8.99/mo after 3 months. Cancel monthly. Offer ends December 16, 2025 11:59pm GMT.

£8.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.

Buy Now for £12.99

Only £0.99 a month for the first 3 months. Pay £0.99 for the first 3 months, and £8.99/month thereafter. Renews automatically. Terms apply. Start my membership

About this listen

A revised and updated edition of Emily Nagoski’s game-changing New York Times bestseller Come As You Are, featuring new information and research on mindfulness, desire, and pleasure that will radically transform your sex life.

For much of the 20th and 21st centuries, women’s sexuality was an uncharted territory in science, studied far less frequently—and far less seriously—than its male counterpart.

That is, until Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which used groundbreaking science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them. In the years since the book’s initial publication, countless women have learned through Nagoski’s accessible and informative guide that things like stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it—and that even if you don’t always feel like it, you are already sexually whole by just being yourself. This revised and updated edition continues that mission with new information and advanced research, demystifying and decoding the science of sex so that everyone can create a better sex life and discover more pleasure than you ever thought possible.

Gender Studies

Human Sexuality

Psychology

Psychology & Mental Health

Sexual & Reproductive Health

Social Sciences

Thought-Provoking

Listeners also enjoyed...

The Mindful Way Through Depression cover art

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus cover art

The Body Is Not an Apology, Second Edition cover art

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t) cover art

Most relevant

This makes some aspects of sex research seem so obvious. The best of them do. I listened along, thinking: "oh yeah!" and "why didn't I see it that way before?"

I've already recommended this to a couple of friends (one single, one in a loving relationship), both of whom I think will find it interesting as men to consider from a new perspective.

This is an updated version of a previously released book about desire, normality in sex and in how the brain and sex organs interact in our experiences of pleasure. Having only listened to the updated version, I cannot comment on the updates, but did find it inclusive of those outside of binary categories of gender, and also aware of its shortcomings in terms of research.

It's absolutely fascinating. And certainly made me ponder my own history, current position, future wants and attitudes. There are a lot of simple quotable lines that Nagoski refers to regularly, she reassures and explains the range of normality we all encompass. She manages to explain how a lot of problems many readers experience have arisen. And uses examples of 'women' in relationships (composites of a number she has worked with) to exemplify a few key 'types' that demonstrate various points she makes.

While I've never felt other than existing somewhere along the range of 'normal', this did tick a few boxes and hit a nerve several times when I recognised behaviours, situations and experiences that fit me. Listening to explanations did clear a few things up and make me look at myself and my own body and desires with clearer vision and certainly a lot more kindness, not to mention confidence to express myself.

One for women to read to get to know themselves. One for men to read to get to know the women around them and how they can both differ and communicate those differences, then work to find common ground.

This does not become overly scientific or technical, but does use terminology. Loved the Too Long: Didn't Read (TL: DR) at the end of each chapter, great summaries that did remind me of key points.

The book translates perfectly to audiobook format, and with the addition of the attached pdf (accessible through the Audible menu on the app), gives plenty of material for mulling over, for testing yourself and to return to for future consideration. The author makes an expressive and empathic narrator, and covers her material passionately. It was easy to keep up with her, and she communicates with verve.

This has already inspired me a little, in seeing myself, my mind and body in a slightly different way. And appreciating how it all got where it is.

With thanks to Nudge Books for providing a sample Audible copy.